I need to talk about the fact that Ben goes full hedgehog (I presume because of the Lewis news, if that article's correct), very clearly on the edge, but then brings himself back to a point of actively deciding to open up to Callum about it 😭 #Ballum
tw: rape , sexual assault
Especially as it sounds like he tries initially and is interrupted, but rather than giving up and letting himself internalize it, and spiral, the spoilers suggest he then tries again and is able to actually talk to Callum about it. That's huge for him.
tw: rape , sexual assault
We've watched Ben on a journey from not wanting Callum to kow anything, to being okay-ish with him knowing and (a bit reluctantly) accepting his support, to Ben actively talking to Callum about it, persevering even when barriers are put in front of him.
tw: rape , sexual assault
Although I wish we'd seen more of his journey through these steps, maybe seen him reach out to a support group for help to get him there, it still makes me emotional how far he's come in the past few months, and how close he is to rebuilding his life.
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The problem with saying 'just log off' as a solution if someone is being cyberbullied or harassed online, is that for some of the most vulnerable people, the internet is also their only source of community and friendship.
The internet is massively complicated in that way - it can be a source of great pain, but also a source of great comfort, and both of those things can be true, at the same time, in the space of a single second. Logging off may stop the harassment, but it may also isolate you.
I know that the instinctive answer is 'well, make it so people don't need to rely on the internet for community, friendship and support', and whilst I agree that that must be an end goal, it really doesn't help people in the here and now.
If the root of you questioning/disbelieving someone about their queerness or transness is the fact that they're autistic, then you are ableist.
The belief that autistic people lack the capability to self-determine who they are, or that we inherently don't get to have that sort of autonomy, is the kind of anti-autistic ableism that has been used to coerce, abuse and control autistic people for years. It's violence.
The irony of people being like 'I'm just worried that autistic people might be falsely coerced into thinking they're queer/trans!' whilst at the same time insisting to autistic people that we 'must' be straight/cisgender, as if that behaviour isn't absolutely textbook coercion.
People saying 'we should bring Boris Johnson back, he was only fired for a party!' just demonstrate how quickly and easily history can be rewritten.
tw: sexual assault
Because everyone seems to have forgotten what happened literally a couple months ago: no, he didn't lose his job over the parties, he lost his job because he made a known sexual abuser Chief Whip, then lied and said he'd had no idea about the accusations.
tw: sexual assault
In case anyone doesn't know: Chief Whips are in charge of ensuring MPs vote the 'right' way, a powerful position, so giving it to someone you know has had accusations of sexual misconduct against him is a massively horrifying decision. itv.com/news/2022-07-0…
Remind me to never again get drawn into conversations defending myself against people telling me to lose weight. The last one ended up with them, a total stranger, demanding to know whether I got more sex when I was skinny versus now I'm fat.
tw: disordered eating , sexual harassment
For context, I, in a bid to defend myself, explained that I have a complicated relationship with food that has left me both malnourished (skinny) and fat at different times. Their response to this was 'which one got you more sex?'.
tw: sexual harassment
I blocked them at that point, but I should never have been drawn in to discuss something so personal, publicly, with someone who I KNEW didn't give a damn, but I couldn't help but try and defend myself from. Lesson learned. These people aren't worth it.
Just saying, due to some stuff happening in the US right now: someone needing communication aids or assistive technology to communicate, whatever the reason for needing it, does not make them unfit to hold political office, and to suggest that it does is deeply, awfully ableist.
There are many reasons why someone might need assistive technology to communicate, whether to help them hear/process what they're being told, or to help them communicate what they want to say, and we need to start normalizing this across our society - including in politics.
Someone taking a little more time, or needing a little bit of help, to process what they're being told, does not mean they are incapable of understanding/processing information, and we need to start accepting, respecting and normalizing the different ways that people communicate.