Thread by @Streetz_263

THE REASON WHY I WILL NEVER TAKE ZWITTER MEN SERIOUSLY.

THREAD:

So one day on a Sunday afternoon, ndichangosvika kumba ndichibva kuchechi, ndikati rega ndizorore zvangu ndichi scrolla pa Twitter... paive ne nyaya yainetsa ye Mercedes Benz ye Silver so... nyaya dzacho here... 😂

Ndikuto scrolla paye ndakazongoona, "One new message received"... aah rimwe jentrumeni raizviti 'Mukomana wechii chii' so rapinda zvaro mu DM...ndikati rega ndimborinzwa kuti rakamira seyi.... ndikabva ndati "Ndeipi"... 😒

Pasina kana two minutes ndakaona message yapinda zvakare... hanzi, "hello Mwanawevhu wakasvika svika, my name is Tonderayi and i just wanted to deliver my heart to you, ndanakirwa newe Mwanawevhu..." 😂

Ini dhii pasi nekuseka, mazuva iwayo ndanga ndambomira zve mujolo izvi asi ndakati apa rega ndimborinzwa jaya iri... ndikatiwo, "Hesi Tonde, ini ndinonzi Vimbayi, your heart is too big enough for me to handle... i cannot take it, but waita basa..." 😂😂💯

Ndakaona jentrumeni radzoka rikati aiwa Mwanawevhu, ndokubatsira kutakura usatye, how about we meet up timbotaura taura two minutes... ndikati okay let's meet in town unogarepi... zvikanzi Mt Pleasant, can we meet today? Ndikati i free Pizza kaiyi... handeyi mwanakomana... 😂😂

Pasina kana time ndakasangana nemujaya mu town tikapinda zvedu mu Chicken Slice... aiwa mukomana akatenga tenga kani madyiro andakaita ipapo, handidi kunyepa, i was so impressed ende ndakadya... ndikati burger, majipe aya... Shawarma, dhiringi... aaah ndakanakirwa... 💯😂

Takazoti tapedza kudya paya taguta takudzikisira nema dhiringi, chikomana chikati chatanga kusasa... hanzi Mwanawevhu iwewe ini ndotokuda, I've been eyeing you for sometime...ndoda uite muroora wekwa "Mugabe".... 😯😮Ini eeh, ndikati Mugabe wedu watinoziva or Tinashe Mugabe... 😂

Zvikanzi nemukomana, Vimbayi i didn't want to tell you this, its a big secret you might be killed ukaudza vanhu... its a matter kmof national security, ndikati national as in Zimbabw? Zvikanzi ehe... huya padhuze ndikuudze... mukomana akaswebera panzeve pangu ndokuti....

The Late President was my father, but ndiri illegitimate child sk I've been kept a secret my whole life, no one was supposed to know but ndinotonzi Tonde Mugabe... Ndikati ukutiiko iwe zvikanzi mira uwone Vimbayi....

"Apa i was in Dubai with my broz, Bella na Robbie... we had a good time, we tour the world together... apa taive ku Malaysia ku retirement home ya Daddy... toto linker zvekudaro... apa taive ku Ontario, Canada ku show ya Justin Bieber, hanty ukuona takatorwa pic naye...mface wedu

Aaah, ndichiona zvese izvi... ndikati ndapinda ini... chikomana ini ndatove wako ndakunzi Mai Mugabe... Muroora wekwa Mugabe... my life is now complete... ndichamirireyi... haaa takatotanga rudo rwedu isu sa Baba na Mai Mugabe... ❤️❤️😂💯

Takatanga hedu kunanana paya, days became weeks, weeks became months ka paya... pane kumba kwandaiendeswa so ku Mt Pleasant ikoko aaah hanzi ndokumba kwedu, but our real house is in Dubai ndikati eeh... haaaa ndapinda ini, then i started saying ndakuda kunoona Mhamha... 😂💔

Mukomana akati whaat?Not yet baby, izvezvi Mhamha havaoneke zvekudaro, but vakaita available will tell you, mukomana akutiza tiza haachabatike paye... ndikamufonera pamwe yaisaita, pamwe aidaira oti I'm on my way to the Airport ndikuenda ku Germany nebasa, let's talk ndadzoka...

Aaah ini ndakatanga kushushikana kuti chii chiri kuitika, asi handichadiwa, asi kwane vamwe Mai Mugabe vasiri ini? Hope dzikaramba kuuya... ipapi mujaya haachatowanike zvachose, mumwe musi ndikati unonyepa, dhuku ne zambia... ndini uyo ku Mt Pleasant....

