Amanda Ball Profile picture
Jun 10 4 tweets 1 min read Twitter logo Read on Twitter
Hey #Dissociatwt we are reaching out more than normal and do appreciate your help. Bear with us on this thread. We get confused about how to approach/the difference between ‘grounding’ (to shift body/mind/emotions/sensations) and just distracting/other dissociative ‘skills’.
For example fear is rising in us and ‘I’ know which part of me it’s from because the time of year / weather & other factors means our mind is heading off down a flashback route. In a way we need to sit with it and say we are safe/ground/ allow feelings but it’s JUST TOO MUCH.
So ‘I’ will distract and move and do stuff to parcel it off and I will also (by doing stuff like this and talking in our head) let that part know I know how she is feeling. But really I know she needs to let the flashback happen and all of learn we can survive it.
So I will head out for a walk now and really truly hope we don’t get a thunder storm as then that definitely will trigger the flashback. We feel we can only process this with our T and if. It with our T the best we can do is shove it down and survive.
How do you all manage? Ends

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More from @AWonderBall

Jun 13
We can’t imagine how it must feel for those who have long term serious physical disabilities to live with alongside a serious MH condition. We are constantly plagued with injuries, illness, inflammation, skin conditions etc and it adds another layer on to trying to survive. #DID
We try when we have enough energy to keep physically fit through running. Also it’s one of our few opportunities for social connection as part of a club. We try to do as much as we can to cross & strength train, we warm up/cool down and do everything ‘right’ but still get injured
The physical symptoms that accompany many serious MH conditions are often overlooked. The allostatic load placed on our bodies must be enormous. We were using HRV as a tool but stopped as it was depressing us more. Our psoriasis has flared again, an indicator for us of exhaustion
Read 6 tweets
May 29
TW…ideation
How do people cope when thoughts are prevalent but there is the also despair of knowing we’d not carry out? We’ve a fear of hurting people (so some might say that’s a ‘protective factor’) &/or messing it up BUT then we feel trapped by the thought we have no way out.
And just to add, we bought this book for ourselves from @SuicideCrisis but for some reason we are ‘banned’ (by selves?) from reading it. Image
& another thing. When is a crisis a crisis? We’ve never phoned NHS crisis team as despite offering training, it’s never been taken up. No surprises there 🙄if there’s no guaranteed treatment pathway they’re unlikely to train staff in a ‘condition’ that’s not commissioned #DID 😩
Read 4 tweets
May 20
🧵 Living and exercising with #DID #ukrunchat
3 weeks ago we pushed the pace whilst out running. Hadn’t done any speed work or hills etc for months as was too worried about my injury prone body. Had several months of steady miles & strength training under my belt & felt ready.
My head was beyond full from everything we are managing - marriage breakdown, prospect of moving home, menopause and of course living with #DissociativeIdentityDisorder - The symptoms for which are just so vast and debilitating that we are too exhausted to try and explain.
TW❗️
That Saturday morning we NEEDED to run hard. Had our mind set on max perceived effort, an out and back of 20 mins each way & ran alongside an experienced and fast runner. So this is where the ability to dissociate becomes dangerous and some might say was an act of #SelfHarm
Read 23 tweets
Mar 5
A 🧵 This #DIDAwarnessDay MeWe have some news to share. Since last October a small volunteer group, including ourselves, have been working hard to prepare for starting a charity for and by people with dissociative disorders, their supporters and professionals working in the field
We are proud to announce our name - ‘The Dissociative Disorders Alliance’ @TheDDAGlobal #DIDAwarenessDay #DissociativeIdentityDisorder #DissociativeDisorders Image says The Dissociative Disorders Alliance’. Bright gr
Once established as a UK Charity we want to;

* Improve access to appropriate and effective support and care
Read 13 tweets
Dec 23, 2022
Hey #Dissociatwt We had one of the most terrifying somatoform symptoms last night, possibly after a trauma dream but it’s all foggy. We could feel our legs but could not feel the outsides of our skin on our top half but we were able to move our limbs. At the same time the inside
of our body was hurting so much, it felt like we were drugged. The pain was such that we felt we needed a huge amount of pressure to relieve it BUT we couldn’t feel our skin on any of our top half of our body. We tried rocking to feel the bed underneath us, we tried slapping
we still couldn’t feel and we felt trapped as we couldn’t get enough momentum to get out of bed as our top half wasn’t able to feel the edges of body. I then thought maybe if I doubled over our weighted blanket that would help but it didn’t. I then tried punching and that helped
Read 9 tweets
Dec 21, 2022
When she was someone’s wife, someone’s employee, someone’s boss, someone’s social planner, someone’s rock, someone’s bank, someone’s house mover someone’s font of know how, someone’s home & meal provider, someone’s champion then she was in demand, popular some might say.
Now she is not able to do those things for people in the same way. She is now we and we feel invisible. The body of course is visible but the role we played in peoples lives for most of our life is no more. No doubt they resent it.
I resent it, did not ask for this, yes it’s an amazing survival skill, yes we think others like us are some of the most insightful, imaginative, soulful, intelligent & wonderful people, but let’s face it, it’s shit. Where do people find hope in this existence?
Read 4 tweets

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