Thread by @kalonanoetic

mo ran as the boyfriend you hire to show up at family events when you really want to piss off your parents. chu wanning who's decided he no longer wants to be huaizui's perfect adopted son and has found an ad online that says:

"I will be your father's worst nightmare."

the rift between him and huaizui has grown ever since chu wanning made it clear at age 14 that he would be following his own path. in the years following, he's felt huaizui's disappointment every time he's visited and chu wanning is close to his breaking point.

he'd been thinking about sending huaizui a strongly-worded letter explaining that he would no longer be going over for dinner, or even just not showing up any more.

he hadn't considered anything like this. but as soon as he sees it, the ad burrows itself into his head.

he's never really... had a relationship before. partially because of his naturally reclusive personality and partially because he's worried that he'd embarrass himself trying to find one. huaizui had certainly made it clear to him that he didn't want chu wanning dating.

curious about what this man thinks huaizui's "worst nightmare" would be, he checks the description. there is a list of attributes.

- 6'2, pierced ears, sleeve tattoos
- dropped out of high school
- criminal record
- terrible table manners

chu wanning's brows raise.

he keeps reading.

- will start arguments on a topic of your choice
- will make jokes about our sex life
- will talk extensively about my dreams of being a rock singer/tattoo artist/slam poet
- will suggest mid-dinner that you move in with me so we can 'live a freer lifestyle'

chu wanning has started to smile. it's so ridiculous - a strange ad, and clearly a very strange person behind it.

but he thinks if he brought this person to one of their tense, awkward dinners, huaizui might end up breaking off contact with chu wanning himself.

in a moment of deeply uncharacteristic impulsiveness, chu wanning clicks on the contact details of the ad and sends this "nightmare boyfriend" a text.

'how much would you charge for one dinner this saturday with my adopted father?'

he tries not to instantly feel regret.

the message is read after only a few seconds, and the response is quick. "nightmare boyfriend" lists a reasonable price, and when chu wanning agrees - his heart in his mouth - he asks if chu wanning has any warnings or special requests.

chu wanning considers for a moment.

'I don't want to have to talk to him after this,' he writes after a while. 'if you could make it so that he considers me a lost case, that would be ideal.'

he's aware of how pathetic that sounds, but he supposes "nightmare boyfriend" has probably faced similar situations.

'no problem,' "nightmare boyfriend" texts back. 'I'll pick you up on saturday at 6'.

chu wanning knows he's probably made a mistake. that there is no way this is going to go as he hopes it will, and he'll end up embarrassing himself.

strangely enough, however, he's excited.

saturday comes around both too slowly and too quickly. chu wanning dresses slightly better than he usually does, as for some ridiculous reason he wants to impress "nightmare boyfriend". or maybe just to look like less of a pitiful mess than he feels, paying a stranger for this.

when there's a knock on his door and he opens it, he's not quite sure what he expected to be on the other side.

perhaps a hardened criminal with facial scars, or a stringy punk-rocker with dyed hair and an attitude.

definitely not the handsome young man he finds.

"nightmare boyfriend" is quite possibly the most attractive person chu wanning has ever seen.

he's well-built and tan, with slim-fitting dark clothes that show off his tattoos. his features are sculpted, his eyes are bright and warm and - god, are those 𝘥𝘪𝘮𝘱𝘭𝘦𝘴?

chu wanning spends so long staring at him that it takes him a good fifteen seconds to realise that this unfairly handsome man is staring at him back.

"huh," the man says. "I really hope you're chu wanning or I'm going to have to change my plans for the night."

chu wanning's mind goes blank.

what?

"I - yes, I'm chu wanning," he manages. "you're..."

"your date for the night," the man says with a wide grin. yes, chu wanning confirms to himself, those are indeed dimples. "though you can call me mo ran if you want, baobei."

chu wanning can feel the heat rising to his cheeks at the pet name, and he nearly hisses a flustered reprimant at the pet name before he remembers that technically, mo ran is doing exactly what he's paying him to do.

cheesy pet names are likely part of the package.

"mo ran," chu wanning repeats, trying to pull himself together. "alright. well... thank you. for agreeing to do this."

"trust me, it's my pleasure," mo ran says, and he sounds like he means it.

chu wanning violently represses the slight flutter in his stomach.

they go to mo ran's car and begin the relatively lengthy drive through the city to huaizui's house. mo ran carries light conversation for a while, asking questions about chu wanning's job and his interest and sounding genuinely curious about chu wanning's answers.

after a time, however, he gets into the purpose of the night.

