Akiva Cohen Profile picture
Oct 4 46 tweets 16 min read
OK, #LitigationDisasterTourists, let's spend some time on Trump's latest "legal" filing: an abomination that takes direct aim at the First Amendment and your personal freedom of expression.

Yes, even if you're a MAGA-fan Newsmax/OAN die hard: Yours.
The lawyers here are, once again, James Trusty and Lindsey Halligan, and I'm not kidding when I say that the courts should refer them for discipline for filing this flaming bag of dogshit on their doorstep.
Seriously, were I CNN, I'd seriously think about whether to ask the Court to declare Trump a "vexatious litigant" - basically, someone who routinely files frivolous claims for abusive purposes, who from that point on must get pre-approval by the court for future suits
These two things right here are, frankly, grounds enough for bar discipline all on their own, IMO. Your client is not the President. You can't plead something you know is false, even to flatter a client.

But the second highlight is worse. Look what this defamation case is about
Let me be as clear about this as I possibly can:

Donny Trump is a racist, insurrectionist, soft-as-Charmin pissbaby of a Russian lackey. On that latter one, I doubt it's intentional, he's not being run by a Russian handler; he's just naturally inclined that way
He's not Hitler, but he's certainly running pages out of the Hitler political playbook, which is only surprising for someone who owned a copy of Hitler's My New Order (a collection of speeches) in that nobody really believes Donny can read

vanityfair.com/magazine/2015/…
It is the First Amendment right of every single American, from the most ignorant to the most knowledgeable, from the poorest to the wealthiest, individual, corporation, and media company, to hold and express those opinions of Donny boy.

And yes, you dumb fucks, of Joe Biden.
The fact that believing that about Biden would be stupid, wrong, and evidence of brain worms and that believing it about Donny boy is simply being able to recognize reality at above the level of a preschooler is irrelevant.

Political opinions CANNOT be defamatory
Why? Because while they can be *based on facts* (for example, "Donny is a racist" is supported by the fact that his company was found to have excluded Blacks from renting his apartments, was quoted as not wanting Black dealers in his casinos, etc.) ...
there's no objective standard for measuring and determining racism and no official body allowed to tell you, a red-blooded American, what conclusions you are or are not allowed to draw from the facts you are aware of.
I mean hell, are these treasonous anti-American shitbags really trying to set up *Politifact* - fucking Politifact - as the arbiter of truth and allowed opinion in the US media? Really?
Let's pause here to note that the same people who claim to support "free speech" by insisting that private social media companies MUST host literal neo-nazis are also going to be cheering a request that the government prevent media companies from expressing disfavored opinions
Did George Orwell write this pleading?

Motherfucker, did Fox News stop existing while I was out for Rosh Hashannah? Also you're literally suing to repress ideas from the public consciousness; you'd like media companies to be unable to call you the racist insurrectionist you are
Anyway, I'm going to skip through the "jurisdiction, parties, and venue" section; Donny is a Florida citizen and he's alleging defamation. That's enough to let him sue CNN in FL.
Why in the world would you do this? If you're representing Trump, what possible benefit is there of reproducing CNN's "hahahaha fuck you no fuck off" letter?
Next, the facts section:

"CNN says it's a good news network"
I'm not joking, this is how the section starts
They then move on to "but they have political opinions!"
Again, this is neither a joke nor a drill - it's their actual complaint. How very dare they
This, btw, is the segment calling Trump a cult leader. Imagine being enough of an authoritarian to think that media companies shouldn't be allowed to run segments like this, and having the balls to call that "defending the First Amendment"

