Thread by @ZachWLambert

Why do male pastors fight so hard to preserve patriarchy?

Why did the largest Protestant denomination in America (the Southern Baptist Convention) just excommunicate churches for ordaining women?

Because without this very strict hierarchy, their power FALLS APART.

🧵

This is the original umbrella illustration used by Bill Gothard and IBLP, as seen on #ShinyHappyPeople.

But in practice there is another umbrella between Christ and the husband—the pastor.

In these circles, the pastor tells the husband what Jesus wants.

The pastor is actually the most powerful because he alone speaks for God.

But there are some very real threats to that power: singleness, divorce, and egalitarianism all have the ability to disrupt this hierarchy.

And that’s why they’re all vigorously condemned. Here’s how:

<Singleness>

Have you ever wondered why heterosexual marriage is so prized and encouraged so young in patriarchal Christian contexts?

Teenage courtships, “Ring by Spring!” and all that.

Seems weird since the Bible says it is better to be single than married (1 Cor. 7).

But prolonged singleness disrupts the hierarchy because independent, adult women don’t easily fit under the umbrellas.

So women are pressured, from a very early age, to marry and start having kids as soon as possible.

<Divorce>

In the SBC churches I grew up in, people used to tell newly engaged or married women, “you can kill him, but you can’t divorce him!”

It was a “joke,” but there was deep truth behind it. Divorce is rarely (if ever) condoned because it disrupts the hierarchy.

This is why women are always told to stay, even with abusers.

As Mandy Nicole says, “A lot of pastors have to encourage women to stay with abusive husbands because if they taught women how to recognize abuse and leave it, women would be leaving their churches too.”

More here:

https://twitter.com/zachwlambert/status/1539291122123546624

Already divorced women are often shunned from patriarchal churches.

A close friend of mine was told she couldn’t dedicate her children at their previous church after getting divorced. Why? Because without a husband/father, they were outside the umbrella of protection.

<Egalitarianism>

Why do many patriarchal pastors declare complementarianism to be a “Gospel issue” and call anyone who believes in equality between genders a heretic?

Because gender equality in marriage or church leadership immediately breaks down the hierarchy of power.

This also extends to queer relationships because they’re (almost always) inherently egalitarian and anti-patriarchal.

That’s why patriarchal men claim LGBTQ+ folks are “threatening the traditional family” or “grooming kids” all while ignoring rampant abuse in their circles.

Let’s end where we began—breaking down the more accurate umbrella illustration.

1. God is angry and scary.
2. The pastor alone knows how to appease this God: total submission.
3. Husband submits to the pastor.
4. Wife submits to the husbands.
5. Kids submit to everyone.

All of this leads to spiritual, psychological, physical and sexual abuse.

The lower you are on the hierarchy, the more likely you are to be severely abused.

And to preserve the hierarchy, abuse is covered up, abusers are defended, and victims are silenced and sidelined.

Once you understand the way this works, you see it EVERYWHERE.

You see it with the Duggars, Gothard, and IBLP.

You see it with the abuse scandals in the SBC and the Catholic Church.

You see it at Mars Hill, Hillsong, The Master’s Seminary, Liberty University, and on and on.

So how can Christians fight against this?

By practicing the sacrificial love and shared leadership demonstrated by Jesus.

Jesus said that loving (John 13:34-35) and serving (Matthew 20:25-28) others are the primary identifying characteristics of those who follow him.

We are called to serve people, not subjugate them. We must care for the vulnerable, not prey on them.

If you want to smash the patriarchy, then love people and share leadership.

Because shared leadership kills hierarchy and sacrificial love helps heal those wounded by it.