Thread by @SoozUK

🧵THE WORST FASHIONS OF THE Y2K ERA

BRAS WITH CLEAR STRAPS: Whoa it looks like you aren’t even WEARING a bra! Ultimate goal when wearing strappy tops (ONE SET OF STRAPS ONLY AT ALL TIMES IN Y2K) Invisible straps don’t catch the light like a MIRROR at all PS enjoy your sweat rash

POINTY-HEM TOPS: I GUESS they’re meant to look like bandanas (?) but I don’t know…why. And…if they’re made of hot pink lycra with faux snakeskin panels…also why PS I miss my Tammy Girl hot pink lycra pointy-hem snakeskin-panel top so much.

SUPER LOW-RISE JEANS: Tight in the thigh, wide in the shin, low in the…crotch. They flatter not one part of the body, you have to spend all day pulling them up and if there’s no muffin top there’s hip bones. Hip bones! PS even low-rise thongs were never low enough.

1920s STYLE SATIN N LACE CAMISOLE TOPS: These boxy monstrosities (worn with appalling jeans) were polyester nightmares, one spark and you’d have gone up in flames so fast PS they were meant to look like 20s lingerie but they looked like Penguin biscuits still in their wrapper.

PLASTIC TATTOO CHOKER: Yeah it really looks like a genuine tattoo, can't believe Sinead in year 9 had a REAL NECK TATTOO no way it's a choker!? PS the lime green ones were the best coz WHOA A LIME GREEN REAL NECK TATTOO!

TORN FILTHY WET JEANS HEMS: Tread on those hems in all weathers, rip em to fuck, filth em, disgusting hems on your jeans that soak you from floor-to-mid-shin in rain and give you trench foot PS this didn’t even seem height-based, I saw the tall affected just as badly as me

THIN THIN THIN EYEBROWS: If you fashionably plucked your eyebrows a quarter of century ago I feel for you. You’re fucked now. Me? I never did it and got mocked for SUCH BROWS but now I reap the benefits PS I tried to pluck them once at 14 and it hurt so much I gave up so whatever

BUTTERFLY TOPS: Butterflies on fucking everything, often in diamante, wtf. But my ire is for those backless sequin things in the shape of a butterfly PS I wanted one and never had the guts and I still do want one even though they’re TERRIBLE. They're back!?? I'm getting one.

TROUSERS/JEANS UNDER DRESSES/SKIRTS: This one was baffling. You just looked Cher’s outfit picking app in Clueless had fucked up. I never understood what it was for PS buying the stitched-together ones was CHEATING.

CORSET TOPS: They called themselves corsets but they’re just bad vests with plastic bones, occasionally fake ribbon lacing embellishment and those terrible half-zips on the side that warp PS you WILL get stuck in one if you try it on in the Etam fitting room the horror the horror

A SMALL GEM ON A TOOTH: Get a tiny crystal glued to your tooth at a festival m8, great look, 3 weeks later swallow it in your sleep and shit it out the next day, lovely stuff PS did they rub an ulcer on the inside of your lip initially like when you first get traintrack braces?

LONG DENIM SKIRTS: If you fancy looking two parts MTV and one part Mormon then CONGRATS I guess, but they work with precisely zero footwear PS I had one and it made my arse look so flat it was practically concave (which wasn’t a crime in Y2K tbf).

KNEE-LENGTH DENIM SKIRTS: Fuck these were also terrible, what were we thinking? PS what were we THINKING?!

BELLY BARS WITH A HANGING EMBELLISHMENT: I had several of these and they they made it look like your navel was being sick PS I still love my belly button piercing and idc but it no longer has embellishments

TINY LITTLE HAIRCLIPS: What are they gonna do? Hold your hair in place? Not likely, sunshine. Also including: hair gems PS I like these and contend that they were actually good so whatever.

HOME-BLEACHED JEANS: Lay a pair of any jeans in the bath, cover them in household bleach, go in to sixth form the following day with a new look and also: stinking of bleach PS this was really good actually and I don’t think it was bad at all.

VON DUTCH: Just all of it PS yes all of it.

BARBIE IS A SLUT T-SHIRTS: Still absolutely no idea what statement these...made....but....I had two of them PS once I wrote "Barbie is a slut" on my hand at sixth form and re-inked it for over a fortnight.

If I've left any off it's probably coz I just love them and think they're good. Yes, that includes velour tracksuits in jewel tones, wear them forever, everyone. This was fun. I wanted to do a thread that wouldn't involve replies calling me an ugly paedophile so: winner.

A lot of replies saying things along the lines of "I was too fat for these" and PLEASE don't say that, bodies were never the problem, it was the Y2K fashions that were the problem.

If you have enjoyed this horrific trip down memory lane you'll enjoy #PlayStation, touring around the nation from April-July.

ALL DATES AND TICKETS: soozkempner.co.uk/copy-of-playst…

A selection of pics of me in my Y2K days. Some of the more heinous choices were thankfully never photographed I guess, this was the era before cameraphones.