I think this scene gets a lot more context towards the end.
we know pete has been serving the main family for a while and since he is only a bodyguard he doesn't have much say in what he wants or doesn't.
initially I thought it was very uncharacteristic of him >>
to give up his position in the main family once shit hits the fan and gun dies. but now that I'm watching this scene again, I think it reflects well into how Pete sees himself as nothing but a tool in their schemes.
“i don't even have my humanity” goes to show how he >>
probably never wanted to get into the mafia buisness in the first place and be forced to kill people, or worse, get captured during a mission and have and enjoy sex with the enemy. I think there's a lot of guilt packed in there.
>>
this scene where he says “i never exist” says how much autonomy he lacks, both in respect to the boxing his father forced him into and also I think joining the mafia (since we don't know the full background).
I think it's fitting that in the end when he gives up his position >>
it is probably the only thing he has willingly done for himself without there being some underlying scheming or manipulation from others.
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if pete hadn't been there, then vegas would probably have successfully killed himself. like I'm not even kidding. he would have done it. he isn't a coward, he went all in knowing he could die.
but pete stopping >>
him here holds so much more significance than just "love interest saves someone from peril" and all that jazz. their love, it hasn't blossomed yet. vegas doesn't know pete loves him. and pete does, but I don't think he fully grasps to what extent. he knows he doesn't want to >>
lose vegas but they have a lot to work through before actually acknowledging that they can have a bond and how to go about building it.
so pete stops him, because he doesn't want to lose him. he wants to give it a shot. them. but that is only that.
>>
okay that scene where pete knocks out vegas before leaving, we see vegas agreeing to undo his cuffs and say, “promise me you won't leave me”.
throughout the whole safe house ordeal, the only other companion vegas has is his hedgehog. which he keeps in a birdcage. >>
it is quite telling that when vegas pleads with pete to not leave him if he were to unlock his cuffs, it shows how deathly scared he is of abandonment. probably the only form of love he has experienced before this was his own towards his pet. and even so, regardless of how >>
much he cared for them, they died. his hedgehogs were probably the only thing tying him to his self and humanity.
when he meets pete and falls for him, he experiences love for the first time in the form of genuine interest and care. of course he is hungering for it. >>