Thread by @AmyIsPolyam

So here's a thought on the one-note "lol polyamorous people are ugly" joke that's doing the rounds AGAIN.

This whole school of thought - that our relationships are less valid and more worthy of mockery because we're "ugly" - is predicated on the assumption that relationships

are at least in part for public consumption. For external clout. For "ThE aEsThEtIc" on social media.

Literally WHY DOES IT MATTER TO YOU if some people you don't find attractive are living their best lives in loving relationships with one another?

I suggest it matters to you because we live in a world that has distilled the breathtaking, beautiful complexity of human relationships down to movie-star-beautiful Instagram selfies, #couplegoals, and the utterly gross concept of attractiveness "leagues."

If you've posted or laughed at a "polyam people are ugly" meme, are you seriously telling me that meeting society's white cis thin heteronormative beauty standard is the ONLY thing, or even the most important thing, that matters to you in a romantic partner?

I doubt it, honestly. But I'd ask you to think for a second how it might feel if your relationships were being invalidated because strangers didn't believe you and/or your partner were attractive enough to deserve love, connection, romance, intimacy, sex.

All this to say: maybe you think we're ugly. Maybe you should keep that nasty, petty, playground-bully thought to yourself and ask yourself why you're so bothered that people you don't know and don't fancy are enjoying dating each other?

🙃🙃🙃