Then we move to the actual core of the complaint: You called me a nazi

BTW, linear time is a thing, you pan-galactic incompetents. How could calling Trump an insurrectionist (post-2020 election) have been intended to derail his 2020 candidacy?
I particularly like the bit where they explain that Zakaria explicitly said "let's be very clear, Donald Trump is not Adolf Hitler" and highlight that what they want to make actionable is any attempt to draw historical parallels.
I mean, Donny, they say that those who don't learn from history are doomed to repeat it. But you don't want people to be able to learn from the history of Hitler's rise in Germany? Why would you want us doomed to repea--
More "defamation" - opinions (correctly) deemed stupid by Politifact. Again, are you sure that's the standard you want, Donny?
Here's the Politifact piece, btw. And if Rob Jackson, a Stanford professor of earth science, says calling Trump Hitler seems inappropriate, how can you NOT find that a defamatory falsehood?
Next we have an express "it's defamatory for a media company to accurately report my political opponent's criticisms of me", and no I'm not kidding or exaggerating about that
And "only historians are allowed to have opinions"

This stuff is just so deeply unamerican. And there's exactly ZERO chance that any Republican leaders will call it out.
Next, we get to "calling my election fraud claims the Big Lie is defamatory because that's a tactic Hitler is associated with"
This next section is basically the "not cool, dude!" section, and "not cool, dude!" is not a valid basis for a legal complaint, you racist, insurrectionist, Russian lackey of a shitweasel

(And OMG, they actually used "not cool". I'm dead)
BTW:

Holocaust comparisons? Not cool. Comparing Trump to Hitler on a policy level? Not cool. Comparing *tactics and cult-like followings*? Perfectly, totally, and completely fine.

The difference? One minimizes the unique evil of the holocaust. The other doesn't. At all.
"It's defamatory to call my false claims of election fraud a Big Lie" should get sua sponte sanctions, tbh. There's no need for a judge to wait for a motion from the defendant. This is not a claim that American law allows or should ever allow
Now - finally - let's get to the statements they asked CNN to retract. None of this stuff is even conceivably defamatory.

Nor is it CNN's fault that Trump is viewed as the lowest of the low.

That's all you, Donny
BTW, that "courts have found Hitler comparisons libelous per se" line? Let's detour and look at those.

First, every single one of those was pre-Times v. Sullivan (no actual malice standard).
Second, the Tennessee case was based on interpreting the phrase "Hitler-like tactics" as an accusation of oppressive conduct in office that wouldn't have been libelous when not applied to someone's official conduct - which, um ... it isn't here.
So aside from the fact that the Tennessee case isn't good law (see the more recent Tennessee decision for a better precedent), even if it was it wouldn't apply here.
How about the Pennsylvania case? Well, here's the libelous statement at issue in that case.

Not just "Naziphile" - an opinion - but specific factual claims about the things the guy had supposedly said. The case turned on the jury not believing he said those things
Last, that Texas case?

It involved a newspaper falsely reporting that *a government draft board* had classified the plaintiff as "Pro-Nazi". Not the paper's opinion that the guy was pro-Nazi, but a fact about what the draft board did that was either true or false.
This is America. We get to call our politicians nazis, or racists, or commie bastards, or America-haters, or whatever other inflammatory political rhetoric we think the facts support - rightly or wrongly.
I don't say this lightly:

It is impossible to both love this country and intelligently support Donald Trump. People like Ted Cruz? Do not remotely love America. They love themselves, and they love power. They don't give the first wet shit about this country.
Anyway, next we have a section on "but you don't call other things the Big Lie!" which isn't remotely worth anyone's time because no, you pudgy orange bag of dicks, "voters who should have been allowed to vote weren't" isn't remotely comparable to "they rigged the vote count"
hahahahahahahahahaha
And here are the actual claims (for a Trump complaint, this one is blessedly short and MOSTLY avoids thinking it's a legal brief instead of a complaint):

"Calling my election claims a Big Lie convinces viewers I wanna genocide the Jews"
There's a whole lot of paragraphs repeating the same basic thought, and then he pleads it again as straight defamation instead of defamation per se (which is just "defamation so bad you don't need to prove damages"). Again, not worth anyone's time.
I'll leave you where I started: this lawsuit is an express and egregious attack on freedom of political expression in America, and does more to drive home Trump's alignment with and longing for authoritarian regimes than anything CNN ever could.
Zero chance. This isn't a "you got the facts wrong but you believed them" case.

This is a "you're not allowed to have a political opinion" case.

