Thread by @YilingSani

#Soft Wangxian

There are nights when Wei Wuxian still dreams of the Burial Mounds. It's not the dreams in which he shares the table with Wens and plants radishes with little a-Yuan.

No.

These dreams are nightmares. Nightmares of his broken body after the fall. Of the endless

darkness and the overwhelming hunger. And what he did to satiate it. The kind of nightmares that make his guts twist painfully and he wakes up drenched in cold sweat. The kind of nightmares that make him shake to his core, teeth rattling in the darkness of the room.

He sits and waits, unmoving, hoping that it will soon pass. It usually does.

But the sickness swirling in his stomach is forcing it's way up and he jumps out of bed as swiftly and quietly as he can and runs outside.

Wei Wuxian slides the door closed and wretches right into

the small stream flowing near Jingshi.

He hates that these dreams still haunt him. Wei Wuxian is okay with his past, choosing not to linger on it. He is happier than he has ever been in any of his two lives.

But the things were not forgotten. Only deeply buried and while they

remained buried during the day, it was the night when they decided to crawl out and sneak into Wei Wuxian's unprotected and sleeping mind and torment him.

Wei Wuxian wretches again when a new wave of sickness makes his body shake and then he falls on all four in the grass.

He spits, trying to get rid of the bad taste in his mouth when there's a noise behind him.

"Wei Ying?" Lan Wangji's voice is soft and so very worried.

All Wei Wuxian wants is for Lan Wangji to hold him. He shivers from the dream and perhaps from the late autumn cold outside,

but he dared not to ask. He doesn't want to be selfish. He doesn't want to worry his husband.

"Go back to sleep, Lan Zhan. It's all good."

But instead of listening, Lan Wangji kneels beside him and helps him to sit up.

"Wei Ying, what happened?" even in the poor

light of the single lantern hanging at the nearest wall, Wei Wuxian sees how much worry is there in his husband's golden eyes.

"Nothing, Lan Zhan," he lies, trying to summon a smile. "I'm fine."

Lan Wangji clearly does not believe him. Instead, he envelops Wei Wuxian in

a tight and warm embrace, feeling the other man's shaking.

"Lan Zhan, I'm really fine," Wei Wuxian tries to assure him and break out from his grip. "Go back to bed, please."

"No," Lan Wangji's voice is low in Wei Wuxian's ear.

And then Lan Wangji lifts them both up from the

ground. Despite Wei Wuxian's protests, Lan Wangji leads him back inside and sits him down on the edge of the bed, wrapping a soft blanket around Wei Wuxian's shoulders.

"Er-gege, I'm really okay," he tries again but the golden eyes looking down at him are still tainted with

worry. And something else. Sadness? Pain?

"I'll make you some tea," Lan Wangji says and heads over to warm up the little pot with one of the talismans.

Wei Wuxian wants to argue but he finds himself suddenly feeling very tired, so he just watches his husband in silence.

And he tries. He tries to replace the ghostly hunger clawing at his insides with the softness of Lan Wangji's face in the light of the candles. He tries to replace the endless darkness haunting his mind with the ebony strands of silk flowing freely over his husband's back.

He tries to replace the smell of death, blood and decay with that of sandalwood and brewing tea.

Wei Wuxian doesn't realise that tea is ready until Lan Wangji is kneeling before him with a cup in his hand.

He places it between Wei Wuxian's fingers and his own.

"Be careful, it's hot," is all he says.

Wei Wuxian looks down at him, his eyes growing hot and prickly.

"You shouldn't–"

"Drink," Wangji interrupts him. "Please."

It is impossible for Wei Wuxian to say no when his husband looks at him with that pleading gaze.

Anything. Anything to make Lan Zhan happy. Anything to make him worry less.

Wei Wuxian takes a sip and it's the best tea he has ever had. His mouth no longer tastes like earth and rotten flesh.

He lets out a long exhale.

After a moment of silence, Lan Wangji nudges him

to drink more until the cup is empty and Wei Wuxian slowly begins to feel like a person again.

He watches how Lan Zhan puts everything away, listening to the shuffle of his nightrobes, how his bare feet steadily move around the space. The little domestic noises.

Done with the tea, Lan Wangji comes and sits down on the bed and this time it is Wei Wuxian who seeks out his husband.

Wei Wuxian immediately shuffles closer, looking for warmth.

It seems like it's not enough for Wangji and he pulls Wei Wuxian in his lap and the other man

curls up in it as small as he can, hiding his face in his husband's shoulder. Two arms come around him, slowly gathering together the pieces Wei Wuxian has been broken into by his nightmares.

