Thread by @ComicLoverMari

Hello I’m very sorry for putting so much stress and panic once I got here I was shocked that I’ve caused a major part of here to become scared of my life it’s also sad that I’ve made a lot of people worry

I want to say that Twitter isn’t the main factor why I wanted to end myself it’s a contributing factor I won’t lie but I had other shit going on in my life and I’m annoyed that some people are acting like Twitter is my only life when it isn’t

There’s also been a bunch of people who are saying many things on why I committed suicide I’ll make it clear it’s because of certain people and people who harassed me and not to mention the false allegations and as well the racism, sexism, antisemitism, etc

I also feel like it’s my fault for hurting innocent people and making them feel unsafe I feel like I’m a big toxic stain that harms everyone and but unfortunately some people think all of my followers or the majority are the fucking KKK or some shit like what

I want to believe that the majority of my followers are good or just decent people I hate it when people generalise all of my followers to be Nazis do you know how fucking harmful and insane that is when most of them are just innocent people who enjoy my content

I know some of you guys are gonna say “Oh you’re just gonna brush it off” I’ve been saying multiple times there will always be bad apples for literally ANYONE who has more than 10K followers and I’ve been saying so many fucking times that I’m against discrimination

It’s like when someone told me one time I should basically monitor my Twitter account 24/7 incase anyone says something bad I’m not saying I shouldn’t check if anyone’s an asshole but 24/7 is fucking insane I have a life outside of this shithole

If I have to make myself crystal clear about this I don’t endorse harassment nor do I send my followers after anyone who disagrees with me this isn’t a kingdom where who disagrees with me shall be punished again that’s insane

Sorry if I sound like I’m having a rant I feel like I need to get out of my chest because it’s all been piling up on me badly with being spread misconceptions or some people who feel like they “know” why I wanted to die when it’s only me who knows why I wanted to do it

I may be in a terrible state but I am angry at some of the people who are coming with some of their conclusions on why I wanted to never exist anymore or people going to war with each other that will get people who had done no harm that might’ve been potentially hurt

During my time on here I’ve been nothing but harassed, been called the most horrendous names on earth, being denied of my blackness, seen less of a human being and so much fucking toxic harassment and bullying I wish no one would be in my position

I want NO ONE to be in pain or hurt because me or someone I don’t want anyone to take their own life for any reason at all I don’t know about myself but I want everyone to have a happy and joyful life and live it to the fullest

This goes out to anyone whether they’re in a fanbase, community or so on I truly think it’s my fault at some parts but I literally am tired of taking in all of the shit I’ve been getting I don’t want it anymore I just want to talk about comics and make new friends

I won’t name the people who hurt me purely because I’m scared too and that I’ll be accused of starting a harassment campaign which I don’t want and I ask to not go investigate who it might be I mentally don’t have the strength to go through another drama or controversy

It’s been also brought to my attention that some people have been using my suicide in harmful ways to hurt others I’m truly sorry to anyone that has been hurt because of me I guess I truly am a bad person whether I’m dead or alive I’m fine with people calling out bullshit

But not harassment and I mean some people have been celebrating or some have the attitude of “She’s still responsible for everything she’s done” I genuinely don’t have the words to respond to this

I just wanna say words hurt like mentally I don’t think some people understand how much mental abuse someone can take and some people are claiming the reasons I wanted to end myself wasn’t harassment it definitely was and also it’s because my presence alone causes toxicity

I don’t know it’s just weird that some care more about accountability than the possibility of someone dying not saying taking accountability is bad but it just seems strange maybe I’m in the wrong mindset to think this way I’m sorry

But when I saw all of the outpouring and endless support it made me cry because I never knew this many people would care about someone like me and wanting to make sure I’m okay thank you everyone so so much for your wonderful kind words to me but I don’t deserve it I’m awful

I’m going to try at least something it’s all my fault for causing so much pain and anxiety I sometimes wish I wasn’t around because maybe things would be better but anyways I just came here to say I’m alive and I guess I’m gonna try and get better thank you for reading 💖💖