Thread by @jinpeili

CCTV FOLLIES: 10/24
-Hangover from 20th congress
-Xi does cosplay with PLA
-Ukraine is a video game as seen by Russia
-Ukraine hoarding grain
-Europe energy woes
-"The Coming Collapse of the USA" (TM)

Xi gives a pep talk to the military. Everyone takes notes on top of the print-out of the speech.
Woe to those who don't take notes!
Hierarchical protocol and visible displays of deference are important to his highness.

In the presence of his highness, smiles and applause burst out with almost obsessive sponteneity, rapidly approaching the North Korean standard.
His highness doesn't smile.
As the boss of all, he doesn't have to.

Li Zhanshu, so harshly traumatized at the sight of his elder colleague Hu Jintao being forcibly removed from stage on October 22, has recovered nicely.

The Central Committee press conference was a bore, all prepared statements and bored scribes, but the commercial break was rather uplifting.

"Hard liquor for a classy life"

And now, to international news...

Over to you, Igor Konanshenkov.
Thank you. The Special Military Operation is going very well. I have some nice, exciting pictures for you. Our weapons are precise and only hit valid military targets.

The Russian Defense Ministry excels at aerial shots.

And just to keep things fair and balanced, we get a brief view of Ukraine fighting back.

If you had some worries to date about China's lack of humanitarian concern for Ukraine, be real worried.

The new news in the new era of the newly-annointed paramount leader is pro-Russia all the way.

Add oil, Team Russia!

4 CCTV stories follow, each embedded in Russian view:

Mikhail Mishustin, Prime Minister of Russia, gets a lengthy segment of his own. Note the advanced Zoom technology used to communicate with Sergei Shoigu and other luminaries

His eminence Sergey Lavrov really knows how to make a dramatic entrance.
He accuses Ukraine of hoarding grain and keeping it from the really hungry people

Following Lavrov's blather is a lengthy in-depth segment featuring many boats on the Black Sea and vast quantities of grain and some finger-pointing at Ukraine.

It just goes to show you can't trust 'em. They're actually Russian but won't admit it.

Next is CCTV's trademark deeply-felt concern for Europe's energy crisis, especially those sad gas shortages in poor Germany due to its lack of win-win cooperation with Putin's Russia.

And finally, it would not be the world news without some obligatory US-bashing. I used to call this segment "bad news from a bad country" but given its unrelentingly grim focus, I'm thinking of changing it to:
"The Coming Collapse of the USA"

There are plenty of colorful crime stories to draw on (China doesn't have a crime problem)
Stock footage can be used in a pinch on quiet days.
But it's not quiet. Three dead in Missouri...

And that's the world today, brought to you by CCTV!

And now for some soothing pictures of the motherland.

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