I've been a horror fan since I was 5 and saw Nightmare On Elm Street. My love for scary was solidified.
In Dec 1996, I came to St. Louis to visit my mom for the holiday. On NYE, we decided to see a movie and she said, "There's a new horror film called #Scream out." #areview
Cell phones were a new concept and the web was in it's infancy. There were no trailers or reviews, but I loved scary so let's do this!
What I watched in that theater BLEW. MY. MIND. A satire about scary movies that WAS a scary movie?! And it worked! It was scary as hell!
I went back home a few days later. I lived in a town that had one movie theater and it had one screen. It would play one movie at a time, for a week. If the movie was *really* good, they would leave it for 2-3 weeks.
Scream ran for 8 weeks. I saw it 5 times in total.
It took what made horror great in the 80's and spun it on it's head. It was funny, suspenseful, & clever. Back then, the deaths were not too gory, but also unique (hello, garage door scene).
It was responsible for a new era in horror. I Know What You Did Last Summer. The Craft.
Movies like Final Destination. They weren't the same formula, but they wouldn't be if Scream hadn't changed the game.
Wes Craven was a genius. When he was bad, he was. But when he was good...he changed EVERYTHING. I grieved him when he died. He brought a lot of joy to my life.
Clearly a die hard fan here. As a die hard fan, I am obligated to watch every installment, no matter how bad I think they may be. And there have been some bad ones! Scream 2 was meh. 3 was awesome. 4 was new, but unexpected. 5 was a little disappointing.
Today, I watched 6.
It was...spectacular. I'm not a *huge* fan of some of the direct references to old (it feels like pandering, like we're not smart enough to understand less direct references), all-in-all...they killed it.
I was *not* happy about a lack of Sidney and the excuse they used for it.
PAY THE WOMAN WHAT SHE IS WORTH, GODDAMN IT!
I went in skeptical for that reason alone, but it was such a good job. I was sure of one of the killers and was pretty sure about another, but I still didn't know why. It kept me guessing. I was yelling at the laptop, more than once.
I laughed out loud on multiple occasions.
Character breaks up a fight with a smile and calmly says, "Hi, yes. Excuse me for a second while I tase your balls." *tases balls*
It brought back all of the right people and gave them all of the right screen time.
I need to watch them all from the beginning. I wish Cam would watch, but she's just not ready for the scary yet.
If you're a fan, you should check it out. It's not the original, nothing ever will be. But it follows a familiar formula while still managing to be relevant & scary.
โข โข โข
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Today, I took a shower for the first time in a month. I'm ashamed and embarrassed, but I'm sharing it bc it's important.
I haven't been taking care of myself. Most days, I find it impossible. I want to. So badly. I sit and wonder all day, why? What the fuck is wrong with me?
I had my first major depressive episode when I was 19. I've endured several more since. But, I also have dysthymia, so it never really goes away for me. Even when I'm good, I'm not completely good.
Major depression is when it gets bad.
It seems that every time I have a severe episode, it gets worse. This time has been hell, to be honest.
Every time, I do the same thing. As I sink into despair, I look to the people I love and I start trying to find medical help, if I'm not already under care.
I'm feeling a little mushy. I want to give a big shout out to @vicstmichael. We met on this app. I *loved* the friendly, supportive vibe that I got from her tweets, so I DMed her. I don't remember what I said but it was something like, "I think you're cool. Wanna be friends?"
She said yes, y'all! We had SO much in common. Everything that we talked about, it was like, "OMG! Me too!!" We even have the same favorite color.
It wasn't long until we made it official and bc Facebook friends (I rarely mix FB and Twitter folk).
We started chatting on messenger and, before we knew it, we were talking every day. The last 2 years of my life have been CRAZED. I'm up, then I'm down. Crisis after crisis. Trauma after trauma. And Vic has been so fucking rock solid through ALL OF IT.
I was just talking about this last night & it was definitely reconfirmed today...
One of the WORST parts about being educated, self-aware, and advocating for/about my disorders: the beginning is full of hope that turns to frustration as time marches forward.
Here's why...๐งต
Like many, I spent my life hearing the people who were charged with my care say I was lazy, flighty, willful, defiant, and "hard to deal with." I was wrong. I was bad. I was inherently flawed as a person.
I wasn't believed when I said "I don't know," or "I don't remember."
My strengths were not valued at all and my weaknesses were over-valued. Eventually the scale tipped and I started to believe what they were saying. I no longer valued myself. They told me I didn't deserve love and I agreed.