Ndichisvika ndakasikovhurirwa gedhe nemukomana webasa, akanondisiya mumba maive na Mhamha, vanova ndivo Mai Mugabe(unofficially)... 😂😂zvikanzj ndiwe ani ndikati makadii mhamha ndini Vimbayi, musikana wa Tonderayi... zvikanzi horaiti, gara hako apa... ndokubatsira neyi...?

Ini musodzi chururu, ndikati Mhamha Tonderayi handichamuoni mazuva ano, ndanga ndauya kuzomutsvaga... last time we talked aienda ku China nebasa... since then handina kuzotaura naye...

Zvikanzi na Mhamha ku China...??!lSaka haasiriye Tonderayi mwana wangu, ini wangu anosenza pa ZBC apo anotengesa mota... iwewe gara ipapo manje manje anenge atouya achibva kubasa...

Ini ndikati ku ZBC kupi futi wana wa President... hazviite... however ndakangogarawo ipapo pakatozouya sister yake tikatandara naye tichitotaura... time time ndikati regayi ndimbo taura na Mhamha futi...

Ndikabva ndati kuna Mhamha, nematambudziko a Baba vakazofira ku Malaysia, zvikanzi baba vapi futi... ndikati, i know Mhamha its a secret, Tonde told me... musatye henyu i already know, zvikanzi ukutiiko iwe... ndikati nematambudziko ka a Baba Mugabe, the former president... 🤣🤣

Ndisati ndapedza kutaura ndikuona Mhamha na Tete Tsitsi bvuu kuseka vachimbundirana... ini ndikati yohwe, asi vanopenga... ndikanzwa vachiti... Asi Tonderayi ka... uyo mumwe anyeperwa futi... ini ndikati ah ah, zvikanzi na Mhamha wakazvinzwepi izvozvo...

Ini ndikati ah ah nhayi Mhamha, handiti maimbove mukadzi wa President, Tonde is an illegitimate child of the late president?! Honayi mapiks aaindipa muina President aya, iri aina Bamnini Bella na Bamnini Robbie ku Dubai... iri muri ku Malaysia kumba kwa Baba...

Tete Tsitsi ndivo vakazonditi, "No Vimbi... its all a lie Tonde use to seduce girls, iwe unga believawi zvinhu zvakadaro?!"... ini ndikati ko mapikicha?!.. zvikanzi he's a computer guy uyu i photoshop iyi... 😯😮Ndikati ko mota dzaanofamba nadzo zvikanzi ndedze kubasa....

Ndikati kubasa kupi handiti mu CIO here Tonderayi... zvikanzi ayehwa ndedze murungu wake waanoshandira ku ZBC, anotengesa mota uyu... yes our surname is Mugabe but we are not in any way related to The Former President isu... wakanyeperwa dear, I'm very sorry... 😯😯😯😯

ini ndakamboda kuzvibata but ndakakurirwa nemusodzi, ndiyo mhere... Tete Tsitsi vakauya padhuze vachindinyaradza.... Uko Mhamha vakutyoka nekuseka... ndikati nezvese zvandakaitira Tonde, it was all a lie, saka handisi Mai Mugabe veku State House?! Haaa ndakachema kani... 🤣💔💯

Ndiri pakati pekuchema mukomana akabva apinda, akapfeka jersey rake re Chelsea achiratidza kushungurudzika zvakanyanya... pandakamutarisa takabva tadhumanisa maziso, ndikati nhayi Tonde ndakakutadzira chii kundinyepera kudayi... kubdiita benzi rak o here To derayi shuwa... 😭💔😤

Mukomana akaratidza kushamisika ipapo,akamboramba ari zii ndobva atanga kutaura,"Iwewe wanzi nani uuye panapa, watadza kufona?!Usapuse iwewe wanzwa... what we had is over, dzokera kumba kwenyu usiyane neni zifuza remunhu?!"...l achibva aenda ku room kwake..akatendeuka akabva ati:

Ndakangosumudza purse yangu ndikati ini ndaenda kumba kwedu ku Budiriro, yah I've been played yet again, ndiri mudiki pa nyaya idzi inini... kana hasha dzakapera ndikazviseka, ndikabata musoro ndikati yah... vakomana vepa Harare ma gangsters echokwadi... 🤣🤣🤣💯💔

And THAT'S THE REASON WHY I WILL NEVER TRUST ZWITTER GUYS.... 🤣🤣🤣💯💔

Thank You for reading my fictional story... musazokanganwe kundi followawo abeg... have a good day guys!!! 🤣🤣🤣💯