Thread by @wxyz_xicheng

#xicheng light angst

BAM!

"Sometimes I wanna tie you down and make you listen to me for hours!" LXC growls harshly. All fired up and angry.

His eyes are blazing as he gazes down JC who could barely meet his eyes. He caged him. The loud sound was his fist hitting the wall. +

He's so angry.

LXC never imagine of all people who would make him feel this raging fury would be his lover. His harsh breathing filled up the silence between them.

As seconds pass by that JC remained silent, LXC's tense body gradually loosens. His heart aches heavily. +

"What the hell is this? Why are you letting yourself believe those things?"

"Not smart enough. Could've been better." He pauses. "Not as good as Wei Wuxian, not as kind as his sister. Not good enough for me!"

JC flinched. His eyes looked back at LXC, red and teary. His voice +

a hoarse whisper. "Don't say that."

"Why not? You want to believe their bullshit, right?" LXC grits. Those words that left his mouth stabs deep inside his heart too and he knows the same for JC.

This pain, this wounds that couldn't heal and keep tearing open in JC. +

Why can't they go away?

JC shakes his head and clutches at LXC's shirt. "Don't say that." He repeats.

"Then, what? What are we going to do JC? Why are you just standing there and allowing them to tell you who you are? If you are not what they said you are, then why do you +

just shut up? Is it because you believe them? You believe their words than mine?"

LXC grabs JC's hands. Gripping them tightly against his chest.

"What is your truth? Do you really not deserve me?"

"I told you it wasn't like that!" JC bows his head, tears finally spilling +

down his cheeks. His shoulders shake as he cries.

Years of building their relationship, LXC made sure to make JC feel secure in himself and in LXC. JC never wanted to make LXC feel that they both don't deserve each other. He didn't want LXC to walk away because LXC +

gave in to believing they are not worthy of each other.

It scares him and hurts him when LXC says things like this. But this is what LXC felt now. Especially when both of them walked in on some of their colleagues gossiping about JC once again.

"Some times, I feel like +

loving you and giving you everything you wanted and deserved are not enough." LXC whispers. "Why do I still feel like we would never win against your demons."

JC sobs hearing LXC think about them like this. He went and hugged LXC. Sniffling and sobbing. He cries. "I'm sorry." +

"Me too." LXC embraces him and unable to hold back tears.

Both of them dwell in their embrace until they calm down.

"We will be better." JC said, wiping his face against LXC's shirt.

"We will."

JC pulls away and holds LXC's hand. He casts a glance at the wall then at LXC's +

knuckles that are now red.

"Let's put ice on it." JC pulls LXC toward their kitchen.

LXC threads their fingers together but before JC could go further, he stops him and pulls him close. He kisses JC's forehead. "I love you."

"I love you too."

—End