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yatharth ⍼ (unhinged era) Profile picture
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Dec 31, 2022 • 8 tweets • 2 min read
codependency is mutually installing programs in each other so you don’t leave
there seems to be a form of choosing each other that does not involve fear, shame, and guilt, and it’s frankly kinda new
“what if love wasn’t about survival tho”
“what if love wasn’t about your intrinsic connection to love tho”
“what if love wasn’t about confirming existence tho”
what would it be about though?

oh-
love could nurture those things

but the loss of one specific connection wouldn’t 𝘮𝘦𝘢𝘯 losing those things forever..
it would mean losing them for a bit. from one person

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More from @AskYatharth

yatharth ⍼ (unhinged era) Profile picture
Dec 31, 2022
i liked it when i didn’t have to be with my feelings every morning in such excruciating intimacy. why did god give me this challenge. well time to meet the moment and swim in it
it’s scary to be met by the next wave of feeling. sometimes it’s the kind of feelings i told myself i wouldn’t feel at all. it’s also the thing that helps more than anything else
it also helps the feelings can be private. no one need to know, and they can be only for me
Read 7 tweets
yatharth ⍼ (unhinged era) Profile picture
Dec 30, 2022
it’s tough to believe people like you for the you that you are when you don’t like yourself very much
you begin to look for other explanations, you think it’s because of this, or that, because their actions are causing 𝘩𝘶𝘳𝘵 and dissonance in you and you want it to stop
i have ruined many beautiful things this way
Read 5 tweets
yatharth ⍼ (unhinged era) Profile picture
Dec 30, 2022
the most anguishing part of jealous was that no one would care. they wouldn’t care, and i wouldn’t care…

i’d ignore/hide/consider threatening/dismiss. anything but take it seriously
“do i still have to do that?” that is the question. to look at my environment. to look at myself and my resources. to look at the other person. “do i still need to do that?”
the answer is increasingly “no.” keep an eye on it, keep a check in it, because i still haven’t built enough trust i’ll respond to it, but otherwise—it wants nothing from this moment. it just wants to know i’ll respond to it as and when i need to
Read 8 tweets
yatharth ⍼ (unhinged era) Profile picture
Dec 30, 2022
the way out of a codependent relationship with your parents is not to try to change their behaviour. it’s to put more distance between you and them so they can keep having the feelings they’re having while you have space for yours
as i spend more time with my parents, im realising i was trying to control their reactions, because they were interfering with my mine

im realising the secret is to not try to to control their behaviour, to make them stop doing my triggers, but rather to *internally move away*
communication can be part of it, and their changing their behaviour can be part of it, and has been — but 𝘪 𝘤𝘢𝘯𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘧𝘶𝘴𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘧𝘳𝘦𝘦𝘥𝘰𝘮 𝘪 𝘴𝘦𝘦𝘬
Read 7 tweets
yatharth ⍼ (unhinged era) Profile picture
Dec 29, 2022
“Here is the one commandment.

Care about your partner. Care about how they’re feeling. Keep track of what they like and don’t like. Try to keep doing the things they like; try to stop doing the things they don’t like.” Image
“If you can do these things, your relationship will not explode. If you can’t do these things, [it will]… The relationship will be deeper and better if you have good sex, good communication, etc—but none of these can override the one commandment.” Caring.
“To accept the burden of caring about the arbitrary, capricious desires of your partner is is to infringe on your own 𝘧𝘳𝘦𝘦𝘥𝘰𝘮.” Wasn’t it…? Image
Read 16 tweets
yatharth ⍼ (unhinged era) Profile picture
Dec 29, 2022
sometimes i feel confused why i’m jealous. it feels confusing. it reminds me of feeling equally confused when people expected me to be jealous and i wasn’t

in this situation, there are actually two things to pay attention to. the jealousy and the confusion
hi confusion. i see you. what do you think? what do you want? *happy wiggles*

hi jealousy. i see you. i know you. we’ve become friends over the last month
previous me would have simply been the confusion and not asked it what it wants and how old it was

a lot of mental confusions are just that: feelings, that you don’t have to be, you can ask them what they want, and they’re often really happy you asked
Read 5 tweets

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