"what are your boundaries?" he asks, after chu wanning has given a little more detail on huaizui himself.

chu wanning frowns. "my boundaries?"

"y'know," mo ran says. "flirting, touching, kissing."

chu wanning's eyes widen. he had assumed mo ran wouldn't want to do any of that, considering it hadn't been offered on the ad.

"you... do that?" he asks, hesitantly.

mo ran smiles.

"not usually. but I like you, and I was thinking it wouldn't hurt to really sell it."

chu wanning isn't sure how to process the information that this is something mo ran doesn't usually offer and is only suggesting because he likes him.

"in that case, anything is fine," he says, because he has apparently taken leave of all common sense.

mo ran glances at him, surprised.

"really?" he asks, as if he hadn't expected chu wanning to say that.

chu wanning wants to disappear into the ground.

"you're the professional," he says, a little sharply. "do what you want and I'll comply."

mo ran's smile is back, and there's a quality to it that makes chu wanning feel like he's missed something.

"that's a pretty dangerous thing to say, wanning," he says.

chu wanning doesn't know how, but he's glad that the sky has begun to darken because he's blushing again.

they arrive at huaizui's house at 6:45. it's 15 minutes after they were supposed to arrive, at 6:30, so according to mo ran it's right on time.

huaizui opens the door already scowling.

"chu wanning, you - " he starts to say, before his eyes fall on mo ran.

mo ran smirks.

"you're chu wanning's dad, right? great to meet you," he drawls with remarkable insincerity.

huaizui stares at him. his eyes go from mo ran's face,to mo ran's tattoos to mo ran's hand, which rests firmly on chu wanning's waist.

"chu wanning," he says slowly. "who is this?"

chu wanning steels himself.

"this is my boyfriend, mo ran," he says, and the words taste like electricity on his tongue. "he's come for dinner tonight."

he watches multiple terrifying emotions flicker across huaizui's face in a single second and his chest tightens.

"you didn't mention you would be bringing anyone else," huaizui says, his voice ice-cold.

"oh, you can't blame him," mo ran interjects jovially. "I invited myself last-minute. after all, I've heard so much about you and I wanted to meet the man who raised my wanning."

with that sort of statement, huaizui doesn't have much choice but to send them both away or to let them both in.

begrudgingly, he opens the door.

mo ran's hand never leaves chu wanning's waist as they walk into the dining room, and chu wanning's heart is in his throat.

they sit down to eat, and what follows is the most nerve-wracking, entertaining and absurb dinner conversation chu wanning has ever observed.

it doesn't take long before huaizui launches into an interrogation of mo ran, asking him questions that mo ran responds to with glee.

"how did you and chu wanning meet?"

"at a bar. I thought he was a man who'd cheated me and I tried to fight him, but he talked me down. I fell in love as soon as I sobered up."

"do you work?"

"oh, on occasion. work is so restricting and I like to live in the moment."

"do your parents live in the city?"

"well, I've only met my dad once and I have no idea where he is, and my mom's been dead since I was a kid. but I did live at a brothel for a while, and that's in the city. I still visit sometimes."

chu wanning has no idea how much of what he says about himself is the truth and how much of it is a lie, but he says it with such smooth confidence that it sounds believable no matter how outlandish it is. he can tell huaizui is struggling not to believe it.

apart from answering questions, mo ran is taking every possible opportunity to touch chu wanning. he has one arm slung over the back of chu wanning's chair as he eats and his knuckles glide over chu wanning's upper arm in an affectionate, repetitive motion.

it's like a scene from the comedic play that xue zhengyong once made chu wanning attend a few years back. mo ran is relaxed and amiable as he gives the most ludicrous answers to every question huaizui asks and pretends not to notice how furious huaizui is becoming.

for his part, chu wanning barely says a word. he's mainly occupied with watching huaizui's reactions, trying not to smile when mo ran says something particularly outrageous, and trying not to think about the way that mo ran's proximity is making him feel.

there is something so engaging about him. he's funny, he's quick-witted and he's utterly fearless in the face of chu wanning's adoptive father. he is like someone that chu wanning might have dreamt up when he was younger and still believed he was worthy of love.

it is with no small amount of surprise that he realises that in this place that has made him uneasy for so long, he feels completely safe. sheltered in mo ran's aura of confidence.

he also realises that at the end of the night, it is likely he will never see mo ran again.

he doesn't want that. he knows it's selfish, knows that he's paid mo ran to help him for this one night and he shouldn't want anything more from him, but he can't help it.

he likes mo ran. he doesn't want to say goodbye to him, but he's not sure how to make him stay.

