Oh I can't even visit it with my Meta Quest 2 headset? Double meh.
The Grid. A digital frontier. I tried to picture clusters of information as they moved through the computer. What did they look like? Ships, motorcycles? Were the circuits like freeways? I kept dreaming of a world I thought I'd never see. And then, one day I got in...
THIS CHANGES EVERYTHING
I CAN READ ARTICLES FROM INC. AND FAST COMPANY IN THIS METAVERSE UPS STORE
SHOULD I READ ABOUT
* THE IMPORTANCE OF WORK FLEXIBILITY
* ENCOURAGING NEXT GENERATION ENTREPRENEURSHIP
* 5 SIMPLE STEPS TO BUILD A SUSTAINABLE BUSINESS
* 4 CRUCIAL MISTAKES TO AVOID AS A SMALL BUSINESS
I CAN JUMP IN FRONT OF THIS INC. AND FAST COMPANY ARTICLE ABOUT WORK FLEXIBILITY
A COMPANY PAID MONEY FOR THIS AND PEOPLE WORKED ON THIS AND THEY WERE PAID MONEY AND MEANWHILE OUR PLANET IS BURNING AND FREEZING AND FLOODING
DID YOU KNOW I'M IN THE UPS STORE
I'M IN THE UPS. STORE. YOU CAN'T STOP ME. I'M UNSTOPPABLE.
OH MY GOD STEVE CHAMBERS, VP OF RETAIL AND BUSINESS DEVELOPMENT, THE UPS STORE NO WHY DID YOU DO THIS AM I LIKE THE THIRD PERSON TO READ IT EVER
GET THIS, THE HEADLINE IS: THE IMPORTANCE OF WORK FLEXIBILITY
THE SUBHEAD IS: THE IMPORTANCE OF WORK FLEXIBLITY
THAT'S RIGHT.
NOBODY.
IS.
TALKING.
SHALL I GO TO THE NEXT PAGE
omg I just hit the back button by accident and completely left the world and had to go back in because this is a travel journalism
ANYWAY THE TUTORIAL STARTED AGAIN AND I CAN HIT F FOR NO OR E FOR YES
Check me out in my UPS brand styleguide colours outfit at THE UPS STORE where you can BE UNSTOPPABLE like how you CAN'T STOP ME DOING THIS THREAD and you CAN'T STOP READING
THERE'S THREE. MORE. FLOORS.
I HAVE NO IDEA HOW TO GET UPSTAIRS.
BUT THREE FLOORS IS ONLY A THREAT IN THE METAVERSE THIS UPS STORE COULD BE UNSTOPPABLE IN ITS VERTICAL HEIGHT.
CHECK IT OUT THOUGH.
I'VE GOT LEGS.
*LEGS*
FOUND THE LIFT! I'M GONNA GO TO FLOOR 2, "BE UNSTOPPABLE ACADEMY" WHERE I CAN LEARN THE LATEST BUSINESS TRENDS AND YOU CAN TOO BECAUSE YOU'RE TRAPPED HERE WITH ME
OH WAIT THERE'S AN AD FOR A SEMINAR ABOUT THE METAVERSE IN THE METAVERSE THIS IS GREAT
BUT THAT'S ON FLOOR 3, THE AMPHITHEATER AND I AM NOT ON THAT FLOOR
OK I AM IN THE UNSTOPPABLE ACADEMY NOW AND I'M DOING SOMETHING I'VE ALWAYS WANTED TO DO BUT HAVE NEVER DONE
I AM STANDING ON A TABLE IN THE ACADEMY PART OF A UPS STORE
THE METAVERSE IS AMAZING
I'M STANDING. ON. A. TABLE. IN. A. UPS. STORE.
BEING IN THE UPS STORE WHERE I AM BE UNSTOPPABLE IS USING 91% OF THIS MACBOOK PRO M1 PRO'S GPU AND THAT IS TOTALLY FINE AND EFFICIENT
I CAN EARN CUSTOM WEARABLES HERE
NOT, LIKE, A DISCOUNT AT UPS OR ANYTHING THAT MIGHT ENTICE ME TO SPEND MONEY. NO.
CUSTOM WEARABLES.
OH MAN I CAN'T EVEN GET THE CUSTOM WEARABLES YET
WHAT A WASTE
WHAT A SAD, SAD WASTE
THAT WAS BORING I'M GONNA GO TO THE AMPITHEATER WHICH AS WE ALL KNOW IS GREEK FOR JESUS FUCK SECOND LIFE CAME OUT 19 YEARS AGO HOW IS THIS SOMEHOW WORSE
HOLY FUCKING SHIT THEY'RE PLAYING A VIDEO IN THE AMPITHEATER AND THERE'S GIANT CONTROLS.
THEY PUT TIERED SEATING IN HERE IN CASE IT GOT TOO BUSY AND YOU KNOW WHAT YOU CAN'T EVEN SIT DOWN
I MEAN I HAVE LEGS SO YOU CAN TELL THIS IS NEXTGEN TECH, BUT, LIKE SITTING DOWN WOULD BE MINDBLOWING
DON'T FUCKING COME IN AS WELL YOU'LL JUST ENCOURAGE THEM
It's past 5pm here so I'm done. Fin. That's it. No more Metaverse.
The UPS Unstoppable Store has been Stopped by me.
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The Federation made product feature onboarding illegal in the late 2300s, that's why there's no pop-ups on the main viewer letting people know about AWESOME NEW HOLODECK FEATURES like People Chips.
Imagine being in the middle of working on a presentation about how to beat the Borg in Astrometrics and then LCARS is all INTRODUCING A NEW WAY TO SHARE WITH YOUR CREWMATES.
Geordi is all re-calibrating the warp chamber intermix ratio when a pop-up about GET NOTIFICATIONS ABOUT YOUR FRIEND'S CAT ON YOUR PADD distracts him, he tries to dismiss it, but then gets the ratio wrong and there's nearly the fourth warp core containment breach that week.