Thread by @JMSofNAFO

Gather round #Fellas and let me tell you a #NAFO story of generosity and magic.
Here follows the Tale of Grumpy Man and the Glorious Medallion. 1/18

It was a bleak winter’s day in the far away frozen parts of the world. An ol' grumpy man was just about to settle down for the evening with a brew and some ranting on the bird app. 2/18

He was always angry at something it seemed and was this particular day ranting over the utilities bill that had carved a gaping hole in his monthly budget, all because of that POS хуйло́.
Grumpy man was busy dishing out expletives when suddenly he saw IT! 3/18

There it was, the most glorious medallion he had ever seen. It was auctioned off by Sarge, a veteran of the war of 1812, eye patch, wooden leg, you know the type.
The proceeds would go to a fellowship of Norman descent.
@MontayBayBay @BrigadeNormande 4/18

Grumpy man felt he had to have this wonderous medallion, but this was not the right time financially. There would be more auctions, so he threw in a low-ball bid for appearances sake, finished his beer and went to bed grumpier than ever before. 5/18

But this was a magic night.
A NAFO night.
And before it was over, Grumpy man’s bid for the glorious medallion would have multiplied. 6/18

The first of which was a nekkid Cossack bard who took petty on his grumpy fella and raised the bid (equal in coin to a certain position of sexual pleasuring) from his own funds. @CanadianKobzar 7/18

A second fella entered, fresh from the chorus of a Celtic Opera. Seeing the bard’s contribution, he decided to raise Grumpy man’s bid even further, even though they’d never met before.
He then disappeared into the night with a right minger called Isolde. @TristanDenneman 8/18

At this point the doggos had been whipped into an utter frenzy, even the auctioneer got in on the action. @LawCallCB 9/18

The last fella is a lively sprite from the dusty plains of Kansas, a spreader of kindness and love wherever she goes.
She clicked her heels three times and brought forth a very large sum before the bewildered Sarge. 10/18

Twice she did so, this beautiful fella.
Quite the looney of course.
She now claims to be the Queen of Egypt. Yeah...
@wizard_fella 11/18

As Grumpy man woke up that morning checking the bird app he couldn’t believe his eyes. His bid had been pushed over the bar and won the auction.
Grumpy man was grumpy no more. The black void that was his heart, filled with the magic generosity of these crazy fellas. 12/18

The glorious medallion was to be his.
The Normans were to receive some well needed funding.
There was great rejoicing in the realm, but our story is not quite yet to an end. 13/18

Sarge took the parcel to the Post fairies, a disgruntled lot who handles all deliveries, large or small. He gave them Not so grumpy man’s address halfway across the world and paid them in gold dust. 14/18

The fairies however, had heard of Grumpy man’s raging on the bird app and wished to teach him a lesson. They sent his medallion to Canada.
There, no one knew what it was all aboot, so they sent it back. The post fairies then continued to send it to Canada. Five times. 15/18

As winter gave way to spring, Grumpy man felt no joy. Angry thoughts came back. Vatniks and tankies suffered his rage. Would his glorious medallion ever arrive?
He wrote to Sarge who went to the fairies and gave them a damn good spanking with his wooden leg. 16/18

Finally, one day, Grumpy man walked to his local post office, received the parcel from the sweaty hands of some pimply Gen-Z tosser, brought it back to his drab home, opened it ceremoniously and gazed upon his prize. 17/18

The experience made him a less grumpy man and he often thinks of that magic night and the wonderful fellas who made it possible.
Now bugger off kids.🩷