Thread by @garius

I appreciate not everyone is a massive nerd. So I'm going to attempt to explain what just happened in parliament.

Because it is BEYOND batshit levels of foot-shooting by Team Truss. /1

The opposition (repped by Ed Miliband here) called a vote on extending the fracking moratorium.

This was a trap. A really obvious one. One that had a sign on it that said "trap". A series of billboards extending a mile down the road saying "trap in one mile" etc.

It was a trap that would only work if Team Truss made it a 'three line whip' vote - i.e. you MUST vote with the government or you don't get to be a Tory anymore - and declared it a confidence vote in her government.

It could be avoided by not doing the above.

And you'd have to be REALLY stupid to make it a three line whip and confidence vote. Because the only person who likes fracking in the Tory Party is Rees-Mogg.

I presume at some point we'll find he's invested in it somehow. Like everything else he likes.

And their own voters HATE it. Fracking is a thing you do not want to be associated with a Tory MP right now.

So - to reiterate - the ABSOLUTE WORST thing you could do would be to declare it a three line whip and a confidence vote in your own government.

Team Truss immediately declared it a three line whip and a confidence vote in her government.

This meant two hours of very pissed off Tory MPs. To the point where people who would shill for satan if he had a blue rosette were standing up in the Commons and saying (to paraphrase):

"Fuck this shit. I can't believe I have to vote yes for this. Why are you making me do this"

Meanwhile Ed Miliband is just watching and being all:

YES. HAHAHA CHAOS. YOU DEMANDED IT. CHAOS I BRING.

And then, right at the end of the debate, a junior minister stands up and says:

"Well actually people can vote how they like because this isn't a confidence vote."

And Ed Miliband, astonished, is just watching. He's all:

WHAT IS THIS. NON-MILIBAND CHAOS?!

He's loving it.

Now we have a procession of Tory MPs, who have just been shilling reluctantly for fracking, standing up and asking the minister if this is or isn't a confidence vote.

He says that's for other people to say, despite him just saying it whilst literally being a minister.

As the debate ends and voting begins, word starts to filter in that the government have bottled it. It's no longer a three-line whip. But people are voting. And Rees-Mogg is shouting. And whips are dragging people into the government lobby.

Full post-Miliband chaos is underway.

And amidst this, nobody seems to know whether the Tory Chief Whip has just resigned in disgust. Or been sacked. Or ever existed at all maybe.

We're so far beyond Miliband chaos now that we're at risk of integer overflowing back INTO Miliband chaos.

And so the results come in, and the government has won the vote.

But everyone is furious. Because still no one is entirely sure if it was a confidence vote or not.

And I think even Ed Miliband, who is rather lovely, is:

OKAY. ENOUGH CHAOS MAYBE?

At this point.

Until the results breakdown. At which point it becomes clear that this most definitely was NOT a confidence vote for the simple fucking reason that

LIZ TRUSS ABSTAINED.

So she threatened her own MPs. Then didn't even vote for it herself.

votes.parliament.uk/Votes/Commons/…

Nor did the now-Ex chief whip, Wendy Morton, which presumably goes a long way to explaining the Ex part of that whether by choice or not.

So yeah.

How to take a little bit of patent Miliband chaos and turn it into a disaster, while still winning.

Liz Truss everyone. Big clap.

I think she's just killed her own Prime Ministership over something that everybody thought was maybe the least tricky hurdle she had to deal with so far this week.

What a talent. What a time to be alive (and to have to pay a mortgage in).

I feel obliged to point out that @Endless_PaulyT and I designed a #Trussterfuck t-shirt that you can own and wear, but that in our WILDEST DREAMS we did not realise how necessary it would be.

You can buy it here. Maybe get one for Ed Miliband as a gift ttf2022.myspreadshop.co.uk

Yup. So it seems! 😆

https://twitter.com/johnjprior/status/1582811748951683072

UPDATE:

OH THANK GOD. She did at least vote no it now seems. It just got lost at the time amidst the... Well, chaos.

The chaos continues. They've either unresigned or never actually resigned.

My money is on the former.

https://twitter.com/BethRigby/status/1582835031344807940

And OH THANK GOD.

To confirm:

LIZ TRUSS DID NOT ABSTAIN.

It just took a while for her 'no' vote to get picked up amidst the chaos she was busy creating.

Okay people keep saying "you forgot about Suella."

Look I didn't, I just needed to confine myself to events between about 5:30 and 8pm (future students be like: "my politics thesis is on 19th October 2022, evening only")

But to explain Suella, as it is relevant...

Earlier today Suella Braverman, everyone's favourite photocopying racist and until that moment Home Secretary, quit.

Well. was made to quit. Because she emailed an MP confidential info to try and persuade him to back her doing more racism from a non-secure email address.

I mean, yes in a normal job this is a firing offense but it probably doesn't even make the shortlist of fireable offenses in this cabinet. And firing her before a confidence vote would be a massive political mis-step.

So Liz Truss fired her.

She then immediately appointed Grant Shapps, a man with more sock puppets than the sesame street cast, to replace her pleasing precisely no one except Grant Shapps who should never be pleased.

But too late. She'd pissed of the right of the party. Which probably cost her the vote

Anyway don't worry. If you thought for a second that Truss had FINALLY managed to please at least one person (5 counting socks) i.e. Grant Shapps, then according to parliament's creepy-teacher cosplayer Steve Baker she's actually trying to unfire Suella

https://twitter.com/paulwaugh/status/1582836007405113344

This would of course give her a Home Secretary and rival who already hated her back, whilst also creating an enemy (again. She's already done it once) of Grant Shapps.

Which is dangerous as he's the only Tory MP who apparently knows how Microsoft Excel works and does lists.

But ultimately take that Suella reappointment plan with a massive pinch of salt, as it's Steve Baker who is saying it. And you might think "well he said so live on TV" but Steve Baker also regularly argues that Brexit was a success so he doesn't have a great track record.

Anyway, that's how Suella Braverman related to today, whilst also becoming one of the shortest-reigning Home Secretaries ever at just 0.97 David-Blaines-In-A-Box.

To note for science:

Liz Truss needs to make it past tomorrow to have lasted the full 1.0 David-Blaines-In-A-Box.

OH GOD. I wake up and apparently we're not done.

https://mobile.twitter.com/garius/status/1582997798085361664