It doesn't take long. Falling in love with Vash - it takes next to no time.
In hindsight, that in itself should've struck him as odd. The 𝘲𝘶𝘪𝘤𝘬𝘯𝘦𝘴𝘴 of it. The 𝘦𝘢𝘴𝘦 of it.
Nick's never had any kind of luck with love. Yet Vash falls on his face while introducing
himself to Nick's team & it's love at first sigh– fuck up. It's love at first fuck up.
He comes in as their new Operations Officer. Steve's replacement. A kid. Right out of the academy.
Nick should've realized that he'd known his way around a gun too well for an unexperienced
rookie. Should've seen his stellar performance in active combat as odd. Should've noticed how easily he'd shot a guy dead - not an ounce of regret after.
He should've seen it.
He doesn't.
Vash blinds him with whispers & kisses. 𝘐 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶's & 𝘕𝘪𝘤𝘰's. So sweet & so
bright that, thinking back now, Nick isn't even sure which of their conversations were about them & which were based in espionage.
"Nico…," Vash had murmured once whilst lying on his chest.
It'd only been their third time together - mindblowing, stress-induced, desperate,
𝘥𝘦𝘴𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘢𝘵𝘦 sex, on Nick's desk at 2 AM.
He'd been looking off somewhere after - the bulletin board; at their mess of pinned photos, profiles, & loopy red threads. "Why don't we have a picture?"
Nick still remembers the paperclip in his hair. A glint of silver in those
waves of gold. He'd reached for it. Combed it out of his messy locks. Smiled, lovestruck.
"... He's camera shy." He'd mumbled back - classified intelligence spilling through him like a sieve.
"No one's really gotten a good look at him," he'd gone on, tilting back - looking at
the badly blurred & pixelated photograph at the center of their investigation board. "... No one alive anyway."
Vash had hummed. "Any guesses?" He'd asked next - playful. "On what he looks like?"
Nick had shrugged. "He's blond." He'd offered up. "Tall."
"Think he's handsome?" Vash had grinned as he'd sat up.
Nick had rolled his eyes. "I dunno' - you want him to be?"
"Hmm," Vash had tapped his chin - all animated & adorable.
"Tall," he'd started counting off on his fingers, "blond, handsome-," then he'd gasped theatrically.
"What if-," he'd dramatically splayed a hand over his chest & fluttered his lashes. "What if 𝘐'𝘮 Knives?"
He'd 𝘨𝘪𝘷𝘦𝘯 it to him. He'd fucking 𝘨𝘪𝘷𝘦𝘯 it to him on a silver platter; spoon-fed it right into his damn mouth; all but 𝘴𝘩𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘥 it down his goddamn throat.
And Nick 𝘴𝘵𝘪𝘭𝘭 hadn't seen it.
He'd just laughed it off. A quick "sure, cute stuff. I'll let everyone know we've got you in custody." And then they'd both broken up laughing. And that had been that.
Later that morning, he'd noticed his security clearance card wasn't in his
jacket pocket.
𝘐𝘵 𝘮𝘶𝘴𝘵'𝘷𝘦 𝘧𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘦𝘯 𝘰𝘶𝘵, he'd reasoned. And then he'd gotten lost in memories of Vash pushing him down onto his desk & climbing up on top of him; pulling off his clothes & kissing him, touching him, whispering to him, loving hi-
That day, 2 of the
agency's most well-secured intelligence archives had been bombed.
At the time, Vash had been with the team for all of 5 days. Nick had fallen in love with him by 3. So he misses that red flag. Entirely.
Livio didn't.
He'd brought it up a few days after the incident, while
they'd been scrambling to recover. "You think it's weird this happened like," he'd looked at Nick over the table, "as 𝘴𝘰𝘰𝘯 as he got here?"
"Who? Vash?" Nick had thought back to the idiot falling on his face his first day in. He'd snorted. "Couldn't be."
Livio had given
him a nervous smile.
"There's something off about him," he'd mumbled quietly, head down, when Nick had pried. "Something strange."
4 days later, he'd been ambushed & attacked in what was supposed to be one of the agency safehouses.
It'd been 𝘣𝘳𝘶𝘵𝘢𝘭.
He'd survived.
Hospitalized & in a coma - yes. But he'd survived.
Still, Nick hadn't made the connection. For a long time, he hadn't. He'd carried on in blissful ignorance - 2 years of it.
2 entire years of being in love with Vash.
2 entire years of odd happenstances: missing intelligence,
attacks on government facilities, odd viruses on agency databases, failed raids on mafia turfs - warehouses cleared like they'd been warned ahead of time.
