Neurodivergent screening tests will be like "do you struggle with wearing socks" and ND people will be like "nope does not describe me, for you see I have a System" and folks that is what the question is getting at
(diagnostic tests don't really ask about socks AFAIK but I think it's a good example because of all of the elaborate sock systems I've seen people develop)
My personal sock system is: ankle socks only because they have less room to fall down. But the toe seam is a problem and also I can't mix & match individual socks anymore because then the textures do not match
anyway in general when a diagnostic question asks if you struggle with something and your answer is no but only because of the careful rules you have painstakingly crafted over the years and which you must follow Or Else, then I just think that's a Yes
"I don't struggle with wearing socks, my quality of life just improved significantly when it became fashionable to wear loafers without socks"
also: I did not struggle with socks as a kid but I DID hate the feeling of them falling loosely around my ankles so I would neatly roll them down. problem solved. it looked super weird but I didn't care. no struggles here.
Starting to get some replies/QTs saying this is just a "personal preference" that everyone has. If you read the replies, you will find many experiences that go far beyond a "personal preference" - and a number of mental health practitioners agreeing with this sentiment.
"But I don't like socks either & I'm NT" did you have meltdowns as a child over it? Have you repeatedly stopped walking or pulled over driving to fix it? Do you spend significantly more time or money on sock management than your peers? Because that's what we are talking about.
holy smokes what is HAPPENING with this thread. that's a lot of likes. 😶🌫️
• • •
Missing some Tweet in this thread? You can try to
force a refresh
Just because someone talks about their chronic illness or neurodivergent condition doesn't mean they're ""using it as an excuse"" or ""making it their identity"". Not all narratives that include a diagnosis or discovery of a condition are victim narratives. Look closer.
By "victim narrative", I mean an unhealthy self view that says other people are responsible for everything, things just happen to them with no agency on their part, they're surrounded by assholes.
I think one reason neurodiversity discourse rubs people the wrong way on social media is because they assume it's always associated with a victim mindset. They think we're always saying we're autistic so nothing is our fault.
FYI I'm reading up on workplace burnout research and your recovery strategy needs 4 elements:
- Detachment, aka "switching off" after work
- Relaxation. NOT just stationary rest or doomscrolling. Purposeful relaxation activities, whatever that means to you.
- Mastery experiences: These are things you find challenging & that you learn from, outside of work.
- Agency experiences: This is when you do stuff just because you feel like it - not to please anyone else.
Recovery also involves working BELOW baseline for awhile.
Anyway if you're like me and have always felt that working through the holidays was nice because you could slow down, work on stuff because you want to, take on new things... This is why!
I sent you a thoughtful assortment of links: the usual mix of pet videos, pandemic studies, cryptic Tumblr screenshots, Reddit forums and listicles of products I think you'll like. I hope everything resonates.
I feel like I'm a magnet for inconsistencies. My colleagues tell me: "We always do this way." I do it that way; they say, "Oh, this instance is different, for these we do it this way." These exchanges are so quick and calm. They see no conflict between these statements.
I know it looks like I'm finding the inconsistencies; hunting for them, seeing them even when they're not there. But it feels like they find me, like creatures in a vision, only appearing to one person. It feels like they happen to me and I'm just noticing them.
Shame should be diagnostic for ADHD women. Paralyzing shame that steals years & wrecks relationships. Absolutely refusing to be outed as a person with a messy house or who doesn't cook or who forgot that key deadline, as if, if you want it badly enough, you can be someone else 💔
It's me, your autistic friend, listening to you describe shame as deep as the ocean over things you clearly can't help & are working very hard on. I don't notice your mess or forgetfulness or distraction. I notice your broken heart over not being whoever you think you should.
I don't know what I did to deserve this but as an autistic woman I do not have this sense that who I am is wrong. Maybe because I never really believed I could be someone else. Maybe because people insulted me by calling me names, not by telling me I wasn't trying hard enough.
My endeavours at employment continue. Today someone told me the tone of my email was "not helpful". Alarmed, I combed through the posting for this role, the job description from when I was hired, and my training notes.
...But could find no requirement that my emails must be helpful, no metrics for what that looks like, and no instructions for how to achieve that. I asked for an example email and they just looked at me funny, so I did a cursory data sampling and noticed some trends to apply.
My colleagues' emails appear to be long on preamble and short on concrete details. They only address one point in the previous email, generally the first one, and never go into root causes. They also use more emojis, more typos and more exclamation points than me.
36 here. I used to think this about my coworkers & then I noticed some of the more laidback & non confrontational employees were also older & more successful in life. They weren't cowards. They knew some things I didn't about the environment and their own circumstances.
Some of the quiet employees were just more advanced in their careers & genuinely happy where they were. They had all their needs met. They weren't campaigning for a promotion like I constantly was. I thought I understood this but as I get closer to this state: It's different.
Others, I later learned, had had some run ins with management and learned very clearly that confrontation would not be rewarded. So they kept quiet. I hadn't learned this & was resistant to seeing it but doing nothing is a valid & skillful strategy.