Hard no. I pay half as much for @netflix, I get @CobraKaiSeries, @TheCrownNetflix, Call My Agent and more for free and don’t have to endure stupidly obvious and painfully wit-free jokes from @reedhastings: theverge.com/2022/10/30/234…
Tumescent no. I pay half as much for Apple Music, get all the songs I like including ones that help me put my 1 year old to bed and @tim_cook doesn’t feel the need to tweet homophobic shitty news for laffs. Yeah fuck that.
Stiff no. @amazon Prime costs $5 less, I get all my deliveries of all manner of stuff fast and free, also get free video and @JeffBezos is looking good, has a great ex in @mackenziescott and makes penis-shaped rockets which is always good for a laugh.
Non-flaccid no. I pay nothing for @DisneyPlus since it comes free with my cable, get 4,529 watchings (and counting) of @DisneyFrozen for my 3 year old daughter and @RobertIger is charming, erudite and classy, as well as very handsome gentleman.
Turgid no. I pay half as much for @Microsoft 365, i get software for my upcoming book on Silicon Valley that just got a lot better and @satyanadella would never act like this much of a buffoon. In fact, he’s a gem.
In fact, I would not pay a dime for verification. In fact, social media should pay its creators and treat them with respect , instead of unleashing knuckleheads on them. Like I said, fuck that.
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