It had kept going like that - disaster after disaster - on & on, with no end in sight.
Then, one night, seven months into
their 3rd years together, Vash had been in the shower.
Purely by chance, Nick had decided to get them something to eat. And purely by chance, he'd realized he'd left his wallet in his coat by the front door. And purely by chance he'd reached for the wallet in Vash's coat
instead.
He'd opened it, reached for his card, & as he'd pulled it out, he'd pulled something else out with it.
A little photo. A boy. Small. Blue-eyed. Sleek blond hair cut into the oddest little shape, all choppy.
He'd stared out of the film - up at Nick - with a
barely-there smile.
𝘝𝘢𝘴𝘩, Nick had initially thought. But then the more he'd looked at it, the more he'd realized he was wrong.
It'd been an old photo - worn & weathered. The colors may have faded as well.
But there'd been an added paleness to the boy that simply hadn't
matched Vash's vibrant golds & blues.
And then, the more Nick had thought about it, the more he'd realized how odd it'd be for a person to carry around a photo of themselves as a child.
So, "any siblings?" He'd casually worked into their next conversation.
"No." Vash had
answered, just as casually, before returning to whatever it was he’d been talking about.
Oddly, 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵'𝘴 what does it. 𝘛𝘩𝘢𝘵'𝘴 what finally sets Nick off.
It’d been too quick - that answer. No thought imbued. Too fast of a gloss over. Like he hadn’t wanted Nick to dig
any further.
He begins questioning things after that. 𝘌𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘺𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨.
He starts looking for those too-fast answers. The ones Vash has prepared; answers he’s memorized.
He finds that, rare though they may be, they’re 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦. Those answers are 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦. And the more
Nick pries, the more there are.
So the cop in him comes out. It drives him to keep prying - keep searching; keep digging his own grave - deeper & deeper into Pandora’s box.
TBC ASAP 😛
“Why do you have 2 phones?”
“Where do you go every morning after the AM report?”
“What’s that extra flash drive for?”
“Why’re you taking so many files home?”
"How do you field strip your weapons so quickly?"
"Why do you keep losing your security access card?"
"Have you always known how to fight like that?"
"Why don't you ever drink with us?"
"Why do you sleep with a gun under you pillow?"
"Where'd you learn to speak Italian?"
"Why do you always carry 3 guns in the field?"
"Why don't you ever tell me anything about your
family? Your childhood?"
And finally, after he'd finished eating him out for the third time one night - he asks, "... what's this?"
It's the tattoo. The one high, on the inside of Vash's left thigh. Small. Red. Intimate.
A little 𝒩.
Nick strokes over it, slowly.
Eating Vash out hadn't been a strategic move. But he'd realized halfway through, that it was numbing his boyfriend's brain. 𝘚𝘪𝘨𝘯𝘪𝘧𝘪𝘤𝘢𝘯𝘵𝘭𝘺.
So when Vash hadn't answered him that first time, Nick had gone down on him again. This time with strategic purpose.
He'd gone down on him & kept going. Once- 𝘵𝘸𝘪𝘤𝘦 more. Until Vash had become so oversensitized, he could no longer string together the 4 letters of Nick's name.
Then he'd fucked him - for good measure - hard & fast; waited 'til he was well & truly broken to ask again:
"what's this?" - cock still deep in his guts.
It's a first. Nick's never asked before. He'd never thought he'd need to. Vash would tell him if he'd wanted him to know; he'd 𝘵𝘳𝘶𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘥 Vash would tell him if he'd wanted him to know.
He doesn't anymore.
So he leans forward;
pushes in ever so slightly as he looks up & finds— ... 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦.
He finds 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦.
Pure, raw 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦. The kind of love described in the epics - the classics. Mythic love - the stuff of legends; the love poets still sing about - strong yet soft. Unshakable &
fond. Everlasting & eternal.
"… An-,” Vash is a 𝘸𝘳𝘦𝘤𝘬. His voice shakes so badly, Nick nearly misses it; misses him whispering, "an old mistake …"
And it's-... it's a crack. A slip-up. A peek into what lies beneath the surface.
So Nick fucks him again. And again. And
again. Until he's sobbing so hard, he loses his voice.
"No... No more," he begs. "Please-," tears spill down his cheeks. "𝘗𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘴𝘦-," he whispers. "Nai, 𝘱𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘴𝘦-," Nick looks up. "... No... more...". And then he faints.
The next morning, Nick wakes up to Vash staring
at him - one hand tucked beneath his pillow, where he keeps his gun.
