Thread by @merykristmas2

#SakuAtsuWeek2023
@sktsweek
Day 5 — “Are you jealous?”
Angst & Drunk Aro!Omi

“Come on Kiyoomi, help me out a little here.” Atsumu grunts, struggling to walk into the room with the weight of Sakusa dropped over his shoulder.

After knocking over a book off the shelf and almost falling over it, they finally make it to the bed and Sakusa drops face down into the mattress, moaning pitifully into it. He drank way more than he usually does, too much,

and Atsumu has been pretending he doesn’t know it’s because of him.

Now he helps Kiyoomi settle on his back, tucks him in as the taller man unintelligibly slurs under his breath. Placing a glass of water and some pain killers on the bedside table,

a basin by Sakusa’s bed is as far as Atsumu can help him, he couldn’t sleep over. Not anymore.

“Alright.” He gives one last look to the bedroom, hands on his hips. “Ya should be okay, just get some sleep now. I’ll check on ya in the mornin’—“

It’s really no surprise when Kiyoomi reaches out to him, circling his wrist before he can take another step towards the door.

“Stay?” He asks.

Ah, the familiar feeling of tears pricking his eyes.

“I better go back to the party, they’ll wonder where—“

“Are you going back to see him?”

Confusion erupts all over the blond’s face, “Who?”

“Suna.” Kiyoomi spits.

Weirdly enough, hearing Sakusa talk about his best friend that way is what makes him snap.

“Are you jealous right now? Seriously?”

Kiyoomi lets go of him at the harsh tone, fingers slowly slipping away to fall onto the covers.

“You— God Kiyoomi, I can’t fucking believe ya.” He chuckles, but it sounds quite hysterical. “Ya don’t get to be jealous after ya reject me, what’s /wrong/ with ya?” Kiyoomi flinches,

averts his half-lidded eyes. “This ain’t fucking fair.”

“It’s not—“

“No, no,” He shakes his head. “just shut up Kiyoomi.” He can’t do this again. “I already told ya how I felt about ya, it took a lot of guts fer me to say it, ya fucking know that. And what did ya do?”

His teammate keeps his eyes away but Atsumu can see them shining.

“Ya told me ya didn’t love me back.” Whispering doesn’t soften the blow. “Did that change in the past two weeks?”

He /hates/ himself, absolutely despises his stupid brain for hoping maybe Kiyoomi miraculously changed his mind when he was so sure of his words last month.

“No.” Sakusa confirms, but he sounds so small.

“So ya don’t get to act all jealous and needy now, okay?

I’m more than done with yer bullshit honest—“

“You don’t even call me Omi anymore.”

It was said so low, so rushed, Kiyoomi halfway choking on a sob, that Atsumu almost missed it.

But he didn’t, and he freezes where he stands as Sakusa opens his quivering lips again.

“I—I didn’t know this would happen.” Oh god, was Kiyoomi /crying/? “I didn’t know that saying I didn’t love you back meant you’d— you’d avoid me and push me away like this. I know what I said was—“ He bites his lip. “But why did you have to—”

Atsumu was going to be sick.

In years together, he’s never seen Kiyoomi like this. His friend has his eyes lost on his hands fisting the sheets, the tears fat and unstoppable as they pool on his chin. His whole body is shaking.

“I’m sorry, okay?” Kiyoomi sniffles,

looking up just a second to catch the blond’s eyes. “Atsumu, I’m so sorry, you know that, r-right?”

Atsumu knows what it feels to get kicked in the guts, but this is even worse. He has no idea what to do to make it better,

he was barely holding on when he thought Kiyoomi was doing okay, but seeing him break somehow shattered his heart even more than the rejection did.

“I—I didn’t know not loving you back meant you’d stop l-loving me.”

He can’t speak, he wants this to stop,

god he needs this to stop right now.

“I wish I loved you, I wanna love you so bad but I— I can’t. I care about you /so much/ Atsumu, you make my days better and I /never/ want to lose you but I can’t lie to you, I don’t—” He rubs his hand harshly under his eyes,

wet cheeks so red. “ I don’t /know/ what’s wrong with me, I wish I did, trust me, b-but I don’t and I hate i-it—“

And then he’s choking, gasping in air faster than his body can process, he’s panicking, hands trembling and Atsumu doesn’t know if it’s the right thing to do,

but he has no other choice than to step forward.

As soon as the setter reaches out for him, Kiyoomi launches onto his arm, hands gripping tightly onto his shirt.

“I’m so sorry.” He keeps repeating, even as Atsumu shushes him and begs him to please calm down, to please breathe. “Atsumu, I’m so sorry.”

Soon it becomes impossible to tell whose tears are falling onto Atsumu’s hand.

//fin

:) dont hate me pls