Thread by @grapefruitism

#bingjiu cw nonconsensual body mod
a/b/o where at the trial the palace master convinces luo binghe to use one of the more traditional punishments for lecherous alphas which is castration. obviously this is not performed publicly but binghe wants to be there when it happens

he watches as his shizun who was quiet and haughty at the trial struggles against the healers who have to undress him. where previously he was almost catatonic now he is livid, despite being in immortal suppressing ropes, he is struggling to get away, biting and gnashing teeth

almost like a rabid animal... one of the healers slaps him after getting bitten, the sound of the slap loud and there's blood and a red mark on his face when he turns.
"luo binghe you disgusting thankless swine" sj hisses and keeps trying to struggle away as his robes are opened

when they finally succeed though, the healers drop him in shock. sj is... not an alpha that is clear. but more importantly on his stomach there's a huge violent scar left under his bellybutton. when the hands let him go, sj hunches over and covers his shame again with his robes

lbh is in shock and asks the healers what that is. they reply that it looks like a surgery to remove his reproductive organs. a different kind of castration than what lbh had in mind. it's a hysterectomy done crudely, like the doctor had no particular care if sj lives or dies.

moreover the scarring is intentional, it was supposed to stay to remind him... the healer doesn't finish the sentence.
lbh obviously can't go through with his original punishment plan anymore. he orders sj, who is now sitting hunched over, hands protectively over his robes

to be moved to one of the highly guarded rooms near his own. his shizun, who he'd believed to be a cruel and lecherous alpha was an omega torn apart by someone else's hands.

sj curls up in the corner of the room he's brought to. his shame was shown to others now and he cannot face the world anymore. even if he escaped, everyone would know what he is, what had been done to him.

cw past noncon
the surgery had been done on him after he presented. qjl knew that qht would notice sj is being raped if he fell pregnant. so he permanently altered sj's body. even as all the other scars healed, this one had remained always...

he had thought that if he ignored it, if he never showed it to anyone else, if he pretended it wasn't there, that it would not matter. he could almost pretend he was normal. no matter if his body now didn't function properly, hormone washes irregular and insufficient.

but now it had been discovered. he'd rather they had killed him than to gloat about his pain like this. he wished they had left some sharp item in his room to let him take away the pleasure of killing him from them.

(back by popular demand)
for the next week the only people who enter sj's room are servants carrying food. sj ignores it. while he can't practice inedia like this, he can still starve and his body has enough memory of it for it to feel like a bad habit he's falling back into.

he's waiting for the other shoe to drop. one of these days the beast will appear, with some humiliating plan to punish him. there's no mirror in the room to smash and use the shards so at least he's relieved he doesn't have to face his reflection.

it feels like someone dug a hole through his skin and exposed it to the world. all the charred skin, dirt and coagulated blood is now public, for everyone to see and prove that what they thought is right, that he really is a scum and a fake.

on the last day of the week, instead of a servant, the person carrying the tray with food that day is lbh himself. it must be the hunger getting to him because it smells so appetizing he almost drools. but there's no need for more indignities.

lbh explains that he will let sj go back to cqm under one condition. he must tell mqf about the... injury and let himself be treated by him.
sj's mouth tastes like ash. so is this his grand plan? does he intend to force sj to debase himself in front of the other peaklords?

but his plan won't work. sj won't show this wound to any of his martial siblings. when he'd returned from the lingxi caves with lqg's dead body, mqf had completely forgone inspecting his health. then, on the floor of his bamboo hut, sj had an excruciating qi deviation.

he wanted to go and see mqf about it the next day but saw how the healer looked at him. they all saw him as a murderer, the same way they all saw him as a lecher and as a spoiled noble's son. what point would there be in showing what's beneath his robes?

to be laughed at in secret? to be despised and denigrated at every step no matter what he does?
sj is clear with his response: he'd rather die.
lbh looks a bit surprised but masks it well. he lays the tray of food down then and gestures for sj to come closer.

