Thread by @mina__nyaaa

#kaisagi

Isagi likes MUN. For one, there are a couple of set phrases, arguments and actions you can memorise and carry out as you see fit; so it's less stomach-churning than a proper debate would be. For another, everyone here is a competitive asshole.

https://twitter.com/smallerghosts/status/1665566972308865024

Nothing can compare to football, but there's something about the pleasure of a using well-crafted role-play speech taking into account complex geopolitics to absolutely /destroy/ another college student in a fancy suit that just can't be replicated.

He's feeling good about their chances. Bachira's new to MUN conferences, but he's had him as a debate partner a couple of times in the past and they make a great duo—Isagi brings the cold, rational facts, and Bachira grabs hearts with his impassioned speeches.

They're going to grab that Best Delegate Award no matter what, he thinks with satisfaction.

"I think we have enough votes," Bachira whispers from next to him. Isagi nods. They're representing Japan, and the draft resolution they sponsored just about has a majority.

Total feather in their cap—he casts a glance at the side-panel where the jury's making notes. Unofficially, everyone knows a passed draft resolution gives you a leg-up for Best Delegate. This is going to be—

"Veto," says Germany, and Isagi snaps out of rose-coloured dreams to

glare incredulously at the team sitting opposite to them in the UNSC section.

Germany had stayed indifferent throughout the drafting process; the polite message Isagi had sent (Hello! This is the Japan delegates, we wanted to ask if you'd be interested in sponsoring our DR?)

during the recess for lunch had been left on read.

There are two plaques next to the 'Germany' placard. Kaiser and Ness. It was Kaiser who'd just spoken into the microphone.

Bachira flips through their notepad till he finds the Germany section. Isagi glances at his notes.

National champs—well, that goes for everyone in this room; one's a PolSci major and the other is in Finance; and—ah. Famous for winning by stonewalling other delegates and then swooping in to get their own bills passed. Assholes. This is political roleplay, so of course such

behaviour is encouraged and rewarded—but it still rubs Isagi the wrong way. He raises his hand.

"You have the floor, Japan," says the Chairman, and he grabs his mic to shoot out, politely aggressive, "We ask the German delegates to please spell out what reason they have for

their veto."

Kaiser smirks. He holds the mic indolently while his partner looks at him with stars in his eyes. "We reserve the right to use our descretion as permanent members of this council to veto any and all bills we see unworthy. Is the Japan delegate not familiar with such

protocol?"

Isagi wishes he could toss his name-card right at his stupid, pointy face.

"The caucus is adjourned here—for an informal meeting!" crows the Chairman. It takes a special sort of person to willingly take time out of their day to supervise a bunch of college students

roleplaying geopolitics. And Ego Jinpachi /lives/ to see pretentious minds tear each other apart over make-believe.

Isagi power-walks straight to the German desk, Bachira at his heels.

"What do you want?" he spits out. Kaiser doesn't look at him. "You want us to add a clause,

put you guys down as sponsors? What's it gonna take for you to stop stonewalling us?"

Kaiser finally stops fiddling with his hair and staring into space like the empty-headed waste of space he is. He looks up at Isagi from his seat, lips curled up maliciously.

"Yoichi—you don't mind if I call you Yoichi?" Isagi opens his mouth to hiss out, yes, he does fucking mind very much but Kaiser bulldozes on without waiting for an answer. "I believe the best wins come at the cost of crushing all your competition."

Isagi laughs incredulously. "This is an MUN, not a football match. Literally, this whole," he waves his hands at the conference hall at large, "thing, works because a bunch of us decided we want to role-play politics. It's a communal activity, you can't fucking pass a bill

without having sponsors and voters."

"I agree!" says Kaiser brightly. "And a bill is most certainly going to be passed by the end of the conference—just not /your/ bill Yoichi."

"You egotistical prick," says Isagi, smiling painfully now, because if he doesn't he'll start

yelling and be ejected from the room and he doesn't want any of the blood-suckers here to bring that up at whatever conference they inevitably meet at again.

Kaiser grins, stands up. Leans down to softly speak into Isagi's ear, "And you aren't? C'mon, be honest. You were getting

bored with how easily your coalition was getting votes, weren't you?"

Isagi balls his fists, tries to protest—and can't. Yeah, the conference had been a cakewalk up till this point but that didn't he wanted—/this/.

Kaiser sits down, looking supremely satisfied with himself.

"Go on, then, you wouldn't want to waste this whole caucus on /me/, would you?" he says fluttering his eyelashes.

The seat next to Kaiser is conspicuously empty. Isagi whirls around to see Ness chatting away with Italy and Spain, two of the co-sponsors for

their draft resolution. A picture-perfect portrait of conspiracy. Bachira's already there, thankfully, and he can see Ness' bright smile falter a little from afar.

He puts his hands in his pockets, gives Kaiser one of his "I want to chop you up and sautée you right now" smiles

(Bachira had come up with the name).

Kaiser doesn't blink. "Remember," calls out Isagi pleasantly as he walks away. "You asked for this!"

He can hear Kaiser guffaw behind him.

ah. is it obvious that i was an mun/debate/extempore kid back in the day? i've always wanted to write an mun au 😭 i've forgotten a bunch of the rules and protocol so a lot of this was half-assed oops...

oh yeah mun = model united nations, just remembered not everyone is a fucking nerd like i am