1987. I’m 15. The cool, older lad by ours tells me about “this house music we’re all dancing” to.
He gives me a tape. I like it.
But there’s no change in culture. You still have to wear a shirt and tie to get in a club.
1988
I first encounter “acid house” on youth TV show, Network 7.
I dismiss it as “shit”.
Then I hear “Big Fun” in Wigan Pier.
Start wearing a smiley badge to sixth-form college.
1989
Acid house is “out” – and ‘house’ house is back.
It’s still a minority music. So:
Saturday: greased-back hair, blazer, 501s – punch in the face.
Monday: House at Palm Court, Southport. No punch in the face.
Buy “nan’s curtains” T-shirt.
1990
House becomes “bleepy”.
Quadrant Park – where we all had our 18ths – “goes house”
Meet my first “rave guru” – a big lad from Barrow-In-Furness in a poncho.
Buy ticket to see LFO live. They don’t turn up.
1991 (Pt 1)
Raves are “out”.
And clubs are “in”.
I – a student in a Duffer Of St George top – go to “Balearic network” parties where they play Italian house.
And Outlander’s “Vamp” – the only hardcore record we’re allowed to like.
1991 (Pt 2)
Italian “scream-ups” are declared “cheesy”.
They’re replaced by:
“Dubby (ie boring) records with bongos
“Garage” tunes beloved of serious young men (called “Phil” or “Russell”) who know too much about suburban New Jersey clubs.
Everyone wears Destroy/Michiko.
1992
“Teds” de-camp from mega-raves to Balearic clubs.
Progressive house – as named by Mixmag’s Dom Phillips – is the soundtrack of the year.
Vocals are banished. Everything is Leftfield.
Men start wearing silver trousers.
1993
Clubs with names like “Taste”, “Bliss’ and “Milkshake Tabernacle” open in one-horse towns around the UK.
DJs all play the same terrible “uplifting progressive house” they’ve all been sent by promo agencies.
One record has a bagpipe solo in it.
1994
I play to 1,600 people at High Spirits every fortnight.
Six years after acid, the culture has transformed the UK
Stanley Tucci is the best-dressed man on telly. Why? Because he dresses like the best-dressed people on earth: Italian pensioners. Here's how he does it…
His key item is the unstructured Italian jacket. Forget the traditional English shape, Stan goes for a "Neopolititan" soft shoulder that sits beautifully on the body. A silhouette that's both smarter and more casual: and which looks great with jeans (unlike regular suit jackets).
Stan is a one-colour man – and that colour is blue. When it gets chilly, he layers a blue polo shirt under a blue jumper – and a blue padded gilet over the top. He'll then bring white, grey or beige in to add contrast. But not too much, obviously.