"then i must insist shizun eat at least," lbh frowns. seeing as sj is not about to start eating, he pulls out another pair of chopsticks and eats all the food as if to show it's not been messed with. in the end sj succumbs to his hunger and finishes the whole dinner, face turned.

---
lbh's plan is strange and sj can't seem to figure it out. after the first day he didn't come up with any humiliating questions or threaten to expose him. instead he'd come over every day, ignoring sj's frosty silence as he chatted and brought him food.

sj had expected him to get angry that sj didn't take the bait with returning back to cqm. he hasn't brought it up since and instead kept pestering him about paying a visit to one of the demonic healers at his palace. as if! it must be some plan to humiliate him further.

despite this he allowed, after the third day, for lbh to bring the healer in the room with him the next day just to talk. well he could always ignore one more person!
except next day instead of one of the creepy male healers he'd seen after his trial, a young female demon comes

she is from one of the lake demonic tribes and introduces herself politely. to sj's shock, lbh also leaves the room, letting him have privacy. sj still considers that he's probably listening in somehow but it makes him relax slightly to be rid of his presence.

the healer asks him a few questions and he answers reluctantly - how long ago since it had been done to him, has he ever had it looked at by a healer... she doesn't ask him to take off his clothes and show her the scar and so he remains calm.

she then starts explaining about how patients who have had their /organs/ removed like this usually have a deficit in many of the hormones that regulate moods and behaviors. they can also lead to bad spiritual pathway passages.

she explains that while there is a way to make a complete recovery (do organs grow on trees nowadays?) she cannot recommend just a transplantation as the hormone deficiency has altered his body severely. only by introducing the hormones artificially in small doses first

can the body ever be ready for a full recovery one day. at the end she hands him incense.
"if you ask the servants to light these, they will be the lowest dosage of the pheromones necessary for your body to supplement what it needs."

she leaves and when lbh comes in the room, they resume with their dinner. lbh doesn't ask about how the talk went or threaten him into lighting the incense. after the meal, he takes the dishes away and leaves sj alone to think.

---
for three days, sj decidedly ignores the incense on his table and keeps it unlit. for three days, he doesn't talk to lbh and walks around the room, picking a book up here and there. he's curious how long it will take for lbh to snap and show his real face.

on the fourth day when lbh comes in, sj is already dressed and out of bed.
"i want to go outside," he demands.
"of course," lbh smiles easily and nods towards the breakfast. "but eat first please."
sj sits down and eats his breakfast. he thinks about why lbh agreed so readily.

is it a trap? will he confront him with qiu haitang or liu mingyan's accusing words once he steps outside? will he demand something in exchange? he almost feels nervous enough to cancel the whole thing but lbh unlocks one of the doors in the back of the room

outside the day is beautiful. sj spends the day lazing about in the garden, watching the sun and flowering trees. by the end of the day he feels content almost - the constant dread he has felt since his secret has been unveiled had almost disappeared today.

in fact he's in such a good mood in the evening that when one of the servants comes in, he tells her to light the incense. he expects a strong flowery scent, something cloying and sweet but the scent is extremely subtle. he falls asleep fast and has no nightmares for once.

the next morning is the first time in ages that he's woken up by somebody else and not his own brain conjuring awful imagery in his head. the bed he's in is warm and he feels like the warmth has made its way all the way to his fingertips.

when he hears the door open, he snuggles deeper into the blankets, hiding from the world outside. his brain hasn't quite caught up and the fact that he's being held captive in someone else's home is not at the forefront of his mind. he just wants to stay comfortable for longer...

when he hears a voice near him, saying something, sj curls up even more and growls low in his throat. whoever had decided to visit laughs in surprise and backs away. only once the person leaves the room does sj slowly come to himself.
oh no... that was humiliating...

he climbs out of the bed and goes to the low table where there's still warm breakfast. he wraps himself up in an additional outer robe and eats his food with a huffy expression, mad at himself for slipping and letting someone sneak up on him like that.

it's not until later that day that lbh arrives, carrying more food. is the strategy to overbearingly coddle him to death? sj decides he's done with the games and asks lbh what he's planning right away. but instead lbh responds with another question.

