Jay Acunzo Profile picture
Jul 11, 2023 13 tweets 3 min read Read on X
I just spent 3 days with dear friends, all of whom have kids ages 8mo to 4y.

Something I need to get off my chest about being a parent of young kids and the culture we live in:
What the culture shares and even demands you share about having kids/being a parent is that it's precious, it's a gift, it's a joy, etc.

But this is not what actual parents talk about or how actual parents feel.

Instead...
We talked about the fact that our physical + mental health had gotten problematic. Our careers had taken huge hits. Our friendships were drifting. Our relationships with our partners felt strained (one person summed it up as: they're basically just the other parent I live with)
We didn't sit around writing Hallmark cards to the joys of parenting. We sat around going HO-LEE FORKING SHIRTBALLS this is impossibly hard and every dimension of our life got worse: health, finances, career, love, etc. EXCEPT a new dimension called Loving Our Kids (10/10 great).
Now, the culture (and indeed, the voice in my head) is going.. walk it back, man. Add asides like "(even though I adore them!)"

But the way the culture talks about parenting is not how actual parents talk about parenting to each other.

To understand, think about dream logic.
In a dream, you go, "I'm driving a car on the highway. Also I'm underwater and I can breathe just fine. Also this is the bike shop my dad owns."

And your brain just goes... Yes.

This is parenting. It is multiple things, fully. Terrible and great. Crushing and uplifting. At once
Parents ought to be given more permission to say multiple things are totally true at the same time, because we feel ashamed to feel bad about our experiences otherwise.
Because yes, we all feel like dogsh*t during the early stages of parenting very tiny kids. Yes, we wish we had more time for ourselves and our work. And yes, kids are the reason why every dimension of our lives took a hit EXCEPT this one amazing new dimension. BUT ALSO...
We wouldn't trade it. We don't regret it. I routinely drop everything to console or play with them. I would, w/o thinking, take a bullet for them. I'd arm wrestle The Rock -- and I promise you, I'd win -- for my kids.

But ALSO? This highway is underwater.
This is dream logic.

And people who have yet to experience the dream or for whom the dream is just a distant memory as they age -- and certainly folks who give career advice when they don't do actual parenting at home themselves -- can't understand.

Because it makes no sense.
Thank you to @sarahkpeck & @startup_parent for nudging me to talk more about parenting publicly.

To fellow parents: I see you. I'm with you. Embrace how you feel. There's nothing broken about you but PLENTY about the culture. And most of all:

Welcome to this bakery my dad owns.
@zacgarside @skstock @sarahkpeck @startup_parent Also Zac, if you have anything you've tried to prevent your kids from feeling the way you felt (that sounds very hard, btw), I'm open to learning them.

Operating at the intersection of professional ambition, personal health, and parenting well... is NOT something I'm a pro at
(I'm very happy to see after this went semi-viral that only 1 asshat told me women shouldn't work and should stay at home with the kids. The rest of you humans have been WONDERFUL and SUPPORTIVE and GRATEFUL and you receive ALL MY GRATITUDE back to you.)

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More from @jayacunzo

Oct 24, 2022
I think there's 1 defining trait of a brand "acting like a media company," and that's content brands.

This means (A) well-developed IP, brought to market under (B) named, serialized projects you can subscribe to, featuring (C) talent which is or becomes known.
Content marketing 1.0:
- pieces
- connected by a list of relevant topics
- housed under the company brand
- bylined by anyone

2.0 (aka "media"):
- series
- connected by 1 focused premise
- housed under a named project brand, THEN the company's
- bylined by talent you follow
Marketers still need to drive revenue to make the whole "media" thing work, but it's much more about low-intent leads + passionate fans (word-of-mouth) than, say, the old HubSpot model of blog post-as-banner ad (content as direct response marketing but evergreen)
Read 9 tweets
Sep 27, 2022
A story from Ira Glass + a quote from Kazuo Ishiguro reveal what it takes to be a more gripping storyteller.

Let's dissect both.
Ishiguro said, "Stories are about one person saying to another: This is the way it feels to me. Can you understand what I’m saying? Does it also feel this way to you?"

Clarity: "Can you understand what I'm saying?"

Connection: "Does it also feel this way to you?"
There's a difference between GOOD storytellers & EFFECTIVE storytellers. Good storytellers provide clarity, but effective storytellers ALSO create connection. In doing so, they spark action.

THAT is why we want to be effective storytellers. Our work depends on sparking action.
Read 13 tweets
May 19, 2022
It's not the "best" time to be a creator. It's just the most popular time.

These are not the same thing.

I'd like to provide a counter-cultural narrative quickly, simply to help aspiring creators + creators who may be frustrated or feeling burnt out learn to persist. ⬇️
First, to be clear: I want people to make what matters. That is literally my mission. I don't want to DETER folks from becoming creators or persisting. I want you to NOT get the rugged pulled from under you.

Here's what I mean by that... Image
Social media created a narrative, which fueled a trend, which got misconstrued as the truth, when it contains quite a bit of lie to it:

Just build an audience & monetize it!

In reality, the game is rigged. It's both VERY hard AND the platforms actively work against your cause.
Read 20 tweets
Dec 21, 2021
It's been (checks calendar) 7,000 years, and us marketers STILL debate 'quality vs quantity.'

What I think we're actually asking: "Can we please, boss/client, create stuff we're proud of? Honest-to-goodness cool things which aren't diluted into commodities?"

A few ideas...
1/ Quantity & quality aren't opposites.

Quantity is objective. Quality is subjective.

Quantity is how much. Quality is how it compares--to the spec (did it match?), to the category (is it preferred by others?)

The trick is to learn to slowly nudge the spec fwd.
2/ I had a long conversation with @UnthinkableShow sponsor @TheJuiceHQ. They're building a startup, a new media co serving marketers. The more they build, the better they get at building. Likewise, when I ship a LOT of work, I get better at my craft.

Quantity --> Quality.

But..
Read 10 tweets
Dec 8, 2021
A founder emailed me asking what it takes to be a great podcast guest. He wants to book more appearances too.

I'm fortunate to guest on a few shows per month, in addition to hosting @UnthinkableShow.

I told him these 3 obvious but overlooked things (with pitch sample below) ⬇️
Thing 1) Podcasters want to book someone with a POV. Everyone pitching a host is "successful." Not everyone is INTERESTING. Develop your ideas + stories publicly. Build a platform (of ideas, of audience). That is the real work. Guest appearances become the byproduct. ⬇️
Thing 2) Don't pitch yourself. Pitch how you'd help the podcaster explore something their show has missed so far.

Forget your topics + bio. How do you advance THEIR cause?

Every pitch is generic: successful person succeeded! Instead, LISTEN to the show, then try this...
Read 8 tweets
Dec 21, 2019
We’ve done a few days’ equivalent of discussing our editorial focus for @MShowrunners, so here it is:

1/ we teach chess, not checkers.

Running shows & all it entails (strategy, creative, marketing, measurement, constant reinvention) means there are many moves & ways to “win.”
2/ We won’t offer an easy button. We won’t wade into prescriptions or blueprints. If it can be googled or learned simply by trying stuff for a few minutes, we won’t address it. We want to create masters of chess, not falsely claim it can be checkers.

So who are we serving?
3/ MSR is for marketers who are (a) strategic, not just tactical (We help others see & think better, so that ANYTHING they do will be better) + & (b) involved in creating the content as host, producer, exec producer, etc. (ie they don’t just manage a budget). Click for more ⬇️
Read 6 tweets

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