Thread by @parkcooper

Okay so I started reading what people were saying about the movie BLACK ADAM and let's just say what they're saying isn't good. Dwayne (The Rock) Johnson is apparently fine but the script isn't such that he's allowed to be as charismatic as he really is. SO: (a thread) 🧵 #DCEU

Apparently the best thing is Pierce Brosnan as Dr. Fate. SPOILER ALERT:
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HE APPARENTLY DOESN'T MAKE IT TO THE END OF THE FILM

2/

So Barb and I started talking and we're like if you're going to use the Justice Society, c'mon, do Starman! Get some decent-looking 20-something-- no, wait. Start like this:

3/

Start with text at the beginning that just says: "The DC Extended Universe has many universes-- this is just one. ...This one is particularly close to ours."

(Or something like that.) AND THEN:

4/

THEN get some decent-looking 20-something who can act and stick 'im in a store. There' comic books, pop-culture memorabilia, all kinds of junk. Lots of stuff with heroes, though-- especially Superman. Oh also a poster for the (real-world) musical group BIG STAR.
5/

Okay, Brosnan, playing Kent Nelson, walks in with the helmet (this is a slightly different Earth, remember, which the comic-book fans will already understand AND the movie fans will already understand now because of Marvel) and... a curtain rod. 6/

It's a gold thing with like titanium ends.
And he's here to tell our 20-something-- whose name is Jack Knight-- that Jack's father has just recently passed away. This is news to Jack. He's been estranged. It hits him... hard, but not as hard as one might think. 7/

It'll take time to process, but it's not a "oh God no" thing. They weren't that close.
So Jack takes about 30 seconds to even process the information, explaining to Mr. Nelson that he and his father weren't that close anymore, hadn't talked in years... 8/

Jack keeps looking at the helmet and the rod, distracted. "And so... you were a friend of dad's?" "Yes." Mr. Nelson is very sure about that. 
"And... you came here... to tell me-- in person? That's--" "I came here to give you-- your legacy." 9/

And Mr. Nelson puts the curtain rod on the glass counter between them. ...And Jack looks at it. And at Mr. Nelson (and his shiny shiny gold helmet). And at the rod again. Now Mr. Nelson again. "...It's a curtain rod." 10/

"Curtain rods don't have big red buttons in the middle." Okay, a super-observant viewer noticed that already maybe, but now the camera zooms in and obliges a bit, there it is, a red round button almost as wide as the rod itself. 11/

Jack reaches forward and pushes it-- "Oh yeah, what is that, is it for--"
ZAP, the second he touches the button, it changes and like 5 or 6 super-high-tech things suddenly are stickin' out of the rod. Mr. Nelson nods. "It wouldn't have done that for me. Only for you, Jack." 12/

"...And why the hell is that?"

"Because your father was Starman."

Jack tries to process. "...The guy with the fin on his head?"

"The guy with the fin on his head."

"...I am NOT the guy with the fin on his head."

"Starman's legacy is now yours, Jack." 13/

"I will NEVER be the guy with the fin on his head."

"You don't have to be." Mr. Nelson gestures at the rod. "This is all that's important." 14/

Jack: "So wait... if my father was Starman... and you're a friend of--"

Nelson puts on the helmet, and his other clothes transform into a costume of blue and gold. He speaks: his voice has gone super spooky and echoey.

"I am Dr. Fate." 15/

Jack tries to process THIS and is about to speak when Fate says: "--Your father was murdered." 16/

And that's when we get into some JSA villain has come back for revenge. Johnny Sorrow? I don't care who. Someone powerful. So the JSA is here to onboard Jack and show him the ropes because this villain will come for him too. 16/

The point is, a lot of the movie is going to be the JSA training Jack. How about, say... Lorenzo Lamas as Wildcat, Mark Harmon as Jay Garrick (Golden Age Flash), Lynda Carter as a Golden Age Wonder Woman?
17/

If we can't get Lynda Carter for some reason, how about, say, Vanessa Williams (or someone?) as Golden Age Wonder Woman, except it's clear she's technically Nubia. 18/

Wildcat: "Nubia here--"

She cuts him off: "--Do NOT call me that, I used that name for TWO WEEKS at first until Man's World made such a fuss about it. You call me Wonder Woman, or you regret it."

