Another #parentview101 with suicide TW: “Reading about terrible comments and practices with children in school, reminded me of a meeting with the head of the exam board recently.” 1/
2/ “My YP has a chronic disease and finds it so hard to be in school due to poor health. I wanted reassurance that they could help put something in place to support them in their GCSES.”
3/ “The lady proudly told me that they'd had a young person commit suicide last year but they'd managed to go on his course work to give his family his predicted grades.”
4/ “How is that helpful, why didn't anyone seem to care that he'd done that, and I'm sure his family would have much rather him still be here.
I still can't comprehend that that story was supposed to make me worry less.
What goes through their minds..?”
5/ Square Peg is calling for compassion-focussed practice in all schools & systems around schools. By rooting trauma-informed training across all systems, we can turn these ships around. With TI awareness, these types of conversations simply won’t happen.
6/ But it’s more than that. Attainment is not more important than a person’s life. What do good grades matter if that YP has ended their life? Surely we value our YP for more than the results they posthumously produce?
7/ Social mobility in my area is measured on GCSE results. Sit with that for a while and understand the gravity of that pressure & consequences of that focus. Our kids are #morethanascore and we urgently need those in power to see that.
8/ Our kids are in deep distress and showing us daily. We can do better than this. We must do better than this. The legacy and burdens are incalculable.
My kids’ primary school had ‘The Blue Room’. It was 7ft square. Bare. Blue walls. A high letterbox window and a lock on the door. None of the children wanted to go in there. If the door was open you’d see them naturally skirt as far away as they could. 1/
I went in once. It smelt of fear and urine. It was colder than the rest of the school. Every sense in me told me to bolt. I was 42yrs old. I didn’t fully know at the time what this room was for, but I knew it wasn’t a happy space. 2/
My kid had told me they’d had a learning intervention in there and they couldn’t concentrate as they knew the other uses the room had. I was volunteering one day and heard a kid banging on the door to be let out. Two members of staff were leaning up against the door. 3/
Received a message from a parent whose 12 yr old attempted suicide today, first day back from half term. Huge row over attendance. EWO beating down door. Kid fled. Turned up at sch, put into isolation, attempted suicide. Parent called to pick up. Told to go to A&E as CAMHS issue.
At what point are we going to JOIN THE DOTS. Action - reaction. Cause - effect. Sanctions - consequences. Madness has to stop. What are we doing to parents and children? These are the roots of placing children at risk of country lines, family breakdown, truancy, exclusion, CAMHS.
“School staff expressed concern that parents were sometimes not sharing information about their children's difficulties at a sufficiently early stage. Parents, on the other hand, described feeling judged or dismissed by school staff.” bpspsychub.onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/bj…
“School non-attendance was perceived by the majority of professionals to be a matter of parental choice. Professionals were aware that children might find it difficult to get ready for school, but felt that parents needed to stand their ground.”
A parent has shared a school attendance update: “To help parents decide whether they should allow their child a day off school when poorly, the NHS has
produced guidance on common illnesses.” 1/
“This guidance is available via NHS - 'Is my child too ill for school?' webpage and underpins our decision on whether the
reason provided for absence is to be authorised.” 2/
“The NHS message is quite clear - it is ok to the allow a child or young person to go to school with some common or minor illnesses.
Common colds, minor coughs, sore throats or headaches alone do not mean they are too unwell to attend school.”
3/
We disagree criminalising any family is the appropriate mechanism for upholding right to access education. We see & have lived how it plays out.
Separating children from parents’ decision making is fraught with problems. If a child is at risk of serious harm (negligence or abuse), s.47 mechanisms may be enacted. In systems where criminal penalties & enforcement are end point, culture & practice reflect these principles.
"...a recent report highlighted the problems they have in accessing services. It described support services as “buckling under pressure”, leaving children “ricocheting around services” which are “over-medicalised, bureaucratic, unresponsive, outdated & siloed”.
"Services are organised by diagnosis, but medical psychiatric diagnoses are not a perfect science even for adults, let alone for developing children and adolescents, whose stress responses are subject to change."
"A child who struggles to concentrate and is feeling pressure about schoolwork, for example, may on some days feel sad and low and on others anxious and worried, and may use both self-harming and not eating as strategies to cope."