Wei Wuxian would usually not allow this. But he's tired and it's easier to be

vulnerable under the veil of the night than in the bright daylight.

So he just snuggles closer, his hands gripping the collars of his husband's sleeping robes.

"You can talk to me, Wei Ying," the voice above him is softer than anything else.

"I know," Wei Wuxian mumbles

against his husband's shoulder.

He knows. But he hates worrying his dear Lan Zhan.

"Then talk to me," Lan Wangji almost begs. "I want to help."

A single cold shiver runs from Wei Wuxian's head to his toes and Wangji's arms tighten around him in

response.

Lan Wangji waits. Patiently. Silently.

"I dream," Wei Wuxian begins, unsure, "of the Burial Mounds..."

He pauses for a bit. And then the words begin to pour out of him. He has never talked about what he went through those three months, not only because he didn't

want anyone to pity him or worry someone else, but because it was too horrifying to remember.

And yet, right now the words are leaving him with ease as if the damn is broken at last. Every sentence is sealed with the shaking of his body. It's like he's inside his nightmare

again but this time it is Lan Zhan's arms, his sandalwood scent and his steady breath that ties Wei Wuxian to this reality and with every sentence spoken, Wangji's arms tighten around him to the point it almost hurts.

And Wei Wuxian just melts in it.

"Wei Ying," Wangji calls

out and Wei Wuxian looks up.

To his shock, he finds the golden eyes filled with tears.

"I'm sorry," Wangji continues, his voice on the verge of breaking. "I wish I could have spared you from such horror and pain. I'm sorry I couldn't find you on time."

Wei Wuxian cannot

stand seeing his husband like this. He raises a little and taking Wangji's head between his palms, kisses away his tears.

"There is no need for sorry between us," he says drawing back at last. "Remember? The past is in the past. It doesn't mean it won't haunt me at times,

especially at night. But neither you nor I can turn back the time. There's no point to waste our tears on it."

The golden eyes close just for a moment and once they open again, they are more determined than ever.

"I could not protect you back then," Lan Wangji begins, his palm gently cupping Wei Wuxian's cheek. "But I promise to protect you from now on. You're safe. I won't let anything happen to you. I'll bring down the stars from heaven just to make you happy, Wei Ying."

"Lan Zhaaan!" Wei Wuxian whines and buries his face against his husband's neck, arms snaking around Wangji's waist.

"You know my heart is too fragile for such sweet things."

Wei Wuxian hears a little huff that he knows by now is Lan Zhan's laugh.

"Do you think you can go back to sleep?" Lan Wangji asks after a while.

"I-I don't know," Wei Wuxian admits.

"Try," Wangji says but he doesn't seem to be willing to let go of Wei Wuxian just yet.

Wei Wuxian sighs and curls up in Lan Wangji's lap again, pressing his face against his husband's shoulder and feeling the steady rhythm of Wangji's heart under his palm.

Lan Wangji holds him tight, one hand rubbing his back in soothing circles.

He kisses the top of Wei Wuxian's head and tucking it under his chin, begins to hum.

Wei Wuxian recognises the familiar tune and smiles, his body has stopped shaking and he further relaxes in his husband's arms.

Wei Wuxian's eyelids become heavy and the warmth of his husband seeps into his bones, while the scent of sandalwood and tea still envelopes him like a fluffy blanket.

"Love you," Wei Wuxian mumbles, gradually losing his battle with sleep.

"I love you too," comes the voice above him – it fills Wei Wuxian's heart with so much love he'd weep at it if he wasn't so tired.

"Night, husband," Wei Wuxian now whispers as his eyes close completely.

"Good night, my love," Lan Wangji replies.

Lan Wangji sits like that for a very long time, cradling Wei Wuxian in his arms and thinking over what his husband had told him earlier on.

So many mistakes.

But Wei Ying is right. They could not change the past.

The future, however, is a different matter.

He'll keep Wei Ying safe. Whether it's from the dangers of the Cultivation world or the nightmares.

He'll spend his life erasing those horrible memories with all the love that he carries in his heart for his beautiful Wei Ying.

Lan Wangji lays his cheek on the top of Wei Wuxian's head and closes his eyes.

"Lan Zhan," Wei Wuxian whispers as the last shred of his awareness is drifting away to sleep. "Can you leave a candle on tonight?"

Lan Wangji smiles with his eyes closed and his arms full of the love of his life.

"Anything Wei Ying wants."

//the end