Thread by @Sneffleupagus

As always, the best part of the conference experience is talking in the in-between times. So many meaningful, powerful, and thought-provoking conversations with folks, my head is still buzzing. One particular conversation is still bouncing in my head that I want to explore more.

Walking through the streets of L.A. and the convo turned to "leadership" and what that means, particularly when it comes to education. I think for k-12 teachers especially, there's a lot of discomfort and dissonance when someone gets labeled as a leader but +

+ doesn't hold an official "leadership" role in their school/district/whatever. Especially since there are so few official pathways for leadership that don't require some sort of admin track (which many of us have no interest in whatsoever). And yet, job title can be irrelevant.

Many folks in this community are seen by their peers as leaders and it has nothing to do with the job they hold, but rather the influence they wield, for better or worse. I have been personally struggling with this a lot, because when I think of myself, I don't think "leader."

And at the same time, there are folks in my mind who are undoubtedly, unquestionably leaders, and yet have that same mental picture of themselves as I do of myself. So how important is it to self ID as leader if your community is IDing you as one?

AND, I'm sitting here cringing as I type, wondering who the hell I think I am to start wondering if I am a leader, despite the conversations I've had this week where folks were very clear that they think of me that way. I'm genuinely wrestling with this because +

Is it more disingenuous to insist that you're not a leader when others are holding you up as one, or to embracing the title of leader without "something to back it up" (whatever that means).

I have no answers to this. Maybe I never will, and maybe that's okay.

But I do wonder what it is about the field of education specifically that makes people feel unworthy. And maybe it's not specific to the field of education, I don't know. Because on the flip side, there is a lot of vitriol for people who begin styling themselves as a "leader."

It's all messy and complicated and weird, and I think I need to have more conversations about this to figure out how I feel about it all. And I'm grateful that I can continue to have those conversations.

"or to embracing"

😮‍💨 Well, there goes all my leadership points. Back to the drawing board.

I keep thinking about the conversations I get to have regularly with @MrKitMath (because I get to do that a lot now that we're co-workers 🥰🥰) about stories we tell ourselves vs. stories others are telling themselves and underneath it all, there is a lot of fear +

+ about how we are perceived and whether others are assigning motivations to our behaviors and actions that may or may not be there. I've been called a lot of things on and off this silly bird app, both positive and negative, and that shit burrows into your brain and stays there.

Specifically, I'm thinking about the conversation from a few years back about whether the #mtbos was/is leaderless. I think it's very clear now that while the MTBoS is for everyone, there are folks who absolutely wield more influence than others in the community.

And while "who" may have shifted over time, a few individuals stand out among the crowd. And those people are leaders, whether they like it or not, whether they ID as one or not. Because leadership isn't necessarily a job you hold; it's the impact you have on a community.