Thread by @datepsych

I have written and posted some research on the risk-aversion trend in the younger generations. Also how this may relate to the mating crisis. I would recommend reading this post and the comments to see an example of what that kind of risk-aversion looks like. 🧵

https://twitter.com/IncelsCo/status/1676175309714882561

You have people who are afraid to talk to women because they think they will end up on TikTok or go to jail. Is this a realistic fear? Is it even a real fear, or is the real fear juat a fear of rejection itself?

People who are afraid of the "social consequences" of rejection.

These risks always existed, by the way. They have always been small, too. What has changed is not the risk.

It is the fear.

A generational shift where an astonishingly large number of men are afraid to talk to women.

It was always the case that you could be rejected. In high school it could lead to teasing. In college it could lead to an awkward situation with a peer you share a class with.

Ask a woman on a date in your dance class? She might way no and then you're stuck in a class with her.

Is that a big deal?

Well, it depends on how well you tolerate rejection and if it sticks with you mentally.

If you're not prepared for something like this, how would you cope with the realities of a relationship and break-up if you got one? Imagine dating a coworker, splitting up, and having to see them every day.

And yet - that's precisely how many people meet.

It doesn't seem at all like it's "just" looks. When you see research findings like "men high in the Dark Triad have more sexual partners" is that looks?

No, part of it is that people high in the DT are risk-takers. They are less afraid.

"Criminals have more sexual partners," "bullies have more sexual partners," etc. Is that because they are more facially attractive?

The same traits that make them willing to take risks also make them likely to engage in sexual risk behavior. It's a personality profile.

It's no wonder there is so much focus on dating apps, despite a small percentage of people meeting through them. They provide the perfect low-risk environment.

It can easily seem like dating apps are everything if you're afraid to talk to a woman in a bar, or wherever.

This is also how men get "friend zoned." You were secretly interested in your friend for two years and never told her? You didn't come right out and ask her if she wanted to go on a date, or wanted something more? Fear.

Some of the "take women's rights away so we can get wives" people got upset when I said that they probably wouldn't have been bronze age warlords. They thought I meant this solely on the basis of not being an aesthetic "Chad."

But no - it's behavioral. If you're terrified of failure, rejection, of making a social faux pas, or whatever else, how would you have been a steppe warrior on the plains burning villages down?

I think a generational shift in risk aversion explains part of why we see something weird going on with the youngest men.

But we could also look at simple individual differences here. High neuroticism, low interpersonal dominance, etc.

We could even look at how kids are raised now. Helicopter parenting. Nonstop contact and communication that reduces risk. Kids not being allowed to walk to school or disappear into the neighborhood for the afternoon.

I am very open to the idea that having a very poor physical appearance can exclude some men from the dating market.

However, it really seems like there are some behavioral differences at play too.