Thread by @FracSlap

I've completely outsourced my shit-talking to anons.

It has 10x'd my productivity and allows me to talk shit at scale.

Here's how I did it👇

First, I analyzed how much time I spend dunking on anons.

This came out to roughly 5 hours per day, or $1,000 of my time.

That means that 2 days would cover the cost of two assistants in the Philippines for a month.

Hell of an arbitrage.

Once I had my assistants, I needed to come up with some standard operating procedures.

I found that most of my trash-talking had common themes, so I could come up with canned responses such as:

"Cry Harder"
"Can't whoop me tho"
"Sit down"

Great for general use.

Let's look at the first example:

A Twitter user starts a fight with me unprovoked, my assistant is on top of it hitting them with the 3 piece and a soda.

Beautiful combination of "sit down" and "cry harder"

Sometimes there are more nuanced instances where the comments are specific to the oilfield.

The responses to these are specific to the domain but generic enough to be used in many situations.

Then, of course, follow up with the "can't whoop me tho"

I have my two assistants split time between the day tour and night tour.

This allows me to have 24/7 response times from a global workforce.

Anon comments will never go unchecked.

Soon, I will be using GPT-4 to analyze my content and train the model to mimic my "voice" and recognize the sentiment of comments towards me.

Through a series of API integrations, I will have a fully automated bot that talks shit on my behalf.

Follow me 👉 @FracSlap if you want more tips on how to bully nerds on the internet.