Thread by @ZachWLambert

Want to know just how much the toxic ideology from #ShinyHappyPeople (Bill Gothard, Duggars, IBLP, etc.) infiltrated mainstream evangelicalism?

This true story takes place at one of the largest Southern Baptist churches in the world and it’s called Sex, Supper and Submission…

During my first two years in seminary I worked at a 45,000 member SBC church in the Dallas area.

A few months after we got married, my wife, Amy, and I attended a class for newly married couples at the church.

It was called After You Say I Do.

Each week we studied a topic intended to help us grow in our marriage. One week the theme was “Women’s Roles.”

I remember sitting in that room like it was yesterday. The teacher walked into the room, strode up to the whiteboard, and wrote:

SEX
SUPPER
SUBMISSION

Then she said, “Ladies, these three S’s are the best way to remember your role in marriage.”

I could feel Amy stiffen next to me as I began laughing involuntarily.

I assumed the statement was a misguided joke meant to alleviate the tension in the room. It was not a joke.

Then the teacher (who was also the Women’s Ministry Director) said, “Turn in your Bibles to Ephesians 5:21.” 

I was stunned. Not only was this toxic ideology being taught to hundreds of impressionable young couples, the teacher was claiming it was actually based on Scripture.

“Wives, submit yourselves to your husbands, as to the Lord.” Ephesians 5:21

For the next hour, we sat through dangerous and misogynistic teaching emboldened by this verse being ripped out of its context and used to baptize patriarchy.

At the end of the class, the teacher wrote one last thing on the board.

Want to guess what it was?

A slightly modified version of IBLP umbrella, created by Bill Gothard, demonstrating “God’s design” for authority and submission.

You can call IBLP a cult and Gothard a cult leader, and you would be right, but we can’t pretend this stuff was only taught at homeschool conferences and fundamentalist churches.

This stuff was EVERYWHERE.

And it still is.

Every SBC church I’ve been a part of was influenced by IBLP or directly taught it.

Earlier this year, the Southern Baptist Convention excommunicated Saddleback Church (the largest church in CA and one of the largest in the US) for giving a woman on staff the title of pastor.

If Christians want to leave this abusive theology behind, we must:

1. Be honest about how prevalent it is.

Pretending these are isolated incidents led by bad apples gets us nowhere. Millions of people went to IBPL gatherings and millions more still perpetuate this garbage.

2. Condemn it clearly and completely.

Patriarchy, female subjugation, and child abuse are evil. Full stop.

But not only are they toxic ideologies, they’re in direct contradiction to the work and words of Jesus Christ. We must be loud and clear about that.

3. Promote mutual flourishing for all people.

Ephesians 5:20, the verse right before the one quoted by the sex, supper, submission teacher, says…

“Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.”

The Way of Jesus is mutual support for the purpose of mutual flourishing.