Thread by @NatBrehmer

Today's the day. The day to finally have a marathon I've been daring myself to do for a long time: The Mighty Marvel Marathon. Sure, lots of people marathon Marvel movies these days, but NOBODY marathons these ones. I'm going back to the before times, for the ones I had pre X-MEN

First movie up in the marathon: 1977's THE AMAZING SPIDER-MAN. In the years before we had a real, big theatrical SPIDER-MAN movie, I had this baby on VHS and absolutely wore it out.

Hey kids, it's HALLOWEEN 4's Michael Pataki!

Imagine a Spider-Man with no Uncle Ben, who makes up the entire gimmick (webs, costume) while stammering to Jonah that the Spider-Man is totally real, honest. No guilty conscience just a dude who got bit and said "Hey, sure, why not."

One of my favorite things about this show (accidental, I'm absolutely sure) is that every single time Aunt May appeared she was played by a different actor.

Hallway fight!

Listen, as an adaptation of the comic, it plays it fast and loose. But as a TV movie about the fascination with self-help gurus stealing heaps of money, with wild stunt work because when we web swing we're literally tossing a stuntman between actual skyscrapers, shit kinda rocks.

In general, the series at its best was basically "what if Kolchak was Spider-Man?" and deserves a DVD release for that reason alone.

Movie #2 of the Mighty Marvel Marathon: TRIAL OF THE INCREDIBLE HULK. People made fun of this Daredevil suit for years and years until the Netflix show came along and said "Listen up you fucking idiots"

Directed by Bixby himself, this is far and away the best of the Hulk TV movies. Intentional or not, there are themes I can't help but notice and subtext so strong it's basically text, about two men who are different, hiding part of if not all of themselves, who find each other.

The dream sequence of Hulk going berserk in court, which is just in there to have at least some kind of trial in the movie, hilariously goes on forever. It's the standout Hulk smash of the whole thing and yet it is unbearably slow.

With how SPIDER-MAN and HULK barely took anything from the comics, all the Daredevil stuff here is shockingly accurate. His dad, the accident, it's even got Turk, and the villain is the Kingpin. Of course, John Ryhs Davies' sunglasses at night Fisk takes some liberties.

Something I never would have picked up on having not seen this in probably 15 years, but they absolutely just re-used the main theme to HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME.

Moving onto movie #3: Albert Pyun's CAPTAIN AMERICA. I used to rent this one all the time from my local video store when I was little.

This movie has Melinda Dillon AND Darren McGavin, it's a Christmas miracle.

I think one of the larger issues with this movie is that the 10 minutes it spends with Cap in the '40s going against a Red Skull who's a decaying horror monster, with fights torn from an old serial, is kinda what you want the whole movie to be.

It's absolute perfection that after the Red Skull undergoes plastic surgery and decides to make his way as a normal everyday business fascist he takes the alias DeSantis.

One genuinely fantastic moment I've never forgotten even though I haven't seen it in years, is Steve watching everything that's happened in his absence, seeing how bad the world got because he failed, intercut with his only remaining connections being murdered at the same time.

I will boldly claim that this deals with Cap struggling to adjust to a world that's moved on from him better than the MCU. There, it's in small glimpses, here, it's the focus of the film. It's a man out of time movie 1st, superhero movie 2nd. Old age makeup, though? Very '90s DTV

I know I've been pointing out a lot of positives but I'll also stress that this is a movie where Cap rides a bike off a cliff because it somehow couldn't be avoided and has rubber ears on the costume that are.... terrifying.

Onto movie #4 and, fair warning, I am about to become unhinged because I still love this one to death. I really do. It's time for GENERATION X.

Big dose of good/bad here: Jubilee is a main protagonist in a movie instead of a background cameo, but the bad is that she's played by a white actor.

Out of literally everything I watched as a kid, this was the teenage cast I just wanted to hang with most. Especially by the end when they all like each other.

Pretty sure this was my introduction to the great Matt Frewer, one of my favorite character actors, who spends this movie swallowing the scenery whole.

For the sake of balance, I do have to point out that this TV movie I love has a scene spending about three whole minutes devoted to farts, and the theme of the entire visual style is "BATMAN FOREVER was the biggest movie of last year."

I love LOVE that I am watching a Marvel comics television movie where Jubilee just said, and I quote, "Are you fucking nuts? I cosmically shit my fucking pants."

Spike-lops here is my favorite character, even if he was made up for the movie. Starts out a genuinely gross teenage asshole who actually gets to have the moment of realizing it's not getting anywhere, not impressing anyone, and completely drops the act.

Bad wig and wind machine whenever she gets mad aside, that's Emma, alright. They remain very true to the character (refreshing, after some other movies out there...) right down to having the loss of the Hellions being a major reason for her hardass behavior.

Sure, the costume revealed at the end isn't great, but we should live in a world where this pilot got picked up and we got this on a weekly basis. I could've spent countless hours with this cast. I love GENERATION X.

And so we come to the last movie of the marathon. I think I have enough time before switching gears to the Chainsaw Awards. It's 1994's THE FANTASTIC FOUR.

Ohhhhhh my God that's Mercedes McNab as young Sue Storm.

Honestly, silly as the whole thing is, I kinda love that they're doing this whole mission in Victor's honor, thinking he's dead, while he's actually become Dr. Doom by now and is already out there being a huge piece of shit.

We love a Doom who gestures wildly while delivering every line because he found out he's going to be dubbed and is milking that physical performance for all it's worth.

Probably the hardest thing to explain about this movie is that it's kinda got the Leprechaun in it for no discernible reason.

A schlocky low-budget FANTASTIC FOUR movie where Castle Doom is a miniature with lightning flashing every time we see it is something I would've rented all the time as a kid, had it officially been released. I would have eaten it up.

This was six years before X-MEN.

That's the end of the marathon. I've wanted to do this for so long (that fake TV bumper graphic wasn't even made this year) but could never convince myself to do it. So glad I did. I had a blast. Hadn't seen any of these in years. With MCU so clean, I've come to miss the warts.