Thread by @asoditae

I’m like nasty.

Can you imagine?

This is naughty.

I’m like swoll.

*insert image of the God I’m resurrecting: the size of humanity… ohh shit, y’all meritocrats are fucked*

The more true I am to your worst nightmare of how historically significant I am to human history, the more powerful I happen to be.

Hey, whoever you are?

I’m 100.0000000000%.

Sowwy?

“Let me get this straight. The Second Coming is just secular humanism on steroids?”

Let me make it clear to you.

I’m…

Gay.

“I’m confused, He must be confusing. If he’s confusing, he must be impotent.”

Boom.

You’re dead.

I judge you.

#JudgmentDay

I’m like nasty.

Can you imagine?

This is naughty.

I’m like swoll.

*insert image of the God I’m resurrecting: the size of humanity… ohh shit, y’all anyones are fucked*

“He has no connection to any higher power whatsoever: it’s just a coincidence he’s so good with words.”

I’m either a crazy person or a future historical figure.

I’ll give you a hint:

Ya better check my coincidences.

(I literally don’t care if humanity dies. I’m just here to laugh at you as you say goodbye.)

The End is nigh.

Sigh.

Wanna at least try?

(Why?)

Cry?

Die.

Don’t worry:

(That means “the” in German.)