Abra Miller 🦖 Profile picture
May 10 5 tweets 2 min read Twitter logo Read on Twitter
🧵I’m a little over half way through reading @R_Denhollander ‘s book, What Is A Girl Worth. I’ve had to take it slow. Even though I was married to my abuser and the circumstances of my assaults were very different from hers, the book has proved triggering.
But I keep reading because when she describes her feelings and responses to trauma, she mirrors mine. All those fears about coming out with the truth, trying to navigate motherhood while healing, trying to be a wife after my body was weaponized against me - it is all so familiar.
Being a survivor of s*xual abuse is complicated. Learning to live after being defiled and gaslit is incredibly challenging. Those of us who have chosen to go public haven’t done so lightly - we, perhaps more than anyone else, know what the truth costs and the price is high.
If you want to understand what the aftermath of abuse looks like, read Rachael’s book. She is putting into words what thousands (millions?) of women, men and children have endured. The church should be outraged on survivors behalf and fighting to protect them - but most don’t.
I both hate and am thankful that I’m not alone on this path to healing. It is encouraging to see another woman of faith and integrity share her experience. It helps me remember I can, too, can be strong and overcome what was meant for evil - God is still good. #PTSD #MeToo

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More from @miller_abra

Apr 2
I was speaking to one of my teenage daughters the other day who was telling me about a conflict she was having with her step mom. It comes to naturally to resist, to defend, decry and protest.
It’s times like that I have to set aside my “mama bear” instincts and put my kids well being first. I suggested my daughter respond to the conflict with kindness and generosity (I would help her with the latter).
I think it is a little funny we were having that conversation so close to #PalmSunday . People thought Jesus was going to strong arm His kingdom come - but that isn’t how God works. Those who live by the sword, die by the sword.
Read 5 tweets
Apr 1
🧵TW: abuse. #metoo #Awareness This was the last photo ever taken of my family before my divorce. We had already split up, but you wouldn’t know it to look at us. It was Easter. We went to Church, laughed, smiled & celebrated. I never took off that cardigan & nobody asked why.
About a year later my youngest came home from his dads with bruises around his neck. The marks were identical to the ones I used to hide on my arms and thighs and abdomen. I took him to the hospital to document it and they called CPS.
CPS came to my house to interview all the children separately. Afterwards, the woman sat down with me alone in my apartment living room. She praised me for being strong enough to get away from such an abusive man, she said she knew a lot of women never could find that strength.
Read 12 tweets
Nov 21, 2022
🧵Especially in recent months, I’ve seen an uptick of men claiming that their ex wives were wrong for filing for divorce against them, “she was the one who filed” is a common complaint as if who files first indicates who was most guilty.
Studies show that women are more likely to file for divorce but their reasons often point to the other party having broke the actual marriage vows. She may file when the situation gets bad enough that she cannot or will not submit to mistreatment.
We know that it takes two people to make a marriage work, but in cases of abuse, it only takes one person to destroy it.
Read 11 tweets

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