Thread by @ChrisStantis

Time to list my favorite human bones, starting with
right talus
A thread 🧵1/206

Left talus
(I'm predictable) 2/206

Sphenoid
3/206

Ethmoid
(good swirly boi)
4/206

Left tibia
5/206

Right tibia
(how long can I keep up this bit? Do I need a spreadsheet to keep track)
6/206

Vomer
7/206

Left calcaneous
8/206

Axis
(You know what you did right calcaneus you're not welcome in the top ten)
9/206

Xyphoid process, if you count sternum as three bones to reach 206

10/206

Manubrium, fun to say and fun to fit with ribs and sternum
11/206

Cuboids, they're adorable
(12 and 13/206)

Right calcaneus, begrudgingly, is 14/206

Naviculars aren't much on their own, but they make tiny hats for the talus. They earn places 15 and 16 out of 206

Clavicles: fun and low maintenance like a lot of my friends 17 and 18 out of 206

Scapulae: graceful, yet frustratingly fragile. Like my ego.
19 and 20/206

Occipital, strong and solid.
21/206

Stapes, the best ossicles. I will brook no malleus defenders here.
22 and 23/206

Ulnae, because their proximal anterior area looks like a funny lopsided face.
24 and 25 /206

C7, for the knowledge that it's the one you can easily palpate on yourself or another living human (with consent)
26/206

Mandible, you goofy lil bastard. I love pulling teeth from you for science.
27/206

Atlas, a legend named after a legend. I can hold you like you have lil handles
28/206

Cuneiforms, named because of their wedge-like shapes (just like the written language with wedge shaped impressions)
When you hold these three chunky babies and they all fit perfectly it's 🤌
29-34/206

I rank a lot of bones based on how fun it is to hold them in my hands/lay them on a table
But zygomatics hold high regard because good cheekbones look ✨ great✨ on living humans.
That I call this subgroup "living humans" is healthy and not worthy of introspection
35-36/206

Hip bones, innominates, os coxae, pelvic bones: these bones pick up and drop names like your high maintenance friend goes through men. And we love them for it.
37-38/206

Sacrum is fun to make the full circle with the two innominates if you have them. The shape and size of that pelvic opening can inform the biological sex of the skeleton, as well
39/206

First rib. She's funny. She's stouter than her friends. She's sturdy. She's everything I want to be.
40-41/206

Maxillae, begrudgingly. They're fragile, molar roots tend to hold more tightly to this bone compared to the mandibular teeth. But I need them.
42-43/206

Radii seem complicated and difficult to me, and then I realize they're actually quite low maintenance.
44-45/206

I'm going to have to lump C3-C6 together, though I adore their petiteness. The transverse foramina give me the same joy that I get when I see tiny food
46-50/206

Lumbar 1-5: heckin chonkers who often show osteophytes and arthritis. Schmorls nodes are also delightful so I should acknowledge L1-5 for clearly presenting these
51-55/206

Free ribs, aka floating ribs aka the eleventh and twelfth ribs are often easy to identify and fun to side left or right.
56-59/206

Frontal bone: love some orbital ridges and a strong brow ridge. Only sad ours isn't strong enough to support horns
60/206

Temporals: the petrous portion is amazing for ancient DNA preservation. And stylus processes, which often snap off in cemeteries, are very please to see. Pointy bois.
61-62/206

Femurs: huge, recognizable, big star presence for artists needing to imbue "skeleton-ness" to an artwork. The himbos of the bones.
Also easy to saw into to take a sample.
63-64/250

Humerus
hard to break, but good samples for #isotopes of long bones. Somewhat comforting tofit the ulna in the olecranan process and move it around. 65-66/206

Scaphoid
Okay, I was reticent to even acknowledge hand bones until we hit the 100s because of my hatred, but this lil guy looks like a snail and who can stay mad at a snail?
67-68/206

okay if we're allowing hand bones, capitates look like Darth Vader and that's fun too. FINE #NotAllHandBones

69-70/206

Parietals. Easy to identify, helps complete the calavaria. But honestly we're starting to hit the forgettable bones.
71-72/206

First manual distal phalanges (the ends of your thumbs). Wide. Flat. Huge. Like a certain gator we love. 73-74/206

Thoracic vertebrae. They're...vertebrae? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Not as fun as cervical with their transverse foramen or distinct atlas/axis, not as chonky as lumbar. Nothing nice to say, nothing mean 75-86/206