That loses at SCOTUS 8-1; not even Thomas signs up for that. (Alito votes for owning the libs)

No. They filed this in the Ft Lauderdale division; Cannon only sits in Ft Pierce

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More from @AkivaMCohen

Sep 29
Hey, #LitigationDisasterTourists Judge Loose Cannon is at it again, apparently completely unchastened by the shellacking she received from the 8th circuit and once again handing Trump everything he asks for.

storage.courtlistener.com/recap/gov.usco…
Issue Number 1:

Cannon's order appointing Judge Dearie directed him to verify that the government's "Detailed Property Inventory" was full and accurate.

So Dearie directed the parties to do that. BOTH parties. Image
Not just the government, but also Trump had to make clear whether he was contending the inventory contained any items that weren't seized from the property ("say under oath that they were planted, motherfucker, I dare you"); or omitted anything, or misdescribed anything. ImageImage
Read 14 tweets
Sep 22
Yes, what the DeSantis administration is doing to immigrants in Texas is criminal. But let's pretend for a moment it wasn't. That there was no specific statute that adequately covered "lying to vulnerable people to get them to participate in a stunt that harmed them"

OK. So?
Lot's of morally repugnant things aren't criminal.

Being a neo-nazi isn't criminal. Cheating on your spouse isn't criminal. Mocking disabled people isn't criminal.

"OK, was what our governor/candidate did criminal?" should not remotely be the standard
What DeSantis did was morally repugnant.

He stole from the people of Florida, taking money appropriated for transporting illegal immigrants from Florida to other jurisdictions and using it to benefit him personally by transporting *legal* migrants from Texas ...
Read 9 tweets
Sep 22
Those of Trump's lawyers who are remotely competent (and Kise is) are currently considering kidnapping their client and hiding him in a bunker.

He just said "I implicitly declassified it with the act of sending the docs to Mar-a-Lago" - that BURIES him on 793
Seriously. 793 *does not require* the documents to be classified. Just that they contain national defense information that could harm the US if disclosed.

But "I declassified" could still have been a potential defense under 1 and only 1 circumstance:
If he could say that in his capacity as commander in chief, he made a document by document decision that the information those documents contained could not jeopardize national security if revealed.
Read 6 tweets
Sep 22
BTW, a coda.

Remember a little while ago I said that Trump's entire play through this classified documents issue basically couldn't have been more perfectly designed to ensure he'd get indicted if he tried? Every move basically forcing DOJ's hand towards an indictment?
Well, DOJ currently has a stay of a ruling that said they couldn't use the contents of the classified docs to indict him yet.

But there's no guarantee that stay remains in place. No guarantee that SCOTUS doesn't hand Trump a win. It shouldn't, probably won't, but no guarantee
And, um ...
Read 7 tweets
Sep 21
Hey, #LitigationDisasterTourists, remember what I said about the difference between Trump judges and Trumpist judges? The 11th Circuit just drove that home to one Donald J. Trump in an opinion issued by a panel including two judges he appointed
The ruling is stayed ONLY as to two aspects: the review of classified documents and the injunction stopping the criminal investigation. So Judge Dearie stays in place for the rest.

But since those were the only parts Trump actually cared about, this is a massive blow to him
I'm not going to go over their recap of the facts & procedural history, but it's worth noting that they specifically said that NARA was acting as it was supposed to in trying to get documents back from Trump
Read 36 tweets
Sep 21
Hey, #LitigationDisasterTourists - at about 11pm last night, the US filed its 11th Circuit response on its motion to stay.

As Zuma would put it, let's dive in

(Yeah, I've got little kids, and that show's watchable. It is what it is)
This is how you open a reply brief:

Reset the factual situation
We showed XYZ
Their opp does nothing.

And it hammers the key point: When push comes to shove, Trump has no substantive argument - so much so that they never even really tried pretending otherwise Image
Then immediately onto Schrodinger's Declassification, making the point that (1) he hasn't actually said he did that, so it can't be a basis to grant relief and (2) even if he'd done it, it wouldn't change the analysis Image
Read 28 tweets

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