"shizun, how many of the accusations against you are actually true?" lbh smiles knowingly and tilts his face. sj averts his eyes. whether they're true or not - does it ever matter?
"for example young miss qiu swore up and down that you were an alpha, that her brother told her so"

"the scar has aged quite a lot but by the looks of it, it was acquired when shizun was twelve or thirteen years old," lbh continues and his eyes get darker. "when she says you killed her brother who treated you like real family, she's not saying the truth, is she?"

sj scoffs. "she believes she is telling the truth. and i did kill him and all those other swine"
lbh nods. "after all it is common for complications to occur after such a... surgery. qi deviations in which one goes berserk are not uncommon."

"what has got you suddenly coming to my defense?" sj rolls his eyes.
but lbh continues.
"when you were accused of lechery all that was untrue as well. now that i've seen shizun's real designation i've brought in women for testimony and they all vouched for you."

"most importantly, you didn't kill liu qingge either. instead he almost killed you during his qi deviation and bled out in your arms," lbh recounts. sj is staring at him with wide eyes. how would he know this? no one else was there! not even yqy believed he was innocent.

"so really shizun, if you didn't make moves on your disciples, go whoring, kill innocent people, then the only one you truly transgressed against was me."
lbh is still smiling but his smile is greedy and obsessive.
"so what? shouldn't you let me go then?" sj asked.

"my offer still stands. if shizun wants to return to cqm, he can, as long as he undergoes treatment on qcp."
sj slams his hands on the table in front of him.
"is humiliation the only thing you want then? what is this all for?"
his cheeks are red and he's furious.

"no shizun, you misunderstand. i just want to get the shizun i deserved to have," lbh says and caresses one of sj's cheeks gently. sj slaps his hand away and stumbles back. lbh shakes his head and his eyes lose a bit of that manic glint. he excuses himself for the night.

that night sj doesn't light the incense. he slept better that night than in decades but it's not worth losing his dignity over. or whatever's left of it at this point... and he didn't even notice lbh come into his room in the morning. comfort was dangerous.

he tries to open the door to the courtyard, expecting it to be locked but it opens! he goes out and watches the night sky for a while until his body feels tired and his eyes start to close. yet when he goes to sleep, he only has restless dreams and keeps waking up shivering.

in the morning the female demon healer comes in again. she briefly examines him and explains that the effects of the incense that night were a good sign. omegas had self soothing mechanisms that came naturally but without the correct hormones they would not be triggered

the incense only allowed for the body to rediscover these natural mechanisms. when sj said that he didn't feel comfortable being so vulnerable, the healer nodded knowingly.
"we can lower the dose in these then"
later in the afternoon she brought new incense sticks.

in the evening, lbh showed up apologetically smiling with food in his hands.
"apologies to shizun for my lack of care today. i've been busy,"
sj scoffs and doesn't ask what he was busy with but he sits down and has a meal with lbh. his presence is still unnerving.

sj doesn't like other men in his space, especially knowing they're alphas. even qi-ge who used to be a safe space for him now made him uncomfortable whenever he came too close. he could only relax in the comfort of the vague scent of other omegas.

"i've been arranging some things. a disciple from qjp has asked to see you." lbh frowned.
sj shook his head. who could it be? he had no interest in talking to anyone now.
"it was nyy. i have told her you might not agree so-"
"she can visit," sj interrupted him.
(tbc)

when nyy came, she was dressed in qjp's disciple uniform and as soon as she saw him, she buckled to her knees and cried.
"shizun, this disciple is so sorry. i couldn't keep lying to a-luo, i really thought you were done for," she sobbed and clung to his robes.

sj had to force her to get back up and kept holding her by her forearms. she'd grown up pretty, far from the silly girl he'd first accepted as a disciple all those years ago. when she finally calmed down, they talked. she apologized that she couldn't follow sj's instructions.