"what are your intentions with my son?" huaizui asks, and his voice is venemous enough to pull chu wanning out of his heartache.

mo ran turns to look at chu wanning. he raises the hand not around chu wanning's shoulders and gently brushes a strand of hair away from his face.

"well," he says. "I was thinking we'd take it slowly. it'll take me at least a few weeks to find a ring, and a few more to scrape together enough for the wedding, so that gives us some time to get to know each other better."

he's not looking at huaizui at all. his gaze rests firmly on chu wanning, who has frozen in place because mo ran's voice has changed.

he's a good actor, but his words have always been edged with mockery when he's talked to huaizui. that edge has disappeared, now.

chu wanning is seeing things. he is projecting his own desires onto mo ran and it's clouding his judgement, because there is no reason for mo ran to be saying things like that as if he means them.

"no," huaizui says, a seriousness to his voice that almost - but not quite - conceals his panic. "I won't allow it."

"that's why you're not invited to the wedding," mo ran says airily, but he's still looking at chu wanning with that sincerity.

with a question in his eyes.

he's not actually asking chu wanning to marry him - or at least, chu wanning doesn't think he is.

but the shift in tone and focus means something, and chu wanning doesn't know if he trusts himself enough to believe that it is what he thinks it is.

"chu wanning," huaizui says, finally giving up on mo ran. "this is ridiculous. I'm disappointed that you've brought this man to my home and I won't support you continuing a relationship with him."

chu wanning looks at the man who raised him.

"you won't?" he asks.

"I won't," huaizui says, his voice cool and authoritative. "I'm not sure what incited this childish rebelliousness, but if you plan to continue seeing him then you shouldn't visit in the future."

chu wanning's heart skips a beat.

"I see," he says.

he looks back at mo ran.

mo ran is grimacing slightly. it looks like he's wondering if he's taken things too far; if chu wanning hadn't really meant it when he said he wanted to end his relationship with his adoptive father.

"then I suppose we won't be coming back," chu wanning says.

he drops his hand to mo ran's, gripping it tightly in his own. he pulls mo ran up from his seat and mo ran follows without hesitation, his gaze fixed on chu wanning.

"thank you for the meal," chu wanning says to huaizui, whose expression has frozen. "we'll be leaving now."

"chu wanning - " huaizui starts to say, but chu wanning has already grabbed his coat and opened the door.

"there's no need to contact me in the future," he says just before he leaves. "I can hardly interact with someone who's so hostile to my fiance."

then he turns around and he walks out the door, mo ran's hand still grasped in his own.

"lovely meeting you," he hears mo ran say from behind him, and then the door slams shut with a bang.

they are left outside in the cold night air, half-running to mo ran's car.

as soon as they're inside the car, chu wanning's adrenalin-fuelled confidence begins to fade.

he'd done it. he'd broken off his relationship with huaizui and mo ran had played his part perfectly.

and chu wanning has no evidence that it was anything more than that.

it could have been. for a few moments, chu wanning was certain it was.

but mo ran was very good at his job. he was supposed to make it look like he really loved chu wanning and like they were really in a relationship.

chu wanning would look like a fool if he asked for more.

he struggles to get a grip on the misery that rises in him.

"thank you. you were - very good. exactly what I requested," he tries, looking away from mo ran. "I can send you the money tonight if you want - "

mo ran leans forward and kisses him.

chu wanning is paralysed. mo ran kisses him like he's trying to devour him, and chu wanning can only let himself be devoured.

mo ran pulls away after a time and chu wanning stares at him, stunned.

"wanted to do that all night," mo ran says.

then he kisses chu wanning again.

chu wanning stops thinking. there are no fears, no questions, no anxieties. it's all swept away by the sensation of being kissed by mo ran, and chu wanning has never felt like this before.

finally, when both of them are too breathless to continue, mo ran pulls back again.

"too early to go ring shopping, right?" he says.

/end

I don’t know if any of this is coherent folks. it is very late here and I stopped being able to read 2 hours ago.

also apologies to huaizui I have no idea whether he’d canonically approve of mo ran or not, but someone has to be the disapproving father figure