Thread by @exy_orv

#orv #joongdok idea by @hongyubwe 

Soulmates AU where the world turns black and white when your soulmate dies—something Kdj is known for doing a lot.

https://twitter.com/hongyubwe/status/1653865889752825856

Yjh had lived through many regressions. None of them could he see color in. Shades of black and white were his life; the world was an endless canvas of these colors splattering on top of one another.

No matter where he looked, he couldn't escape them; gone were the days where he would look up at the sky idly and appreciate the various hues that made up the clouds. Before the scenarios, he would take Yma out to the park and watch the sun rise and set.

No matter where he went or how many lives he went through, he would remember this memory of before the scenarios and hold onto the past habit of his to remember what it was like to be human. To remind himself of the future he was fighting for.

Not anymore, though.

His companions—no, allies—were now in shades of black and white, their essence reduced to nothing but a sole color as though they were characters rather than living beings;

his enemies were painted in sickly, lifeless grays; his own blood—once a bright red that horrified him—was now blended in with the backdrop that made up his entire vision.

With each regression, he began welcoming these shades like the air he breathed; without a soulmate like everyone else, he would never see other colors again.

It was okay, though.

He had lost his morality regressions ago, and it was time to sacrifice more. Whatever the scenarios demanded of him, he would give. Perhaps this was his punishment, an additional add-on to his role as a regressor.

He lost his humanity throughout his regressions, as well as the vibrance of life.

Everything was dull and meaningless.

But it was fine.

He remembers seeing colors for the first time after the scenarios.

The yellows and oranges and purples that made up the sky as Yjh stood on the edge of a bridge, a salaryman's shirt in his hand.

Yjh could see the stars in the setting sky and the darkening clouds on the horizon. The splashes of colors drew a breath out of him. He had forgotten what it was like to see something beautiful. Maybe he was blessed in this regression; he hoped to savor this gift.

That wasn't all he saw, though.

The sun's glow on the salaryman in his hands—Kim Dokja, as he believed his name was—was etheral. His face seemed to shine as he was held up by Yjh, as though every star in the sky took it upon themselves to spotlight the man.

His smile was breathtaking. It was wonderful—it was everything Yjh wished for.

He let go of Kdj's shirt as he dropped him into the mouth of the ichthyosaur.

Yjh still saw color. The man was his soulmate; he wouldn't die so easily.

Kdj tested that claim a lot, though.

"Master! What did that ahjussi write in that note for you?? I read it, but I don't understand the words he wrote down!!" Ljh asked, her eyes sparking.

Yjh felt his annoyance rising. He had no idea what that idiot had told Ljh while he was unconscious, but the moment he had woken up, she had bombarded him with questions concerning their child and hadn't let the idea of them having a relationship go.

The note wasn't even interesting; Kdj had written his grocery list—in the apocalypse—on it, yet Ljh acted as though it was a secret she needed to know about. She could read Korean; how did she interpret 'buy 5 cartons of eggs' as anything but a grocery list?

"It's nothing," he grunted, and Ljh squawked in shock.

"It can't be nothing! It's a love letter!" She protested, and Yjh felt irritation flare.

Before he could tell her to drop it, though, he felt his vision petering out—no, not his vision; he could still see fine, but the world around him looked different.

He straightened, suddenly feeling sick.

He began to see the familiar shades of black and white. Gone were the blues of the structures around him, the overlays of deep purples and bluish-grays with the occasional dustings of golden yellows.

Everything around slowly drained of life; the color seeping out of it as though a god was stealing it of its essence.

What had Kdj done? There was no way the man—his companion—was dead, right? He wouldn't be so foolish to die so early.

He tightened his fists as Ljh backed away, slowly sensing his anger.

Someone was going to die today.

Kdj didn't die that time. Yjh learned of his skill that had revived him, but he knew Kdj had survived somehow when color began to seep into his vision once again.

Yjh would never admit it, but he sighed in relief seeing the whites and blacks fade away; the fool was safe.

Until he wasn't.

Yjh knew Kdj was an idiot; that was why he stopped him from his monologue about not hatching the Catastrophe of Floods. But he didn't expect Kdj to be this much of an idiot.

"Move, Joonghyuk!" 

Kdj coughed up blood, with the hole in his stomach spewing out the rest of it. 

"Dokja...?" Yjh asked, processing the scene before him; realization hit him like a stone.

"Dokja!" Yjh exclaimed as the man staggered leaning onto him.

"Dokja!" The man coughed up blood again. Yjh put his hands to support the man now on his knees, hacking up blood like a sick patient would cough.

The previously green grass was now painted in various shades of bright, unnatural scarlet reds that pooled into inky puddles of blacks.

Blacks...? Shit. 

"Hey, can you finish me off? You... always wanted to kill me."

"What are you--"

"I'll give you one minute to do it."

Yjh saw the color fading out of the corners of his eyes; it was an experience he never wanted to see again, in this regression or the next thousands.

Kdj looked into his eyes as the color from his face drained—whether from Yjh's loss of color or due to his impending death—yet he remained firm in his statement.

"No, it isn't!"

He couldn't have Kdj dying because of him. Kdj always had a plan, so how could he have gotten himself killed for a regressor? He was a prophet; hadn't he foreseen this? The blood continued to pool, turning into blacks Yjh was too familiar with Shit.

The world turned into the monochrome landscape he knew far too well.

Kdj had died.

The world turned into the monochrome landscape he knew far too well.

Kdj had died.

Yjh had learned to stop wanting, to stop wishing many regressions ago. Nothing came for free; it had to be worked for. If his allies died, he would work to ensure it wouldn't happen again, granted that they were useful in the first place.

But he wanted Kdj to come back.

He hoped, wished, and wanted so badly for Kdj to still be alive. The man was a cheater, a professional conman that even the most experienced scammers would stay away from.

Yjh hoped that this would be another time where Kdj would come back.

Whether it was for his own selfish desires to see color, because of the guilt he felt about killing him, or even because the man was his soulmate, he didn't know.

Yjh got his wish. Kdj did come back, though, and with his revival, he continued to test Yjh's lesson about not wanting with each death.

With each death, Yjh's color would fade, and he would look up at the sky as the colors turned into ink and wonder if this time Kdj wouldn't be coming back.

Yjh had said his goodbyes to many people in his life. He grew up by himself with no parents orchestrating their own funeral himself, he cut ties with many people before and during the scenarios.

He was known as a lone wolf.

In every ending of his regressions, all his companions had died before him.

Goodbyes were a staple of his life no matter which one he lived through.

But Yjh never wanted to say his goodbyes to Kdj, the man who had brightened his world and brought him out of the monotony of endless mistakes and regrets.

He brought him change, love, and hope.

Yjh would use that hope and long. Only the outer gods would know how much he longed and hoped and prayed. They knew but even they could never grasp his want.

But he prepared himself to one day say that goodbye. The one so familiar on his tongue from repeatedly saying it to everyone else.

He never wanted to say it. Not to him.

He prepared nonetheless, if only to save himself from the hurt he would experience after Kdj was gone.

-end.