Do you know what this moment told me? It told me he knows that Callum loves him, and will support him if he falls apart or needs help, but, even in spite of that, he feels like he can't afford to fall apart/ask for help, because the risks of doing so are too great 😭 #Ballum
I think that makes it even more heartbreaking, that this isn't about him not trusting Callum to support him, it's about him feeling that he can't fall apart, he has to mask - that even though he knows Callum will be there for him, the risks from elsewhere are too high #Ballum
I mean, he allowed himself to admit he wasn't okay this week, and started to let himself fall apart, literally in Callum's arms, only for him to be immediately wrenched back to the reality of how dangerous not masking is (that he'll lose his little girl if he falls apart) #Ballum
The idea that Ben knows Callum will support him, is completely confident in how much Callum loves him and how absolutely he'd be there for him, but the wider world has made it impossible, too dangerous, for him to drop the mask and access that support - gah, it hurts 😭 #Ballum
And also speaks to a level of truth, in that it's so important to have that one person beside you, supporting you, having your back, but we don't live in a vacuum, and if the world makes it too dangerous for you not to mask, then that one person's support isn't enough #Ballum
He needs to know EVERYONE around him will have his back - he needs to feel safe and secure that he's allowed to not be okay and to fall apart - and whilst he doesn't have that (and he doesn't, they've all made themselves incredibly unsafe), the masking will continue #Ballum
The most painful fiction is painful because it hits on some sort of truth, and this hits that in a lot of places for me. It aches in my soul because it feels very real.
• • •
Missing some Tweet in this thread? You can try to
force a refresh
Sometimes I stop and think about the fact that the incel community was originally set up by a woman as a place for lonely to people who were struggling to find love to genuinely support each other (and apparently a couple who met on the site ended up getting married).
"It definitely wasn't a bunch of guys blaming women for their problems."
"The word [incel] used to mean anybody of any gender who was lonely, had never had sex or who hadn't had a relationship in a long time. But we can't call it that anymore."
Genuinely, please read about her and her original site. The points she raises about how society mocks virgins and how lonely people struggling to form loving relationships deserve help and support are so important. Fuck the modern incel movement for twisting it the way they have.
Okay, so, from my careful analysis of the scenes we did get + the spoilers we know about (and the pictures), here is my theory around what the cut scenes might have been #Ballum
My guess is that after Kathy worriedly saw Ben walking away from Jola, we got a scene where Callum came into the cafe, and Callum and Kathy discussed the fact they're both worried about Ben #Ballum
In that conversation, Callum probably decided that he was going to try and organise a curry night for the four of them, to try and get everyone back together and talking, and make Ben feel included again #Ballum
I've been doing this long enough to know that shit gets cut last minute all the damned time in soap opera, it's the inherent nature of the beast, but come on, having the pre-credits 'and now on EE' summary be about something they literally cut? That's...a new one for me #Ballum
Did they literally film the Roxy's scenes yesterday, and had the editing team frantically chucking scenes willy nilly into the recycling bin two hours before the iPlayer drop this morning in order to make it fit? I'm genuinely fascinated.
Apparently they forgot to CC the BBC Announcing Team into an email somewhere along the line.
This isn't a 'new story' for Ben, this is a continuation of the arc he's been on since January 2022. It's all the same story, and this is the culmination of it all. The ability to do this is why, when it's good, soap storytelling is utterly unmatched as a medium #Ballum
tw: rape , disordered eating
One of the first things that happened when Ben was raped was that he started refusing food. This isn't a case of 'we want to do an eating disorder storyline...ooh let's give it to Ben!'. This has clearly been planned as Ben's arc for a long time.
'But Ben already has so much trauma!'
Yes, and this isn't a new trauma. This is the culmination of all his traums. This is literally them addressing all that trauma that's happened over the years and never been addressed. They explicitly said this in the press release.
When autistic people are children, they call us 'old souls'.
But when autistic people grow up, we're told we have 'childs' minds'.
You'll say anything to excuse not treating us appropriately for our age.
You don't have to treat us like children because we're not like other children, we're 'old souls'.
You don't have to treat us like adults because we're not like other adults, we have 'child's minds'.
It's all about dehumanization and othering, and the hypocrisy and irony of it doesn't even bother you, because as long as you don't have to treat us like actual individual human people, you're good.