My hypothesis:
Humans invented hats because we were envious of the marvelous headgear in the animal world.
Let's talk about antlers, horns, ossicones & pronghorns.
#Antlers are shed & regrown every year, composed of bone that begins at a pedicle, base structure that remains after shedding. Antlers are extensions of the the skull.
Mechanism of growth similar to bone HEALING: cartilaginous tissue gives rise to bone coated in skin "velvet".
Antlers usually only form on males, with one exception: female reindeer grow shortened antlers, which may be functional for snow clearing, or challenge between females over scarce food resources.
The control of antler growth is evolutionary controlled, with phylogenetic parallels across species. In other words, the same genes work to control similar structures between say, a fallow deer and a moose.
At the end of a season, a type of cell that maintains bone, an 'osteoclast', degrades the connection between antler and skull.
Blood supply has long since been severed, so the loss is generally bloodless.
Antlers require a lot of nutrient, so tell us about health of the animal.
#Horn by contrast, is a bony extension of the skull that is covered in keratin, the same material in our fingernails.
They aren't typically shed: broken horns can be a serious injury because they're supplied by blood from a coronet structure at the base.
Horns are typically found in both male & females. Although we might think of them as "shorter" than antlers, that's not universally true.
Honorable mention is giraffid headgear: "ossicones", which are also bony extensions of the skull, but remain covered in skin throughout the animal's life.
These magnificent structures form in late gestation (so they're born with them) but don't fuse to skull until puberty.
The giraffe's cousin, the okapi, also have these ossicones, although a bit less iconic. It's not clear (to me) what function they serve.
Lastly, the oddball: pronghorns.
Found in the only surviving member of Antilocapridae, a group of New World antelope-like animals (that are not antelopes!).
They're shed annually like antlers, but covered in keratin like horns.
The Pronghorn is more closely related to modern giraffes than to African/Eurasian antelope & represents at least 11 million years of evolution from a common ancestor.
There were once 11 other antilocaprid ("antelope goats") species in North America, but only Pronghorn remains.
Let's be honest. If we could grow a giant rack of antlers, we'd all be inundated by "antler enhancement pills".
If we could grow horns, they'd offer horn extensions to women, have an elaborate industry of horn accessories.
On the whole, I think we're better off with the hats.
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Famed population geneticist RA Fisher published this paper in 1936 taking Mendel to task for either concealing, cherry-picking, or omitting parts of his study of pea genetics.
1. The segregation ratios (as in 'Mendelian ratios') are too perfect. Actual observations are modified by noise and distortion, only land on the 3:1, 1:2:1 ratios in extremely large samples sizes of ideal, perfect genetic models.
I want to talk about the Map-Territory Relation in #science & why it matters to many topics in public perception of science.
It's what I think of when people insist that 'science says there are only two genders'.
Maybe you've seen this work by René Magritte, called "The Treachery of Images". The text translates: "this is not a pipe".
It's not. It's an IMAGE of a pipe. It only resembles an actual pipe in one very specific way, from a particular angle, in 2-D.
Like this PICTURE of a pipe, a scientific model or system of classification is by nature a SIMPLIFICATION.
British statistician George Box: "Essentially, all models are wrong, but some are useful. However, the approximate nature of the model must always be borne in mind."
But the most interesting story about Benjamin Franklin I've run across is the giant pit filled with human bones that was recently (1997) found in his basement.
Really.
A giant pit of human bones. The remains of at least 28 bodies. In his basement. Cut up with a saw.
Ben Franklin lived at 36 Craven Street in London (now the 'Benjamin Franklin House & Museum').
Workers doing renovations found the bones in a buried pit in the basement, remains including those of infants.
He had a special arrangement with a friend of a friend, William Hewson, now called the "Father of Hematology" for his discovery of blood composition and fibrin.
Hewson operated an "anatomy school" in Ben Franklin's garden (back yard) where students dissected cadavers.
He had an acknowledged illegitimate son, William, who was the last British governor of New Jersey & chief Loyalist, running pro-British military operations from his base in New York.
He died in exile. But HE had an illegitimate son...
William Temple Franklin was William's illegitimate son, born while William was in law school, London.
"Temple" accompanied his GRANDFATHER Benjamin & acted as his secretary, worked on Treaty of Paris where France recognized USA.
Brief return to US, then rest of life in France.
Temple had an illegitimate son, Théodore, but he died before the age of 5, and an illegitimate daughter, Ellen Franklin Hanbury, who was raised by HER grandfather William.
Ellen married but had no children, so this particular chain of Franklin Bastards reaches its end.
This 1852 painting by William Firth depicts the moment in 1717 when English poet Alexander Pope declares his undying love to Lady Mary Wortley Montagu, and her response is a fit of laughter (brutal!).
Both characters are worth knowing in a little more depth.
Alexander Pope is best remembered for 18th century essays & poetry: "Rape of the Lock", Illiad & Odyssey translations. He coined phrases: "damn with faint praise" and "to err is human".
Spinal form of tuberculosis made him a hunchback, at full height he stood 4 ft 6 in (1.4 m).
He made enemies easily, made them the subject of satirical portrayals, as with the case of Lady Mary.
He spent most of his life striking back at her in prose for refusing his love, portraying her as vapid or immoral or of poor poetic talent.