Patellae. Robust enough you find them often in relative completeness, osteophytic growth makes them look like bony Gandalfs. Common enough that I'll never call my parents about them.
87-88/206

Coccyx. Honestly forgot you were even part of the spine. Lose you most of the time AND you're a variable number so I'm never sure if I'm missing pieces. No scientific value in human bioarchaeological research to my knowledge.
89-92/206

Lunates. You'd think I'd like cute lil moon bones more, but they're also hand bones so I'm not ready to forgive.
93-94/206

Incus. I want to like the ossicles more because they're cute when you're looking at them in person. But drawn up? They look like starspawn babies and I'm not here for eldritch bones.
95-96/206

Whoever said the malleus looks like a hammer was drunk af. This is a cursed seedling. 97-98/206

Palantine bones. I have nothing to say to you. I've never met anyone who gives them a second thought, and I don't want to. I assume they're as boring as these bones.
99-100/206

Hyoid. I probably should have placed you higher. But to be honest, I forgot you existed. Love finding you though, even if I'm always tempted to break you like a wishbone!
101/206

Pisiform. No other sesamoid gets a name, what makes you so special? Just because you're always around? The participation trophy of osteo-anatomy I guess. At least you're easy to identify.
102-103/206

First pedal phalanx (the end of your big toe). It's big. It's easy. I have nothing to say to it and that's fine, tbh
104-105/206

First metatarsals and first metacarpals. When I start wading into the weeds of identifying hands and feet, I put these triumphantly in their spots. Then I'm sad to realize that I have to move to the next.
106-110/206

Nasal bones. You sure uhhhh make the center of the face??! You're very fragile though and I don't have time for that.
111-112/206

Lacrimal bones. The most emo of bones.
113-114/206

Metatarsals 2-5. Not *that* hard to line up, but I find the 3rd and 4th especially slow to side and I just have better uses of my time.

115-122/206

I HAVE BEEN INFORMED THE SACRUM IS FOUR BONES SO I APPARENTLY NEED SOME FILLER HERE. I'm mad at the sacrum for embarrassing me. 123-125/206

I'm hitting the point of bones that I only want to deride, but a quick moment of leniency for the body of the sternum. I had only mentioned manubrium and xyphoid process, and the body has a place too. Specifically, between the two I like better.
126/206

Non-floating, non-first ribs. They're satisfying to side, great for sampling for isotopes, easy to ID. But if you need to number them, may the Lord have mercy on your soul.
127-145/206

Inferior nasal conchae. I'm going to be honest, I wasn't sure you existed. I usually put you in the spenoid bag if you're disarticulated. Does that hurt your feelings, you little baby? 146-147/206

Metacarpals 2-5, I view you with nothing but disdain. You're not aesthetically pleasing, you're not fun to side or match. There's nothing about you I like other than the weary satisfaction of an unpleasant task finished.
We'll never be friends.
148-157/206

Proximal phalanges, manual and pedal. Fun to roll in your hands (you can id whether it's hand or foot phlanges this way) but that's about it. I'm better off throwing them randomly than trying to side/number them, I have no patience for this.

158-177/206

UGH intermediate phlanges. Why did we evolve such nimble limbs! Why can't we just have hooves. No phlanges to ID, and no Twitter platform to type this endless bit onto.
178-185/206

DISTAL PHLANGES ARE AWFUL. They're pretty much impossible to ID except for the first- which are rated higher- half the time they're lost and the other half of the time they're boring. Leprosy's about the most fun thing about them and how often do you have that?
186-193/206

Fibula. Cost me many points in my master's osteology class as I kept turning the little bastards every which way trying to side them. Barely even load bearing. We need to fuse them with our tibia like horses STAT.
194-195/206

Hamate.
OKAY the hook is actually cute and it should probably be ranked higher. 196-197/206

I have been informed that the innominate is actually three bones in a trenchcoat, and that changes my counting system. 197-200/206

The REST of the carpals. Here we are, we've done it lads. The bones I hate the most. I won't even deign to pretend I care to differentiate between: triquetrals, trapezia, and trapezoids...

Don't give me cutesy acronyms about your sex life or tell me stories about "oh once you see how they articulate" NO I'll NEVER see how they articulate I'll hate them forever. They are the WORST BONES and I rank them the lowest of the filth. 203-206/206