when accusations were made she stayed silent as promised but when lbh came to investigate, she gave in and told the truth. sj was glad at least she didn't have to witness his humiliating "punishment" and only got to see him here.
when nyy was younger, sj thought she would

surely grow up to be an omega and so he sheltered her more and payed extra attention to her. but eventually she turned out to be a beta, a skilled mediator at the peak, always trying to resolve conflicts. even so, sj loved her and treated her like a treasured daughter.

after they drank tea together, sj noticed nyy's braids were askew. so he took her braids out and redid them properly as she obediently sat in front of him. once he was finished, she smiled and said she wanted to brush shizun's hair too. sj would have refused but...

...without a mirror in the room he wasn't sure if his hair looked presentable. he let nyy comb his hair gently and patiently, pinning his hair back with a blunt golden pin. as she brushed his hair, sj felt relaxed, almost like he was back at his bamboo hut.

as they chatted until evening, neither noticed a pair of gleaming red demon eyes spying from the door, jealously digging nails into his own hands.
(tbc)

that night they chat until late when nyy finally leaves. when he goes to sleep, he hesitates for a bit before calling a servant over to light the incense for him again. he falls asleep fast and doesn't wake until late morning, sun shining on his face. there's a breakfast tray

on the table with a short note from lbh he will be coming later today. sj takes a look at the bookshelf and browses through the books. there are a few medical texts about secondary genders which he ignores with a shudder and then some books about demonic flora and fauna.

he takes one about demonic poisons and sits outside in the courtyard on a small stone bench. he reads until It's almost evening and goes back into his room. almost right after lbh appears in the door, carrying food and a lacquered wooden box.

after they eat, lbh almost shyly presents the box to sj. sj opens it up reluctantly and sees a few hair ornaments, crowns and pins in the box. none of them are particularly sharp, but they look expensive. in his own hand lbh is holding a wooden comb.

"would shizun allow this one to brush his hair?" lbh asks. sj wants to shut him down but then he remembers what the alternative to playing along with him is: having to confront his martial siblings about his shame.
sj nods stiffly, not trusting his words.

as lbh approaches him and undoes his hair for the night, sj is stiff as a board, unable to move. he has always avoided men's touch. back in the ling xi caves when lqg was qi deviating sj had to fight through his instincts to not throw the brute off him as he was passing him qi.

his constitution and stress probably manifested in lqg dying anyways.
now that lbhs hands caress his hair and gently pull the comb through it, he has to suppress a shiver. he keeps waiting for the touch to turn violent, every time lbh's hand comes close to him he closes his eyes

in the complete silence of the room he can feel the rush of blood in his ears. the torture seems almost endless until finally lbh is satisfied with his work and walks around to face sj with a smile. sj can't look him in the eyes, fearing his discomfort will be too visible.

that night he sleeps with the incense on again. it's a nice dreamless sleep and next day he feels refreshed. in the evening lbh comes again and demands to brush sj's hair after dinner. sj suffers through the ordeal without complaints. this pattern repeats again and again

until the discomfort and unease of the hair brushing ceremony almost disappears. one day, as lbh finishes brushing his hair, a crazy impulse comes over sj and he grabs the comb, motioning for lbh to sit down in front of him. he is not gentle as he brushes his hair.

with his female students he had always been careful but with lbh he is only effective and fast, pulling at his hair without care as he brushes through it. he doesn't tear any of it out, only tugs on it uncomfortably like a strict step mother with her unruly child.

still, lbh doesn't complain or say a word, sitting quietly at his feet. when sj finishes and hands the comb back to lbh, he notices his face is lit up with a ridiculously satisfied expression. that night when sj goes to sleep, he unknowingly lets out a contended purr.
(tbc)

this is the end of this thread for now! but i might do a part 2 once i feel like it! to go back to the top see:

https://twitter.com/grapefruitism/status/1637795708517400576