Thread by @jinpeili

CCTV FOLLIES 2.20 The man in the off-white shirt

Ever wonder why the fields are so green?
Ever wonder why the skyscrapers are so tall?
Ever wonder what a perfect foreign policy looks like?
Ever wonder why China's idea of win-win is for the US to lose?
CCTV has your back.

It's all because of the slightly hefty man in the off-white shirt.
He points, people listen.
He shakes hands, people bask in the glow.

Farmers can't get enough of Xi's earthy expert advice.
Local cadre are nourished by photo-ops with the big guy in the off-white shirt.

Xi shook my hand! Did you get a picture of us together? It was so amazing...

"Thanks to, ah, the Chairman's close attention, hundreds of millions of Chinese have, ah, food to eat."

Meeting THE CHAIRMAN in person can change a man's life.
Just ask this dude with the cool straw hat and red chin string.
Suddenly, the grass grows greener. The fields are more fertile.
It's indescribable! It's an altered state!

Perhaps you haven't seen the latest jottings of the world's most prolific freelance writer?

(True, China has had to ban some books, but it makes more room for HIS books)

Xi doesn't just understand the countryside, down to the last grain of rice, he grasps the essence of cities!

Scientists!
Stop what you are doing and clap your hands.
His eminence is here. Clap louder!
Did you know the Chairman is proficient in advanced particle physics, molecular chemistry, super-computer design, and Covid control?
He's brilliant, he's victorious.

"Before the Chairman left, he enjoined us to do better and better..."

He makes rice grow. He makes skyscrapers soar. He has the gold touch. He has the green touch.
What can't the man do? (if man is man enough a word for one who always mans up?)

In other news, Xi is the master diplomat and galaxy brain who carefully aligned China's foreign policy and CCTV's editorial line into a strongly pro-Putin corner.

If there's ever peace in Ukraine, (Zelensky is still waiting for Xi to return his call) you can be sure that China's wise, benevolent chairman will get full credit.

Meanwhile, let's air some more Russian footage and toe the Kremlin line as per practice in CCTV news broadcasts.

The Nord Stream story resonates profoundly in the corridors of power in both Beijing and Moscow.

Yankee muckraker Seymour Hersh has given the gift that keeps on giving, with CCTV giving it daily coverage a dozen days running now.

The shy and reclusive Hersh has yet to acquiesce to CCTV's request for an interview but they run his clips, and, meanwhile, here's Jimmy Dore!

"For many years the US has been extremely concerned about close cooperation between Germany and Russia, like Nord Stream, for example."

Haven't gotten enough of that Nord Stream story? Let's hear it again, this time with an Irish accent. Dublin publican and former property developer Mick Wallace
is a member of the EU Parliament
"Nord Stream must be investigated; it is simply unacceptable..."

"...As the illustrious American journalist Seymour Hersh pointed out, the US did it," says Mick.
"It's nothing less than a terror attack on Europe"

"Oh, this kind of behavior from the US is nothing new. I've seen the US do 'Nord Streams' before. Take my country, Nicaragua, for example...

In other news, the Belt and Road is getting longer.
CCTV has done a documentary, of course.

The Belt and Road winds through forests...
It traverses continents...
It includes Angkor Wat (price of admission not included)
It includes laowai trying to learn Chinese, the most difficult language in the world...

China sure is a happy place!
If you take the Belt and Road the other way, it will bring you back to the garden...

The USA, on the other hand, is a big toxic waste dump

But Americans are rising up against their pro-Ukraine war-mongering government, gathering in this massive DC protest to shout: Diplomacy Not War!
CCTV? Wow. Never been on TV before...hmm

"The US takes economic advantage!"
"It's like, always destructive, like an invading power."

In an earthquake update, CCTV quotes Syria saying word-for-word what CCTV said a few days ago:
"The West politicizes humanitarian aid"

Meanwhile, Kiev-loving UK is mired in strikes. And they can't get a break from CCTV, and won't get one, until they adopt a more pro-PRC policy.

CCTV shows its smokin' hot news chops and studious neutrality with this incisive bit of international relations theory.

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