It's only a matter of time after that. 7 days to be exact.
The day Livio comes out of his coma - Day #8 - is the day Vash disappears.
And if that isn’t incriminating enough, Livio’s first words to Nick
are, "only Vash knew where I was going to be that day.”
And that's it. 𝘛𝘩𝘢𝘵'𝘴 𝘪𝘵. It's over. Everything goes to shit after that.
Within the hour, Nick is slammed to the ground & handcuffed.
"Liar." The arresting agents snarl. "𝘓𝘪𝘢𝘳." They accuse. "How could you
𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘬𝘯𝘰𝘸?"
Because 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦, he would've answered if he'd been able to. 𝘐 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘪𝘯 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦, he would've said. I̶ ̶w̶a̶s̶ ̶p̶l̶a̶y̶e̶d̶.
But he can't.
If he says it - if he puts it into words, it'll become real. It'll render everything worthless. Every last smile,
hug, kiss, & touch; every last date, every last fight, every last, "𝘕𝘪𝘤𝘰," - all of it.
All of it will become… nothing.
And Nick isn't ready for that. He isn't ready to lose the 3 most precious years of his life in under a minute. Not yet.
So lies there, on the ground,
quiet; eyes closed, lashes wet.
It isn't until he hears the agents from Internal Affairs talking about investigating Vash's files, that he opens them again.
"Wait-," he turns up. "Wait, wait-!" He yells when he sees them crowding around Vash's desk to mess with his
laptop. "Wait, god dammit-! HE WAS AN 𝘐𝘛 𝘚𝘗𝘌𝘊𝘐𝘈𝘓𝘐𝘚𝘛-!"
𝘐𝘵 𝘥𝘦𝘵𝘰𝘯𝘢𝘵𝘦𝘴.
They do something - click something, move something, open something, trigger something - & it makes Vash's computer 𝘥𝘦𝘵𝘰𝘯𝘢𝘵𝘦.
Seven. Right then & there, Nick watches 7 agents
fall dead.
No chances are taken after that. The agency goes into lockdown. All entrances & exits sealed; everyone shut out of their intelligence networks, cell services, and wifi; all contact with the outside cut off - nothing in. Nothing out. They're isolated.
And Nick— Nick is an accomplice. Regardless of whether or not he'd known. So he's taken straight to the brass.
He sits there now - in the office of his boss' boss. He sits there amidst the board of directors - 24 people; all of whom are either yelling at him or at each other.
Anything that'll listen, really.
Nick doesn't hear much until it's the chairwoman speaking - a low, deceptively calm: "𝘢𝘨𝘦𝘯𝘵 𝘞𝘰𝘭𝘧𝘸𝘰𝘰𝘥."
The room quiets.
Her heels ring out as she begins to walk - staccato footsteps; sharp, solid taps against glassy marble.
𝘊𝘭𝘪𝘤𝘬-𝘤𝘭𝘢𝘤𝘬. 𝘊𝘭𝘪𝘤𝘬-𝘤𝘭𝘢𝘤𝘬. 𝘊𝘭𝘪𝘤𝘬-𝘤𝘭𝘢𝘤𝘬.
"What do you know?" She asks, coming to stand in front of him.
Nick continues staring at the floor.
"What." She repeats, fingers wrapping under his jaw now. "Do you 𝘬𝘯𝘰𝘸, agent Wolfwood?" She repeats,
jerking him up to face her.
He looks straight through her. Blank. Unthinking. Unfeeling.
"𝘈𝘯𝘴𝘸𝘦𝘳 𝘮𝘦." Her fingers dig into his skin.
"... I don't know." He finally whispers.
"You do." She insists. "You weren't his 𝘴𝘦𝘤𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘤𝘩𝘪𝘦𝘧," she hisses viciously,
because they all know it'd been more than that, "for 3 years without picking up on anything."
"I don't-," Nick's voice cracks before he can stop it. "I don't know anything-." His eyes warm.
"𝘞𝘩𝘰 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘝𝘢𝘴𝘩 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘧𝘰𝘳, 𝘞𝘰𝘭𝘧𝘸𝘰𝘰𝘥?!"
"I said, I d-!" She
draws her gun & slams its titanium barrel into his forehead.
He's going to take that stupid strobing cube up to where it won't touch a single human but will more than likely incinerate him - & Knives if Knives continues chasing him up through the stratosphere.
Suddenly nothing else exists in the universe. Nothing but Vash. Nothing else matters. Not their sisters, not mankind, not even his entire purpose. Nothing.
In that moment, all Knives can register is the fact that Vash is in trouble. And that he's in a position