Thread by @jinpeili

CCTV FOLLIES 12.14 Morning in the motherland

-Where'd Xi go?
-Canned news covers up Covid catastrophe
-Enthusiasm for Xi's "new era" spreads like a virus
-More news fresh from the archives.
-Sing the "spirit of the 20th"
-Finally, a Covid update: it's all about optimization

You know something's wrong when the top news story is straight from the archives:

Stock photos of sunrises, rainbows, scenic shots, abundant supermarkets.

Happy people snapping selfies, another sunrise, a tall building reflects the clouds, a jet in the sky...

Worried yet?

CCTV has got your covered. Nothing more calming and reassuring to the troubled revolutionary soul than to review dated archival pics of the paramount leader pointing at things.

Another sunrise? Or is that a sunset?

China is clean, prosperous and green, but don't just believe the pictures. Look at the chart.

Everything is so modern, ports full of plenty, factories hum with productivity, and more good trade statistics.

China's economy is like a plane taking off....

And look how happy the passengers are!

Wow.

There are bridges across rivers, rice in the field, nets full of fish, and gargantuan power lines.

And a bumper harvest to boot!

"Unswervingly carry out high quality development" in keeping with Comrade Xi's exhortations.

The only politburo member to get a newsy cameo on today's news is the outgoing Wang Yang presiding over a small, second tier meeting.

Meanwhile, the words of Xi and the spirit of the 2oth spread like a viral sensation, from picturesque courtyards to grassy fields, from Bohemian riverbanks to unmasked conclaves.

"When we heard the report of the 20th party congress we were besides ourselves with excitement!"
"20th party congress...new era...new journey."

These good folk apparently didn't get the "smile, you're on CCTV" memo.

Cow in background makes for a nice rural touch, though.

Minorities make sure to wear colorful head-dresses at pep rallies invoking the "spirit of the 20th" to show they really care, and are cared for.

"We must use the spirit of the party's 20th to guide ourselves."

People just can't stop talking about the already legendary "20th."
Even the tomatoes are in on it, getting redder all the time.

CCP-style opposition party democracy in action:
-Raise your hands in agreement (simultaneously if possible) to endorse the guidance of the 20th.
-Self-applaud the accomplishment of your meeting

Finally, near the end of a glorious program, a timely report that bears a resemblance to actual news, though it's carefully vetted.

A press conference by the "Joint Control and Prevention Mechanism of the State Council."

Judging from this image, pharmacy shelves are well-stocked.

(Desperate reports of a rush on fever medicines and empty shelves across the country suggest otherwise)

The "Joint Control" group facing the press have a difficult task. Local reporters are raising hands, even standing up to ask questions.
"There are three grades of hospital, first rank, second rank...."
"We are trying to optimize things for patients..."

It's almost like a real press conference. Local reporters have real concerns and real questions.

This scientific brief inexplicably concludes with shots of a worker spraying an empty corridor with hand sanitizer.

Optimized care everywhere...
Convenience and effective treatment...

"There's nothing to be scared about..."
"We will vanquish this disease..."

The CCP's got your back in a big way.
There are fever clinics with big signs and human assistants to help with automatic machines.
There are even cash machines for "old people."

And the case count is low, so much lower than in the US where the numbers are through the roof.

China reports only 2291 confirmed new cases in the last 24 hours.

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