I just finished reading Trump's insane clown LOLsuit against Michael Cohen and ... honestly I'm gobsmacked.
I read Trump lawsuits for a living. That is my IRL job.
And I just ... WHAT THE EVERLOVING F---???
storage.courtlistener.com/recap/gov.usco…
I read Trump lawsuits for a living. That is my IRL job.
And I just ... WHAT THE EVERLOVING F---???
storage.courtlistener.com/recap/gov.usco…
A real lawyer put his name on it. Not even as local counsel for one of Trump's merry band of nitwit JDs.
But, nope! Total rancid word salad.
Trump's real lawyer ➡️ britopllc.com/alejandro-brit…
Dog vomit ⬇️
But, nope! Total rancid word salad.
Trump's real lawyer ➡️ britopllc.com/alejandro-brit…
Dog vomit ⬇️
Why is Miami the appropriate venue for this case?
Because you can buy Cohen's book there and download his podcast.
And maybe when Cohen was representing Trump, he flew into Miami. You know ... upon information and belief.
(FL is not the appropriate venue.)
Because you can buy Cohen's book there and download his podcast.
And maybe when Cohen was representing Trump, he flew into Miami. You know ... upon information and belief.
(FL is not the appropriate venue.)
I am suing Michael Cohen for breaching attorney-client privilege and talking smack about me, his onetime client, which is a breach of fiduciary duty.
Here are three pages of Cohen's onetime lawyer Robert Costello talking smack about him, which is totally fine.
Here are three pages of Cohen's onetime lawyer Robert Costello talking smack about him, which is totally fine.
"Individual 1" relying on Robert Mueller to dirty up Michael Cohen is A CHOICE.
Does breach of NY Rules of Professional Conduct for lawyers create a private cause of action?
The guy is already disbarred, but, hey, knock yourself out.
The guy is already disbarred, but, hey, knock yourself out.
You breached attorney-client privilege by telling dirty lies about me!
(Also, this looks uncannily like my dog.)
(Also, this looks uncannily like my dog.)
Breach of contract is when you host people who say mean things about me on your podcast.
Yes, that is the law. No, I will not be taking questions at this time.
Yes, that is the law. No, I will not be taking questions at this time.
I only including Trump saying this suit covers anything Cohen MIGHT SAY IN THE FUTURE because he made the opposite argument in the E. Jean Carroll case.
Trump repeated the Carroll defamation years later, got sued again, and claimed he was just commenting on pending litigation.
Trump repeated the Carroll defamation years later, got sued again, and claimed he was just commenting on pending litigation.
Or maybe he was doing journalism.
No, I'm not kidding. (Told you, this is my job.)
abovethelaw.com/2023/02/trump-…
No, I'm not kidding. (Told you, this is my job.)
abovethelaw.com/2023/02/trump-…
Okay, so the causes of action are #1 breach of fiduciary duty by violating NY attorney conduct rules and divulging A-C materials.
No the contract doesn't point to any specific disclosure.
Just, you know, vibes, man.
No the contract doesn't point to any specific disclosure.
Just, you know, vibes, man.
#2, breach of contract because he violated the confidentiality agreement with the Trump Org.
No, that NDA is not attached.
Yes, it has been struck down in other forums.
thedailybeast.com/donald-trumps-…
No, that NDA is not attached.
Yes, it has been struck down in other forums.
thedailybeast.com/donald-trumps-…
#3, same as #2, just wearing Groucho glasses and smoking a cigar
#4, unjust enrichment
Which is AMAZING coming from a guy who sold NFTs of himself at the White House.
Remember that time when Melania missed the Jan 6 coup because she was busy at the WH photographing the place for her coffee table book?
Which is AMAZING coming from a guy who sold NFTs of himself at the White House.
Remember that time when Melania missed the Jan 6 coup because she was busy at the WH photographing the place for her coffee table book?
#5, conversion
Okay, this is going to take some unpacking.
See, in 2015, Trump sent Cohen to rig an online poll. Cohen hired this IT guy from Liberty University and promised him $50K to do it.
But when the guy showed up asking for the money, Cohen didn't pay him in full.
Okay, this is going to take some unpacking.
See, in 2015, Trump sent Cohen to rig an online poll. Cohen hired this IT guy from Liberty University and promised him $50K to do it.
But when the guy showed up asking for the money, Cohen didn't pay him in full.
Instead he gave the guy $12-13K in cash, plus a single boxing glove he claimed had been worn by a Brazilian MMA fighter.
But he charged Trump the full $50K for it.
Don't look at me like that. I didn't make it up!
wsj.com/articles/poll-…
But he charged Trump the full $50K for it.
Don't look at me like that. I didn't make it up!
wsj.com/articles/poll-…
Astute observers will note that this passage appears to admit the allegations in the pending Bragg indictment about Trump knowingly reimbursing Cohen for rigging a candidate poll — something which was unambiguously a campaign expense.
Whoopsie daisy!
Whoopsie daisy!
Also that Trump knowingly paid Cohen to reimburse him for the tax liability and called it a retainer.
¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Whatever, it's not like DA Bragg is ever going to see this complaint, right?
The important thing is that Michael Cohen owes Trump $500 million for calling him a racist and breaching attorney client privilege by telling unspecified lies.
The important thing is that Michael Cohen owes Trump $500 million for calling him a racist and breaching attorney client privilege by telling unspecified lies.
The case was filed in the Southern District of Florida, Miami division.
(So, not Cannon or Middlebrooks.)
As yet unassigned, but ... I see one or two minor problems, whichever lucky jurist gets blessed with this $402 bag of dogsh-t.
courtlistener.com/docket/6717587…
(So, not Cannon or Middlebrooks.)
As yet unassigned, but ... I see one or two minor problems, whichever lucky jurist gets blessed with this $402 bag of dogsh-t.
courtlistener.com/docket/6717587…
And this offensively stupid case is assigned to Judge Darrin Gayles.
LOL forever.
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Darrin_P.…
LOL forever.
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Darrin_P.…
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