Thread by @aimee_speaks

Excited for @HolSmale's keynote on masking.

"Everybody masks, but when you are neurodivergent, masking is on a different level. The mask can be incredibly heavy.. I have to change the very basis of who I am & this is exhausting. I felt like I was broken."

Powerful start #ITAKOM

Now @HolSmale shares about her memories of childhood and how it was the "last time I felt authentically happy."

She remembers the moment this began to change when noticing differences between her and her peers. Masking became apparent from high school to "fit in".

#ITAKOM

"I'm not sure a lot of neurotypical people can truly understand what it is like to be constantly critiqued, judged & disliked for who I am."

@HolSmale shares about the exhausting experiences of surviving social communication from a young age, and still does to this day.

#ITAKOM

"I learned to live & exist in a constant state of pain, but to appear as if I am absolutely fine to others"

@HolSmale discusses the pain of everyday life, hiding & suppressing stims to try and look like others.

"There is no human behaviour I haven't observed & changed"

#ITAKOM

"No matter how hard I masked, it was never enough."

@HolSmale on the challenges that ND people experience trying to "pass" in real life, and no matter how hard we try to appear "normal", others can always see through our masks.

Very (tragically) relatable to me & likely others

"People ask you to stop masking, but don't like it when you do. It is hard to unmask because it is unsafe to do so."

@HolSmale explains why a mask, whilst protective, is not always able to protect us. Not everyone can mask, it is a "privilege" for those who can mask.

#ITAKOM

"My diagnosis has made me aware of when and how I can mask. I can unmask in certain places, with certain people. I can now allow myself to stim, to pursue my interests, to not as strictly mask."

@HolSmale on the importance of diagnosis for understanding & connecting with herself