Thread by @unamadremas21

This is the testimony of a mother @Maria_Nojoke . I think everyone should read it. #NoToSelfID

1/ Perhaps what I am going to say will block my account, and I apologise in advance if I offend someone, but I think it is necessary to express it and for people to know what families are going through.

2/ If you have a son who is mentally ill, drug addict, psychotic... or a daughter who is anorexic, or harms herself, or has suicidal impulses, the suffering is enormous. But there is a whole structure of doctors, psychologists, psychiatrists, detoxification centers...

3/ ...your family, friends, neighbours, even the parish priest, if you are a believer, the greengrocer, the fishmonger, a brother-in-law... everyone who knows about your problem will feel sorry for you and will offer help and support.

4/ However, no matter what history of mental illness your daughter has, when she says she is trans, all doors will close for you. The doctors will tell you that you have lost a daughter and gained a son or vice versa: it is her life and you have to help her to be happy.

5/ The psychologists will affirm and explain to you that rejection is transphobia, "the same thing that happened with gays 20 or 30 years ago" (?). Psychiatrists, if they're up to date, will tell you that they think she's probably not trans...

6/ ...but that kids have the right to make their own mistakes (will they say the same to suicidal and anorexics?). Someone will offer to treat you, so you can open your mind and accept the new situation, and medicate until you get it.

7/Family, neighbours, friends, the greengrocer and even the parish priest will tell you: hey, there are worse things, cheer up, you have to support her, help her, it's great that she spoke up, you have to be happy, it's good news that she can be who she wants to be...

8/ Everyone will remain impassive, nobody will help you and you will not be able to do anything, while you see how that creature that you have given birth to, loved, seen grow and known, is suddenly caught by the whirlwind of this cult, and rushes into self destruction.

9/ You will witness how your daughter grows a beard, acne, lose her hair and change her voice, and your son's hips widen and suddenly he has more tits than you, while everyone around you will repeat that this is the most wonderful thing that could happen to you.

10/You will observe each new change with indescribable horror, fear and pain, while everyone around you will insist on normalizing it. You won't have anyone to talk to. You won't be able to tell anyone what you feel. Above all, you won’t be able to tell your child what you feel

11/ Don't even let her/him notice you, for fear that she/he will become even more radical. You will fear the day her/his name changes in those civil registry documents, the name that you gave her/him with so much love, that name by which you called her/him for so many years.

12/ But the biggest fear of all, true terror, the one that so many mothers and fathers suffer every day: your daughter receives the call from the plastic surgery clinic, your son summoned to La Paz, or he is flying to an exotic country to get surgery.

13/ In a very short time I have met hundreds of mothers and fathers in this situation. Someday we will be able to speak publicly about our pain, our trauma, our fear. The sleepless nights, the desire to get out of the way and avoid living that terrifying future.

14/ To all of you who have wondered how human beings were able to normalize the horror of the concentration camps, the annihilation of their neighbours, the destruction of so many innocent people: here you have your answer. One day you will see this in documentaries.

15/ As Viktor Frankl said: they have taken everything from us, but our dignity. Even if we are silenced, we can choose what to think. What is happening is inhuman: it is up to you to have the courage to challenge the hegemonic thought.