becoming a single grammatical movement of "should", devoid of lexicon
what should i want?
i feel like i either have the ability to choose, or lack the ability to want what i shouldn't
of course, there's lots of answers for "what should i?" but i don't acknowledge any authority other than "mine", and it doesn't feel like i can wield authority at the moment
we're undergoing some societal decay in my civilization of one
there's a power vacuum but there's also this massive dildo on the throne i don't think anything in the world can take it
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extremely on brand for me to only explicitly notice there's a difference between finance and economics now after like a year being vaguely into ?both?
i'm so bad with the tendency to "yeah yeah i get the gist of it, don't bog me down with boring details, keep moving" i'm completely retarded about everything i'm into
i don't know how to fix that
the college structure slightly improved it but i think that even there i got away with too much