Thread by @KKalvaitis

We've got time for one last #Ninjanuary movie.

So let's go out on a high note.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1990)

We open on some very nice B Roll of NYC (the movie itself was mostly shot in North Carolina) with some exposition from lovely TV Reporter April O'Neil covering an organized crime spree.

Yeah.

Yeah...

These aren't ordinary thieves.

They're super stealthy thieves.

It's ninjas.

In case you haven't caught on yet.

April witnesses the gang robbing her news van, and this is how you adapt a character's look.

Yellow coat, red/auburn hair, news reporter.

Boom. Instantly recognizable April O'Neil. You can change outfits from there since the audience has already made that instant connection.

April is saved from Sam Rockwell by pure comic book magic. The lights go out and seconds later the bad guys are all tied up.

But April finds a clue from her mysterious savior(s): A sai.

If you were an eight year old in the theater, this moment blew your mind.

Costumes courtesy of Jim Henson's production company (made shortly before he died).

Raphael swearing was even more edgy.

"Damn" was a swear word in 1990 if you were a kid.

Not just costumes and puppets from Henson's crew, but also puppeteer and voice actor Kevin "Elmo" Clash as Splinter.

The movie's a hybrid of the comic and cartoon, but the Turtles transfer to live action well.

Leo's got to balance his enthusiasm with the responsibility of leadership

Raph's a hothead who gets obsessive about the little things

Mikey's the goof

Donatello's Mikey's enabler

Donny's also thinking some big thinks about the future.

Words I've lived by ever since.

Hell yeah, Critters.

Perfect intro for Casey Jones.

Sporting goods. Mask. Somewhat unhinged sense of justice.

It doesn't matter that he loses the mask soon, your brain established the connection.

And a nice bit of character for Raph. He's the angry one, but he's also got a level of restraint that Casey doesn't have, despite them being similar in their directness.

And Casey's kinda nuts.

The bantz are on fire in this fight.

See?

The best explanation of cricket.

Now all of New York knows you're a salty loser, Raph.

April's boss's son is a young punk who's involved with the thieves.

Judith Hoag's great in this. Shame she wasn't in the sequels.

Doing the "Oh he just like me. He just like me FR" meme 30 years early.

April mentions rumors of a "Foot Clan" that the Chief of Police denies and we get our first badass glimpse of the Shredder.

Good solid 7-8 on the Angry Police Captain scale.

April gets cornered alone by the Foot Clan, who deliver a message and solve the riddle of the sound of one hand clapping.

April tries to use the sai, but being untrained, is completely outclassed, but luckily gets saved by Raph, who is kind of the de facto main character of the movie.

He takes her to the only safe haven he knows.

The Turtle Lair.

Mikey is THIRSTY

April wakes up and reacts as would be expected in the circumstances, and we get an excuse to lay out the Splinter and the turtles' origins (Daredevil not included) for the benefit of the parents in the audience.

As a kid, I never realized how hard Mikey was going in the paint to impress her.

While the turtles were out with April, their place was ransacked and Splinter taken. Raph, presumably knowing that he led the Foot there by accident, takes it badly.

They crash at April's place since they've got nowhere else to go.

The Gen X/Baby Boomer disconnect.

ANY kid in 1990 would've wanted to go to this arcade.

We used to be a country. A proper country.

Thanks, Sam Rockwell.

The Foot Clan is using this modern Garden of Earthly Delights to take kids disaffected by bad parenting and given a sense of freedom, community and purpose and get funneled into becoming loyal fanatics for the organization.

Ha ha, but that never happens in real life.

In 2023, Shredder would be a Manosphere grifter.

Of course Danny rats out the Turtles to impress the Foot.

And of course he's wearing a Sid Vicious shirt, because he's so wrapped up in this fake identity/lifestyle because his father failed him as a parent and he's got nothing else to guide him.

The writing *gets it*

And after a fairly tense argument, a hit of comedy before fighty time.

A LOT happens. Casey spots Raph venting on the roof and getting bushwhacked by the Foot, while April shows the guys around an antique store.

The crew wisely knew to keep the camera locked in place so you could see the damn martial arts.

THEMES!

Time to destroy the set.

And it keeps escalating.

And ESCALATING

But the Turtles use the confusion of the fire to escape.

Meanwhile, April gets fired by her douchebag boss via answering machine.

Danny has second thoughts after witnessing the fire and Splinter starts working his magic on the troubled kid.

Anyway, its time for the farm sequence, which is one of the best in the movie.

Tons of character development at play, including good ol' fashioned romantic tension.

Donny and Casey bond over gearhead stuff and arguing TV trivia.

Leo gets hit in the face with the full burden of leadership.

Koteas is so damn enjoyable.

ACTION MOVIE MONTAGE

The movie knows its absurd and leans into it.

Casey and April have a quiet romantic moment and then two turtles come into the kitchen looking for wax.

And it plays it completely matter-of-fact.

The mundane stuff is just as good as the action.

Yes its ninja magic bullshit, but its in service to the theme of fatherhood at play in the movie.

When their dad tells them he loves them, Raph, the angry one, experiences pure joy while Mikey, the joker, allows himself to be serious for a moment and cry.

It's like poetry, it rhymes.

lol

They're really nice storyboards.

Donny/Mikey is a really good comedy dynamic.

They all float down there, Georgie.

Casey decided to stop fighting it and accept his new reality.

This is a way better Casey than the show's Dirty Harry joke (though its an incredible one-note joke)

Fighting on a rooftop in a big city, in proud Ninja movie tradition.

Oh yeah, this is the first time they've met the villain of the movie.

The line of dialogue that took Splinter from "wise master" to "Real G"

And then Casey with one of the greatest line deliveries of all time.

Danny gives back 20 bucks he stole from April back at the beginning of the movie and reunites with his dad, who has been worried about him (off camera).

April also renegotiates her job back for a higher salary since she's sitting on a major scoop.

Hey Eastman and Laird reference.

And like all good adventures, there's a kiss.

Cowabunga it is.

Roll credits.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles rode that miraculous wave of high quality late 80s/early 90s comic/pulp adaptations like Dick Tracy, The Rocketeer, The Shadow and The Phantom.

It hits on all cylinders.

Director Steve Barron has a pedigree of directing a bunch of 80s music videos as well as several episodes of Jim Henson's The Storyteller, which served him well on this movie (and helped with getting Henson to agree to do effects work). The Turtle costumes still look great.

The dark lighting in a lot of scenes was probably to compensate/cover up weaknesses in the costumes, but in motion they look great for martial arts sequences. The mouth mechanics have probably aged the most, but they still look REAL because they're real costumes on a real set.

The script by Bobby Herbeck and a subsequent page one rewrite by Todd W. Langen juggles an ensemble cast, only three of which are human, mixes broad comedy with deeper themes and romance, and keeps it kid friendly without being idiotic.

Not perfect, but damn close.

The movie's got something for everyone, and while I love the 88 show, this movie is probably the best realization of TMNT outside of Eastman & Laird's comics.

10/10