19/

Barb also wants Rick Moranis as Doll Man (stuck at about eight inches high, but boy is he handy for sneaking into places).
20/

I figure they stopped fighting crime around 1959 but they also all got involved in a magic thing that made them age at barely half speed after that.

Tag line: "Sometimes the coolest thing in the world is hanging out with your father's old friends."

21/

GA Flash: You've got to take this more seriously--" Runs off at super-speed--

Jack, muttering: "Okay Boomer--"

ZOOM! He's back, and behind Jack: "--I heard that."

Jack: "GAH! Stop doing that!"

GA Flash: "No."

22/

Jack: "Doesn't it ever strike you guys as a-- I mean, you're fighting violence with more violence?"
Wildcat: "Yer overthinking it. Patton told me once, before a battle: 'See a Nazi? Punch a Nazi.'" (leaves room, sticks head back in doorway): "Those words saved my life that day."

Wildcat always walks around with a stogie in his mouth-- unlit. "My doc said I had to stop smoking. Not Fate, a real doc."

24/

Jack of course, like the STARMAN comics, settles for carrying the Cosmic Rod, with a leather jacket for keeping warm when he flies, tinted goggles to protect his eyes from wind and Cosmic Energy flare, and a t-shirt with a big star on it.
25/

Do this a little like that movie RED that came out years back with the old badasses.

26/

Basically DC/Warner's should love this: this isn't like the Vertigo stuff, STARMAN was just straight work-for-hire, no legal problems, they own it outright (sadly, but oh well, it should help it get made at least). Tell the suits it's a "Boomer-vs-Zoomer superhero comedy." 27/27.

And that's when we get into some JSA villain has come back for revenge. Johnny Sorrow? I don't care who. Someone powerful. So the JSA is here to onboard Jack and show him the ropes because this villain will come for him too. 17/

The point is, a lot of the movie is going to be the JSA training Jack. How about, say... Lorenzo Lamas as Wildcat, Mark Harmon as Jay Garrick (Golden Age Flash), Lynda Carter as a Golden Age Wonder Woman?
18/

If we can't get Lynda Carter for some reason, how about, say, Vanessa Williams (or someone?) as Golden Age Wonder Woman, except it's clear she's technically Nubia. 19/

Wildcat: "Nubia here--"

She cuts him off: "--Do NOT call me that, I used that name for TWO WEEKS at first until Man's World made such a fuss about it. You call me Wonder Woman, or you will regret it."

20/

Barb also wants Rick Moranis as Doll Man (stuck at about eight inches high, but boy is he handy for sneaking into places).
21/

I figure they stopped fighting crime around 1959 but they also all got involved in a magic thing that made them age at barely half speed after that.

Tag line: "Sometimes the coolest thing in the world is hanging out with your father's old friends."

22/

GA Flash: You've got to take this more seriously--" Runs off at super-speed--

Jack, muttering: "Okay Boomer--"

ZOOM! He's back, and behind Jack: "--I heard that."

Jack: "GAH! Stop doing that!"

GA Flash: "No."

23/

Jack: "Doesn't it ever strike you guys as a-- I mean, you're fighting violence with more violence?"

Wildcat: "Yer overthinking it. Patton told me once, before a battle: 'See a Nazi? Punch a Nazi.'" (leaves room, sticks head back in doorway): "Those words saved my life that day."

Wildcat always walks around with a stogie in his mouth-- unlit. "My doc said I had to stop smoking. Not Fate, a real doc."

25/

Jack of course, like the STARMAN comics, settles for carrying the Cosmic Rod, with a leather jacket for keeping warm when he flies, tinted goggles to protect his eyes from wind and Cosmic Energy flare, and a t-shirt with a big star on it.
26/

Do this a little like that movie RED that came out years back with the old badasses.

27/

Basically DC/Warner's should love this: this isn't like the Vertigo stuff, STARMAN was just straight work-for-hire, no legal problems, they own it outright (sadly, but oh well, it should help it get made at least). Tell the suits it's a "Boomer-vs-Zoomer superhero comedy." 28/28

@threadreaderapp unroll

Hey Mastodon friends, sorry this cut off at 15-- here's the whole thread:

https://twitter.com/parkcooper/status/1604532095438790657