I just finished #MyMindAndMe on Apple+ and it is well worth a watch. Something that strikes me about it (+ what I have seen in the cooking show) is the community in healing. Friends that keep you grounded, flexible coworkers, family who care, doctors and experts, hometown folk...
It's not just a @selenagomez documentary. If you have mental illness, you may see your own story too. Our version of the spotlights. The things we say or do, the coping mechanisms that work and don't, the fear, hope, sadness, regret, faith. And honor to hold others' stories too.
I'm grateful to Selena for speaking these things out loud, not just so they break stigma but because her music helped me stay alive when I did not want to be. I know I'm not the only one. And I am heartbroken she felt the same and at the same time had to navigate it all publicly.
So the takeway here isn't "oo a celebrity breakdown." It's kindness, honesty, empathy, connection, purpose, authenticity, vulnerability... (cc: @BreneBrown future #UnlockingUs guest?) Please watch this not for gawking/gossip but for the hope that you can make it out alive too.
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It's time for my favorite chart! Anyone of any orientation can fall anywhere on this chart. The key is that the white background is about society. The black side is about you. And it can be different depending on the act/genders/people involved! Can change throughout your life.
We emphasize that orientations are mostly about attraction, not behavior, because for decades, orientations have been gatekept by rules of how often, with whom, etc. and norms. But you can have vague desire while not having attraction in a personal/gendered sense, and vice versa.
Also applies to romance, I just don't have a chart for that.
You can still be gay/lesbian/pan/bi/straight and not want sex for various reasons while still having attraction.
You can be ace and want sex for various reasons while still not having attraction.
If you're scared to speak up about protecting trans kids because you're afraid it will turn more conservative people off to your work or ruin your social media platform, know that those people were never going to accept you anyway. Stop protecting the powerful and be an ally.
LGBTQIA+ lives are worth more than your popularity in the cool Christians club. They are worth more than marketing criteria. They are worth more than bylines. They are worth more than your follower count.
And if that's not true for you, reevaluate your priorities.
"But I'm doing important work in other areas and they won't listen to me if I am honest with them/talk about LGBTQIA+ issues"
Then your work is already incomplete and not the whole truth. It's time to fix that.
I just cannot imagine an affirming theology that isn't based on joy and celebration of the beauty of God's diverse creation. If it isn't, we can't really call it affirmation. Queer joy is revolutionary. It is a wholehearted rejection of shame and embracing the goodness of God.
By the grace of the goodness of God, we were made queer, intentionally and for a purpose, to show the depth and breadth and height of God's love. It is so far beyond our finite binaries and boxes. It is an embracing love, an invitation and commission and benediction love.
You were made with Great Love, joy pouring over your being, and God-Three-In-One delights (delights!) over you with singing. The way you were made, the life to which you were called, the way you love and inhabit and express your Createdness is your part in God's stunning rainbow.
Asexuality is not the same as celibacy. Lots of asexual people do have sex. Asexuality is about attraction, not behavior.
I am also celibate. I consider this a calling in the sense that God made me sex-averse intentionally and for a reason.
Not all asexual people are averse.
My understanding of this vocation is different from those who typically get the microphone in regards to celibacy, talking about a traditional understanding of what gay people must do with their sexuality to be "orthodox."
I'm Side A. How does this work?
Celibacy should be for those who are personally called to it. It should not be in any way related to your orientation. Straight, bi, pan, queer, ace, gay, whatever... you can be called to celibacy.
Important: This also has nothing to do with anyone else. It's you and only you.
What resources would you recommend for defending that affirming theology is "biblical," defeating the clobber verses, doing queer theology and hermeneutics well, proving that you can be creedal/"orthodox" and affirming, etc.? (Books good, but especially here for free websites)
I know this is not our favorite thing, because often it's empathy, story, proximity, and relationship that change hearts, but I'm making a new blog post and have already gotten some great recs! Just want to open this up to the community as well.
(Anyone saying there are no such resources will be blocked. We suffer no trolls here, and you can do your own homework.)