Thread by @DannyGroner

In late 2008 when I didn't have a job, I went to a daytime talk show taping in the middle of the afternoon because it was free and would take my mind off. Since the demographic there was mostly women, I was a clear target for the warm-up comedian when I wanted to be invisible. 1/

He asked what my job was, and I tried to deflect by saying, "Writer." He asked who I write for. I was caught off-guard. I was at that time writing for nobody. It was the recession. Few jobs available, and the ones that were didn't go to me. I felt I'd be unemployed forever.

2/

I replied, "I'd prefer not to say." I didn't mean to throw mystery into the mix. Really, I wanted to be left alone. This was the opposite of the way I saw my day going. I was embarrassed on behalf of the person I was with, who knew a producer for the show and gave us tickets.

3/

Over the course of the next few hours, whenever the warm-up comedian returned, he referenced the writer in the crowd who didn't wish to tell him where he worked. It got some laughs. I was very, very small that day. I couldn't just run away. I was 25, I was a guest. So I sat.

4/

I don't blame the warm-up comedian for doing his job, trying to find material to talk through live. I bet, in hindsight, his job and my job at that time were similar in construction, similar in lacking much hope. Had we met under other circumstances, we'd have much in common.

5/

I know that many people are currently experiencing that same shame when they go places, meet people, and are asked what they do and where they do it. The goal is not to avoid the subject altogether; it's to be sensitive to the times out there and what's happening internally.

6/

I tell every job seeker based on my own experiences when I've been out of work on three occasions (once fired, twice my own doing) that the goal is not to allow yourself to drift into an "I don't want to talk about it" space. It's devastating to wake up and go to sleep there.

7/

With 50,000-plus tech workers out of work this season, it's difficult for me to focus on anything other than to look to lift them up however I can. Some of my advice has to do with networking, a lot of it more to remind them that they are still great despite circumstances.

8/

If I could go back to that audience, I wouldn't have said "Writer." I could have said another profession that would have sufficed and kept me and my feelings at that moment protected. I was too raw to be called upon. I should have played a character. How warm-up comedians do.

9/

Being a writer at that time was a dream more than a reality, and it was something that required tremendous sacrifice to actually achieve the following year(s). By 28, I opted to leave that identity behind in the name of other pursuits that served my mental health better.

10/

It's not that we should tune out other people's voices or opinions, it's that we must take care of ourselves in good times and tougher ones. I've developed over time better coping mechanisms that I employ, especially when I am feeling raw or broken. And I'm a writer again.

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