Before #BlackHistoryMonth is over, here’s a bit of #BlackHerstory: It's 1988. Dangle earrings & massive wigs have me in a chokehold. I’d recently become the 1st black woman to win an Emmy for Best Supporting Actress in a Comedy so I took my sister, Brenda, to Paris to celebrate. 
We were walking in front of the Arc de Triomphe on a gorgeous day and Brenda was being an unbelievable drag. She was begging me to go to Versailles and I couldn’t think of anything that sounded more BORING.
“Go by yourself,” I said. “I don’t need to be bothered with you.” 💅🏾
“Go by yourself,” I said. “I don’t need to be bothered with you.” 💅🏾
Well, THAT set her off! She shouted: “You think ‘cause you’re a big Hollywood star you don’t need to act like a decent person or show a goddamn ounce of consideration for somebody else!”
Then she reached out, tore my wig off, and ran away with it.
Then she reached out, tore my wig off, and ran away with it.
I cursed her up and down, child. I shouted after her, but it was too late. I was standing there, alone, no wig, my hair all a mess, right in front of the Arc de Fucking Triomphe. Mortified.
At my hotel, I changed my flight home so I wouldn’t have to fly with her, then I didn’t speak to her for an entire year. But her words stuck with me.
I started watching myself, noticing how I was acting, and I realized she was right. 😕
I started watching myself, noticing how I was acting, and I realized she was right. 😕
I was a black girl in Hollywood, navigating a unique position alone. Cosby had won an Emmy. Robert Guillaume won. Isabel Sanford and Gail Fisherhad too.
There were only four people on Earth who knew what I felt like, and I didn’t have their phone numbers.
I went off the rails.
There were only four people on Earth who knew what I felt like, and I didn’t have their phone numbers.
I went off the rails.
If I had a support system of black women who shared similar experiences or provided a sense of belonging, I might’ve navigated my situation differently.
But I’m grateful I had another black woman, my sister, to hold me accountable for harmful behavior and a conceited attitude.
But I’m grateful I had another black woman, my sister, to hold me accountable for harmful behavior and a conceited attitude.
Black women, we have a long history of collective action and community building. Whether it’s organizing against racial discrimination and economic disparities, or as simple as helping someone get their ego in check.
We have to keep looking out for each other because our collective strength is what’s going to raise us up, individually and as a community.
Now, go check on your sis. 💋
Now, go check on your sis. 💋
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