Thread by @alinasato

I was charge nurse in our PICU yesterday and I’m still recovering.

I’m trying to remember that all the hustle and good we can do counts, for every patient we can care for.

But I’m still trying to shake the overwhelming distress connected to the role of #pedsICU charge rn. /1

Tight bed space, even tighter nurse and respiratory therapist staffing.

If a patient needs ICU care and we can’t take them, it’s distressing to deny admission.

If I can do the pressured coordination to transfer one out and hustle one in, I know my staff are exhausted. /2

But we have to do it and I have to push it, no matter how fried I know any individual might be. I want to support them, give them breathing room, but I…have so little to offer.

I bring chips in case people need comfort food to quickly refuel. I brew coffee, make it strong.

/3

If I try to create breathing room with transfer/admits, I’m always anxious I might make the wrong judgment call, prioritize something the wrong way to a patient’s detriment. But I have so many factors to consider and the math never adds up. I pray for wisdom and mercy. /4

And I know this is just the beginning of RSV / flu season and possibly another COVID wave. This isn’t going to let up soon. I worry about my staff, myself.

And even then, we had a pt teetering, code cart open just in case. And more calls for admits kept coming. /5

Everyone is pulled every which way.

I just want to take care of the patients who need it. I want to take care of our staff. I want to take care of myself.

And if I’m honest, I’m just really distressed because I’m not…sure…how.

I pray for wisdom. Mercy. Reprieve.

/fin